The Hilarity of Motherhood

Where DID She Go?

2011-04-17T20:09:00.000-07:00

Helllllloooo!?!?!?! I know...you all are wondering "Where did she go? Has she fallen off the face of the "Blogger" plant?" Nope! I haven't. I have been WORKING! That's right...I said WORKING! *Gasp*! Let me fill you in. I think the last time I blogged, I had just started school. Enough time has passed for me to say I SUCCESSFULLY graduated (with a perfect 4.0 GPA, mind you. And yes, I'm quite proud of that. I worked REALLY hard), completed my externship and actually got hired on to my extern site! WOOOOT! I am, officially, a dental assistant. BUT, I'm not working in general dentistry. No, no, no....I had to go for the BLOOD. LOL! I'm working as an oral surgery assistant for a pretty well known Oral and Maxillofacial Surgeon. No, I'm not done with schooling (yet). My plan is to continue my schooling until I have every little certification/degree I can possibly get for a dental assistant. When I go for something, I go for it all, BABY!

Now, to update you on Triscuit and Toblerone.

Triscuit

He's creeping up on his 10th birthday. It's so hard to believe that I have an almost 10 year old. Where does the time go? I think if that question was answered easily, we would find SOME way to slow it down. He's the same Triscuit...just more of an attitude. He thinks he knows it all and loves to argue his way out of every little thing. Tonight, he was dancing around like he had to pee. Conversation was as follows:

Mum: (observing his "pee pee dance") "Triscuit! Stop dancing around and go to the bathroom!"

Triscuit: "But MOOOOM! I don't have to go!"

Mum: (gives it about 2 minutes...all the while STILL noticing the "pee pee dance") "TRISCUIT! NOW!"

Triscuit: "I DON'T HAVE TO GO!"

Mum: "Seriously, son??? You're holding yourself, dancing around like you're walking on hot coals! GO!"

Triscuit: (stands completely still...yet I could have sworn for a split second that his eyeballs had turned yellow) "Mom. I'm standing still. I DON'T have to go! If I had to go, I would know *rolls eyes*."

Less than 2 seconds later, I hear the sound of stomping feet up the stairs and a slam of the bathroom door.

Yeah...Mom knows NOTHING!

He's very sarcastic, yet doesn't seem to catch on to "the queen (me, of course) of sarcasm". My Facebook friends know this story, but it was too funny not to share with you, too.

On our way out to a birthday party yesterday (Saturday), it was silent in the car...except for the radio. All of the sudden, Triscuit pops off with this question:

Triscuit: "Mom? Was I born to be a jerk, like Daddy?"

Mum: (TOTALLY flabbergasted) "TRISCUIT! That wasn't nice! Why would you ask such a question?"

Triscuit: "You call Daddy a "jerk" all the time...I was just wondering."

Uhhhmmmm....yeah. In my defense, my "jerk" label to the hubby is always ALWAYS said in jest....and usually when he touches my belly button (I can't STAND my belly button being messed with). I have NEVER called the hubby a "jerk" and meant it. "Weenie"? Yes. "Jerk"? NO!

He's growing (as every kid does until they reach 20-25 years old), but still has the issue of not gaining weight. He's grown an inch since September (standing at 4'7) and has LOST 3 pounds (thanks to influenza). He eats a TON...just doesn't gain weight. I blame the ADHD (and the husband for the extremely fast metabolism). He's still loving going to a "normal" school, but struggles with reading comprehension and math. He loves anything to do with history and science, but his "love" of reading just isn't there (nor is it for math). I was the exact same way! I'm to blame for THAT one.

Toblerone

Toblerone is a few months away from his 5th birthday. He started preschool this year (standing 2 heads above the rest of his peers...he's 4'4). I was told before he started school that this would be a tough year on his immune system. Whomever told me that wasn't kidding. It seemed he was sick more often than he was well. I swear, this kid caught almost every "bug" that cropped up. Since he was 2 years old (and his bout with croup), he has had problems with wheezing when he catches a cold. It seems to go straight to his chest. Breathing treatments galore! This last time (about a month ago), he was diagnosed with "acute/intermittent asthma". I wasn't happy with that diagnosis (just because I had severe asthma as a teen), but we've learned to cope with it. What did they give him? Steroids. *Clapping*...GOODY! Give the "Hulk" steroids! BRILLIANT move! I know it was necessary for him to get over it, but man...talk about a less than fun 5 days. It increased his appetite (not too bad), made him hyper (I'm sure the albuterol helped *sarcasm*), and sort of seemed to make him moody. The hubby and I have nicknamed him "Beaker". For those of you that are familiar with "The Muppets", imagine every time your child dislikes something, he goes into this high pitched, unrecognizable, SQUEAL. It could have been something as simple as this:

Mum: "Toblerone...time for bed."

Toblerone: *voice goes up 10 octives* "BUT Mooom...mee mee Mee ME ME ME, MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

He must have KNOWN this gets to us, so now, every time he dislikes a request, it's "Beaker" time. Anyone have ear plugs?

As annoying as this can be, he's still pretty funny. He may be "little" (referring to age only), but the kid is hilarious...and he knows it. There are a few choice phrases he's used over the past few months that have left me wondering if I'VE been the guilty party of speaking them in front of him. A four year old shouldn't know how to misconstrue simple words. Examples:

Example one: While watching "Wipe Out", a girl on there biffed it REALLY hard.

Toblerone: "*gasp*! TRITHCUIT! That girl got THPANKED!"

Example two: Triscuit did something that REALLY made Toblerone mad.

Toblerone: "TRITHCUIT! You're mean...and you're a LOOTHER!" (he got a spanking on that one).

Example three: They were eating lollipops, and Toblerone decides to completely CHOW down on his.

Triscuit: "NO! Don't bite it...you'll break your teeth!"

Toblerone: "Mom? Can we THUCK it (emphasis on "suck")?"

Mum: "Please don't chew it, and yes...suck on it."

Toblerone: "TRISCUIT! Mom thaid to THUCK it!"

There is sooooooo much more to share with you (regarding BOTH children), but it's almost 10 o'clock and I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow. I will try my hardest (yes, Ren Ren, I WILL!) to keep up this time. I'm not just doing this for you all...I'm doing this for me (and for them). I want them to know when they are older, that Mommy and Daddy found joy in every little thing that they did. I don't care what they grow up to be, what mistakes they've made (or will make)...Mommy and Daddy have been there and we understand. We find it adorable, cute, and funny MOST of the time...and sometimes, we have to punish behaviors that can become troublesome as they get older (like Toblerone's "Looser" comment. Yes, it's funny...but hurtful. You parents understand....I know you do).

Update...on Life

2010-09-17T12:07:00.000-07:00

I must apologize, yet again, for neglecting my blog. This time, I have very valid reasons.

Reason Number 1 - Mum is in school

I have made it to class every single flippin' day that classes are scheduled. I have also managed to maintain an A+ average! Studying, studying, and more studying, makes it difficult to sit down and find time to blog (also updating Facebook/Twitter is much quicker than blogging). So, those of you that follow me on blogspot should find me on FB (if you're interested, let me know and I'll tell you my real name). School is going beautifully and I'm loving almost every minute of class (with the exception of the current class I'm taking..."Administrative Procedures").

I have gotten used to my instructor and his sense of humor. Imagine, if you will, a person with a laid back temperament, sarcastic sense of humor, and the tolerance of a saint...who was in the U.S. Army for 20 years. He LOVES to give his students hell, and last night, I was his target. Every Thursday and Friday, we have exams. Thursday is terminology and Friday is our exam for the week on the material we cover. Like always, I studied my butt off for these tests. This week was a little different...we had today off (Friday), so all tests were taken last evening (Thursday). I'm a stickler for things being "just so" when it comes to academics. Well, last night, he threw us off by giving us the test differently. Because it wasn't the way I was used to, it took me longer to get through my first test (I was the last one taking it). I guess I asked for it when I threw him my test and said, "I feel SOOO retarded." His response? "Your bus is waiting out front. You know...the short one."

Although I ACED both tests, I still felt like that "special" kid who forgot her helmet at home. He can be an ornery brat, but I must admit, I'm going to miss him when I'm finished with school (which is only 2 months and one week away...then on to my externship).

Reason Number 2 - BOTH Boys are in School

Monday through Friday, I'm in school from 7:15pm to 10:45pm. By the time I get home, it's 11:00pm. You would think I would be exhausted by the time I drag my butt in from the car, but nope. It's incredibly difficult for me to go to bed right away. It takes me quite a while to come down from a night full of dental procedures, teeth, and computer crap. I would say my bed time is around 1:00am. Five and a half hours later, it's time to get the boys ready for school.

6:30am - Here's me in the morning (and since Toblerone is still making it a habit of waking up at the butt crack of dawn, amplify my bitchiness 10 fold. Put it to you this way, we rarely wake up to the sound of our alarm clock).

Instead of staying in his room, Toblerone makes his way upstairs to wake up Triscuit. Since neither of them know what the meaning of "quiet" is, loud giggling, foot stomping, and window shaking madness ensues. Both of them ARE morning people. When I finally roll out of bed, I'm greeted by two insanely happy children (imagine this times two):

This, in theory, SHOULD make me feel better...and for a brief moment, it does. THEN comes the dreaded morning routine. Toblerone has this down to a science, but Triscuit? It's a whole different ball game. Holy crap, this kid CANNOT get the morning routine down. It's the SAME every stinkin' morning. Get up, make his lunch, get dressed (he showers at night since he loves to play around and sing in the shower), shoes and socks, brush his teeth, brush his hair, TAKE HIS PILL, get his backpack on and head out the door. This process should take no more than 20 minutes. But for Triscuit? It takes 40 minutes. Half the time he's either chasing the dog around or pretending he's "SONIC the Hedgehog". I'm thinking I need to give him his Ritalin the minute he wakes up...maybe that will help.

7:15am - Weenie and I take boys to school. Boys are IN CLASS by 7:30am.

7:30am - Weenie and I have a 20-30 minute commute to his work (we only have one car), where I drop him off.

8:20am-10:20am - This is "ME" time. This usually consists of coffee, checking e-mail, updating Facebook/Twitter, turning music on, then studying.

10:20-10:40 - Leave to get Toblerone from preschool, come back home. Now come daily chores. Laundry, cleaning, and various other activities.

2:20-2:40 - It's back to school to get Triscuit (who has been doing EXCELLENT in school, by the way). Once home, Triscuit sits down to do his homework.

3:00 - It's time for ME to get ready for school.

4:30 - We leave to get Weenie from work,

5:15 - We arrive home, I make dinner

6:30 - I'M off to school.

So, there...you have an idea of what my days consist of. Yes, I'm tired...BUT, I'm enjoying it. I love the fact that both boys look forward to school everyday. I love the fact that both boys are doing sooo well! I love the fact that, even though our lives are busy, we are all HAPPY. Things will be even better after I start working!

I will try and get to a few more blogs by the time the week begins. The boys have been saying some crazy stuff lately and I have some really funny stuff to share.

Chairside (and Idiot) Assisting

2010-06-02T11:56:00.000-07:00

Last evening was my first night delving into the mechanics of dental assisting. Because the college I'm attending is a fast paced one, there is no "easing" into things. First night in my professors class opened my (and the other D.A.'s) eyes to what's to come.

How this college works is new students are introduced into the program every month. There are a total of 8 courses (excluding externship) you must take in your field. Each group of students that begin will NOT begin with the same class YOU did. For example, the D.A.'s that started a month previous to us, started with Dental Sciences. This month, we start with Chairside Assisting. Those students beginning the program next month will begin with Laboratory Procedures. Each month, the class grows with new students and some leave to begin their externships. What we weren't expecting was the "idiot" factor. I have a message to those parents out there with children embarking on college for the first time. Do NOT send your children to college if they aren't mature enough to handle it. All you will be doing is wasting your money and unleashing an immature child on the rest of us...for US to deal with.

As I stated before, last evening was an eye opener...not just with the amount of information we have to soak up before exams every Thursday and Friday, but with the personalities in the class. There are some that are quiet and studious, then there are those who could give a crap about ANYTHING going on around them or ANYONE ELSE that may be there. As soon as the class started, these two fools in the back decided they were going to beat-box instead of taking notes. Then, one dropped their pencil and yelled, "G-D it all" WHILE the professor was talking. The other D.A. (the one that started with me) just looked at me...DUMBFOUNDED. The professor did NOTHING to address their behavior, but instead, chose to ignore it. This is NOT going to fly with me. I'm not paying thousands of dollars to be distracted by a couple of morons.

Next, we head over to the dental lab. This lab is set up like a rather large dental office (even smells like it, too). Everything from exam chairs, drills and x-ray machines to fake heads with cadaver teeth in them. Our lab assignment last evening was to get familiar with the hardware the dentists use. As dental assistants, we have to know how to put drills together, what apparatuses we need to attach to what hose, and even know the difference in bur (drill) bits. We also had to familiarize ourselves with what foot pedal controls what drill. Since there are 3 patient operatory stations, we had to break up into groups to do this. Guess who we get stuck with? The two class clowns. Since they've been in the program longer than us, their job was to show us what to do and how to attach things. Yes, they showed us that but then, they decided they were going to play "doctor/assistant". One, with the drill bit and the other with suction. Specific instructions were "do not drill into the cadaver teeth". What did they do? DRILLED INTO THE CADAVER TEETH. When the professor came around to look at our techniques, he noticed that there was dust in our "patient" mouth. I swear, his eyes changed from deep blue to deep red. He was ANGRY. He asked the other D.A. and I "who drilled the teeth?". We looked at each other, looked back at the professor and said, "Take a guess". He absolutely LOST his cool! After yelling at the guys, he turns back to us and gets short with US because our technique was wrong. Uhhh....hello? This was our FIRST NIGHT!

So, to recap, we spent 1 hour and 45 minutes in lecture, took a 30 minute break, and spent the last hour and 45 minutes in the lab. What did I get out of it? Seven pages of notes, NO answers (and no clue) to what I took notes on, a basic idea of how to navigate in the operatory station, what NOT to do to tick off my professor, and to stay OUT of his way when he's angry.

Tonight should be fun...*sarcasm*.

I found this and thought it was rather appropriate. I'm thinking this screen printed on a shirt may get the point across:

Hickeys

2010-05-21T11:22:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid (I don't know about you all), I used to suck on my arms and give myself hickeys (before I KNEW what they were). I don't know if this is a genetic trait or just a kid thing, but Triscuit started doing this.

Two days ago, he walks past me and I see this thing on his upper arm.

Mum: "Hey, Triscuit. Come here."

Triscuit: "Yeah, Mom? Whassup?"

Mum: *Grabs his arm*..."What's this?"

Triscuit: "Oh...I sucked on my arm and this is what happened. Isn't it cool?"

Mum: "Do you know what we call that?"

Triscuit: "No...what?"

Mum: "We call those things Hickeys."

Triscuit: "Oh. Are they bad?"

Mum: "Well, that depends."

Triscuit: *Inquisitive look*

Mum: "Imagine yourself with a girlfriend...."

Triscuit: "MOOOOM! Ewww."

Mum: "No...bear with me. Imagine yourself in a few years having a girlfriend. Let's say you guys are kissing...."

Triscuit: "MOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!"

He tries to run away, but I grab him.

Mum: "I'm trying to be serious, Triscuit. You need to hear this."

Triscuit: *Turning red* "But, I don't wanna talk about this."

Mum: "You have to learn SOMETIME! OK...I'll skip the details. If I see one of these on your neck, we're going to have one SERIOUS talk, little man."

Triscuit: "Girls suck on your neck? GROSS!"

Mum: *Laughing* "You say that NOW! Just you wait."

This whole time, I didn't realize Toblerone was listening.

Toblerone: "If a giwl giveth you a hickey, we're going to 'retht (arrest) her and put her in jaiw."

Mum: "I don't know about jail, but you and the girl will be under watchful eyes for quite some time."

Toblerone: "That'th icky."

Mum: "Remember this conversation Toblerone, because your day is coming, too."

Toblerone: "Nuh uh. I don't like giwlth (girls)."

Mum: "But Mommy's a girl."

Toblerone: "Ewww."

Now, he's wiping off my kisses.

What am I doing about this, you ask? I make SURE my lips are EXTRA wet. The sloppier the kiss, the more it irritates him. HA! Don't you say "ewww" to ME anymore. I will make sure you know what "Ewww" REALLY means. Stinker.

Bathroom Cleaning 101

2010-05-11T13:12:00.000-07:00

Good Afternoon, Ladies and Gentleman. My name is Mrs. Mum and I'll be your teacher today.

Just in case you forgot what you signed up for, this class will cover how to clean and disinfect your bathroom. The material I'm about to teach you comes from years of overcoming obstacles, persistance and hard work. I STRONGLY suggest you take notes.

When you first decide to either move in with a person (room mates, significant other) or get married, you must understand that they do not have the same outlook you do on how to keep a bathroom tidy. If you are anything like me, once you grasp that concept, you will have less anger and frustration. So, stop threatening them within an inch of their lives, and just chill out. Also remember, when you decide to add children to the mix, they are NOT born with your OCD tendencies. Do NOT expect them to understand your extremely uptight ways. If you must, place a pillow in a plastic bag (under the sink, of course) to muffle your screams after they're done using said bathroom. All you will do is scare the poor child and cause the need for years of therapy to come on faster than normal.

The pointers I'm going to give you will help with maintaining your OCD lifestyle. Without further adieu, I give you "Bathroom Cleaning 101", and yes, I am OCD/Germaphobe certified.

First and foremost, personal protection/safety is an absolute must. If you do NOT already own a Hazmat suit, I STRONGLY suggest you purchase one of these:

I'm sure you're thinking, "Aren't Hazmat Suits usually yellow?" The answer to that is, yes. HOWEVER, if you want full protection against toilet back splash, the difference between the yellow and the blue suits are quite substantial. The yellow hazmat suit won't protect you from the heavy chemical warfare you will have to wage on your bathroom. The blue one, however, will protect you from moderate liquid splash, acid handling, tank cleaning, agrochemicals and oil refining (those last two are perks in case you have an aversion to yard work or changing the oil in your car).

Next, grab these two chemicals...one for the toilet and one for the rest of the bathroom (faucet handles, sinks, drain stopper, counters, mirrors, light switches, doorknobs and anything else that can collect the microscopic spray given off by a toilet when you flush it). I do prefer Lysol products...but if you can obtain industrial strength, then by all means, go for it.

Thoroughly cover your bathroom counter, faucet handles, and sink bowl with the first product until all you see is a sea of white foam. Let it sit while you move on to the next phase...the toilet.

Grab the second product and COAT the toilet bowl with the cleaner...no white porcelain should be showing. If you miss a spot, you may as well clean that toilet bowl again. Make SURE you get the extra thick formula...the more it clings to the toilet bowl, the cleaner it becomes.

Now...locate the toilet scrubber:

or jack hammer (depending on the condition of your toilet bowl):

Grasp either device and scrub/jackhammer your heart out! If there is porcelain left after the scrubbing session, you aren't scrubbing hard enough. Flush at least 10 times (no more or no less...otherwise you with OCD will have to start over). ALWAYS REMEMBER - for optimum cleanliness, dispose of devices above. Under no circumstances should you store something that has been used in a toilet bowl.

If you have children (especially boys) this product will be your best friend until they move out (the 48oz bottle should last you for at LEAST 4 bathroom cleanings):

Make sure ANY surface that gets dribbled on is sprayed with this stuff. Trust me...you'll thank me for the tip. Let it sit for a few minutes, then wipe it up with your heavy duty paper towels.

By now, the product on your counter/sink area should be done "foaming". Grab your paper towel or sponge (disposable of course) and tackle the counter. Scrub it until you can no longer feel your forearms and biceps...by then, it should be clean. When it comes to the sink bowl area, make sure you use Steele Wool. You need to keep in mind that catophuls (our family's word for throat cookies) are often "harked" into that sink. You need to use something heavy duty when attacking the drain stopper...anything less, and your sink bowl area MAY still have throat cookie residue.

Now that the hard part is done, take your heavy duty paper towels and your bathroom disinfectant and start wiping down the entire bathroom. It doesn't matter if the paint starts to peel off the walls or the caulking comes off from around the sink....in your germaphobe mind, it's all well worth it.

I realize that this sounds like an AWFUL lot of work, but isn't it worth not having E.Coli, Streptococcal, Hepatitis A, B and C (possibly D, E and F, too), Fungi, and Mold around? YES...it is.

There ARE some options for those of you who don't have time to spend a full day disinfecting your bathroom. I'll give you the top three.

1. Self Cleaning Bathroom:

2. Self Cleaning Toilet/Urinal (forgive the mannequins demonstrating the products. Someone was overly ambitious when they made the mold for the dummies):

3. Male Maid (my personal favorite). He has the muscle for scrubbing and he looks cute in the outfit.

This concludes our lesson for the day. I hope my tips will help you achieve disinfected zen. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. I WILL have an answer for you.

We Be...Clubbin'?

2010-05-04T14:16:00.000-07:00

I'm going to go off of the usual subjects (Triscuit and Toblerone) and post about me. I know that most of my readers know me better than I know myself, so I thought I would invite you in on a very important evening in my life....the "Last Horrah", as I call it. And yes, I'm armed with my camera.

Imagine...it's my last weekend of freedom, before this middle aged Mum of Two decides to take a risk and improve her life and the life of her family. So, I gather my two main ladies...my sister "Nani" and my really good, awesome, supportive, funny friend "Witha" (as Toblerone calls her). The plan was to go to dinner, drink some wine and go to a local dance club called "Hurricane Bay" (not necessarily in that order).

Nani, Witha, and I hit Rubio's and indulge in a salad. I know...exciting, but I wasn't going to blow my recent 15 pound loss on food that was going to make me gain it back. Also, being on the Atkins diet for over a month will make you think twice about your food choices, and it isn't just for the weight gain reason. Look up "Carb Dumping". You tell me, would you indulge right before you go to a club? I didn't think so.

It didn't take as long to wolf down a salad as I thought it would, so we head over to "Total Wine" and grab a few bottles for later consumption. If you aren't a wine person and have never tried Muscato D'Asti, you must. It's a sweet (dessert) wine that will make you wonder what your hang up was about wine in the first place. Oh...and each of us gets carded. Do you have any idea how happy that made me?

We head back to Witha's house, drop off the bottles of wine (there were only 2...don't panic), where we find her oldest son playing video games. I call him Spence...and he's an absolutely wonderful and handsome boy who has brains to boot (and please don't take that as creepy...I say that in a motherly way, of course). Forget the baseball bat, Witha. You're going to need a shotgun.

LOL...well, I did catch him off guard. He's even cuter when he smiles.

Finally...the clock hits 7:30pm and time to hit "da club".

I haven't been to a club since my early 20's. Yes, I used to be on the dance floor with the rest of them, but ladies, you'll understand the next thing I'm about to say. Once you have children, it seems like all the coordination you had prior to having them seems to leave your body the moment you give birth. I never broke bones prior to children. After I had Triscuit, I broke two. I wasn't about to risk breaking a third by trying to dance. Besides, it's more fun to "people watch". I know things have changed, but I'm still thinking "Great. This is going to be your typical club. Skinny, YOUNG, beautiful girls flaunting their curves (or lack thereof, depending on the affordability of breast enhancement. Oh...sorry. Was that mean? I have yet to see a size 0-4 girl with God given endowment...seriously. I know...Meow), with big, buff, tan men pulling out all the stops to impress said girls. This should be fun." I walk in and see this (not this particular girl, but you know the type):

Peachy. But then, I look elsewhere...and what do I see? Holy crap! WOW!

It's not just the size differences that amazes me...it's the AGE differences, too. From young college attending girls, to middle aged moms (like me), to GRANDMA'S out there shakin' their groovy behinds. It was actually quite refreshing! There was one lady there that we dubbed "Heidi". Imagine THIS, only her hair was real, she wasn't wearing a plastic dress and she was about 45 years old.

When it came to the men that were there, it was pretty typical. Although, there were a few in there that looked like this:

Eww. When you see guys like this, their ego's usually enter a room before they do.

I'm thinking, "OK...this is your last night in a while to have a little R-N-R. Loosen up and have FUN, dang it!" The pretty, young waitress (in a child's dress), comes up to take our drink order. Because I'm driving, I order water. I took a picture to prove it:

No, they don't put lemon wedges in Vodka.

I start snapping photos of the Sister (on the left) and Witha (right).

As I'm snapping away, Witha says, "OK...YOUR TURN." Crap. I HATE having my picture taken...but, since I vowed to "loosen up and have fun", I hand her the camera.

Here's evidence that, yes...I DO know how to have fun.

Me on the left, the Sister on the right:

I was told to "pose". This is the best I could do.

And yes, just to show I'm a good sport, I'll post a silly one, too. I think we can blame our parents for the "crazy" gene. And Dad? I'm mainly talking to you, since the Sister is sporting a classic "Dad" look. As for MY look, I would have to say that's all Mom's fault.

So, ladies? I just wanted to say thank you SO much for such a wonderful time! You two are the best and I love you very much!

Toblerone...Need I Say More?

2010-04-29T23:19:00.000-07:00

I'm posting this one late at night because my head is swimming with information from orientation and I don't even feel tired. Can we say "run on sentence"? Sheesh...I'm slipping.

On to Toblerone and his "growing up". With this kid, "growing up" won't stop for him until he can touch the clouds. I feel for him, poor little-big guy. All I can say is I'm glad God has given him a gentle giant type of personality. He'll need it throughout school. That cherub face will also help him be less intimidating!

I've taken similar pictures comparing his hands and feet to MY hands and feet. Again, remember, he's not yet four years old (not until June 21st).

Toblerone's hand on top of mine....love his chunky little hands!

Toblerone's foot next to mine (and the dog's toy happens to show up...niiice)...

Now, on to Toblerone's face. Take one:

Oh for the love of all that holy...LOOK AT MOMMY and DON'T CLOSE YOUR EYES!!!

Toblerone's face - take two:

That's better...but now he has that "How YOU doin'" look on his face. I guess it's better than the "special" snapshots I'm used to taking. ONE of these days, he'll learn how to pose.

As with Triscuit, Toblerone is also growing up in more ways than just physical. He, too, has reached a "phase"...and it's not a good one.

For you parents out there that have older children, think back (however far back that may be). Remember the temper tantrums, the whining and crying, and the assertive phase? Yes...that's what I'm dealing with. Here's the big "BUT" you all are waiting for. BUT, I can GUARANTEE that your almost four year old wasn't 75 pounds and four feet tall. Ever tried to wrestle a child that size? Yeah...it isn't easy. I'm not a small woman, either. I'm average weight for a woman that stands at 5'9. You would think it would be easy. Think again. The kid has the strength of Hercules! He was helping Weenie move boxes outside for God's sake!

Yes, I'm going to touch on another sensitive subject that I'm sure will make you guys say, "WHY did you post this on your blog?". The answer to that, my friends, is called "life". We all MUST get over the embarrassment of parts. You parents with BOYS will understand exactly what I'm talking about.

NAKEDNESS AND BOOOOOBS

Whenever I say, "OK boys...time for a shower!", the FIRST person standing stark naked is Toblerone. The kid has NO modesty whatsoever. I swear, he rips off his clothes in the blink of an eye. I'm actually thinking about calling him "Flash Gordon" (pun intended). If I could get Triscuit to move that fast, we wouldn't have so many screaming matches!

Mum: "Boys...time for a shower."

Triscuit: "But MOOOOM! We just TOOK a shower."

Mum: "Move, son! I'm not going to argue with you."

As Triscuit tries to plead his case, giving the pros and cons of taking a shower, Toblerone is buck naked, shaking his booty at Triscuit.

Toblerone: "I'm going to get into the shower FIRTHT! *sticks his tongue out*

Triscuit: "MOOOOM! He stuck his tongue out at me!!! Spank him!"

Mum: *sigh*..."Triscuit, just take your clothes off and get into the shower."

Meanwhile, Toblerone is now upstairs and OUTSIDE in all his naked glory. Look at the pictures above...see how white he is? Yeah...I think the neighbors thought a second sun magically appeared.

Mum: "TOBLERONE! Get BACK inside NOW!"

Toblerone: *Turns around and shakes his booty...at ME*

Mum: "Ohhhh....I can't believe you just did that. That is SO rude, Toblerone!"

Toblerone: *Runs around on the patio, mustering every bit of ornery he has in him...LAUGHING*

Mum: "You WILL get a spanking if you do not come see me right NOW."

Reluctantly, he comes over to me (covering his naked little behind thinking "there is NO way Mommy can spank me with my hands there"). I FINALLY get them into the shower after 10 minutes of this.

It usually takes me about 5 minutes to fully scrub and clean him (and no, I didn't use the scrubby on his sensitive part). While he exits, Triscuit enters. As I'm reiterating instructions to Triscuit on how to wash properly (see previous post if you're wondering what I'm talking about), Toblerone's naked and WET butt is upstairs...and this time he's chasing the dog. *sigh*

Mum: "Toblerone...PLEASE come here. I need to dry you off."

He actually LISTENS this time and comes to see me. Next thing I know, this expression crosses his face:

He stares at my chest (I'm wearing a sports bra), then stares at his.

Toblerone: "What are thothe?"

Mum: "They're boobs, honey. Only girls have them (I decided to go ahead and point that out before he had a chance to ask)."

Toblerone: "Why do you have booooobth?"

Mum: "Because....um....."

Crap. How am I going to explain this to him...on HIS level?

Mum: "Because girls have different parts than boys. That's what makes girls different from boys."

Toblerone: "What are dey for?"

Really? Did he just ask me that?

Mum: "To feed babies. That's what Mommy's do when they have kids."

Toblerone: "Do dey eat dem?"

Mum: "No. Mommy's make milk when they have babies."

Toblerone: "Can I make milk?"

Mum: "No...only girls can."

Toblerone: "When will I get booooobth?"

Mum: "Are you a girl?"

Toblerone: *laughing* "Mooom! No, I'm not a giwl."

Mum: "What makes you a boy?"

That question popped out of my mouth before I even thought about it. NEVER....EVER do that.

Toblerone: "I don't have booooobth."

Thaaat's right, kid. Keep thinking that way...at least until your father gets home.

Toblerone: "Do you have milk?"

I am SO done with this conversation.

Mum: "Here's your crayons and coloring book. Why don't you color for a while?"

Thankfully, he stops with the questions...at least until the NEXT time he takes a shower.

Life is never dull in this house. If you ever catch me saying "I'm bored", your response should be "count your blessings".

Growing Up - Triscuit Style

2010-04-28T12:23:00.000-07:00

I know I've mentioned that Triscuit is growing up way too quickly. But...you have NOOOO idea just HOW quickly. We've all heard the term "growing like a weed". I think Triscuit has far surpassed "weed" status. I went ahead and took photos comparing his hands and feet to my hands and feet. Remember....we're comparing a (almost) 9 year old to a grown 36 year old woman (who stands at 5'9).

Triscuits hand on top of mine

Triscuits foot next to mine (I know...my feet need some TLC)

Here's the kicker. His face is changing. I look at him and can no longer see any "baby" in him (I know he looks tired...Toblerone has a habit of waking up before the butt crack of dawn. Since he doesn't want to be alone when he gets into everything, he goes and wakes up Triscuit. This has been happening for over 3 weeks now).

I WAS going to take a picture of his shoulders, but I don't think that pictures would do his shoulders justice. Let's just say his shirts (size 10) no longer fit him correctly.

Not only is he growing up physically...be he's growing up in other areas, too. His attitude is changing (and for the most part, not in a GOOD way). He's asserting himself more...which is making him more argumentative. Granted, after a week of being in time out and getting soap for back talking, he's straightening up a bit, but still has his "jerky" moments. And before you yell at me, I DO realize that this is a phase. Unfortunately, he won't be growing out of this phase until he has children of his own. I love him to death and wouldn't trade these moments for the world, but my patience is running thin. There IS some funny in all of this (I'm having to look deeper these days for the funny, but it's still there). We (Weenie and I) have been dealing with this for quite a while with him. I swear, if this kid ever goes out for the debate team, he'll be at the top of the team!

What I'm about to divulge he will more than likely kill me for when he's older, but until then, let's laugh about it.

HYGIENE

Mum: "Triscuit...time for a shower."

Triscuit: "But MOOOM! I took a shower two days ago. I don't need one again...I don't stink!"

Mum: "Have you smelled yourself lately?"

Triscuit: "MOOOM!"

Mum: "NOW, son!"

As Triscuit is showering, Weenie walks down the stairs, wrinkles his nose and says, "It smells like wet boy down here (and if you haven't smelled wet boy, imagine the smell of a wet dog. It's one in the same)." So, I asked Weenie to "please instruct Triscuit how to wash properly". I know some of you are wondering why I didn't instruct him. Well, since I lack certain plumbing, I have NO clue how to instruct him on how to wash "it". I tried to show him once, but after the lesson Weenie gave, apparently, I showed him incorrectly.

I hear Weenie instructing him on how to wash his hair, his pits, his behind, arms, legs, and feet (yes, I instructed Triscuit on these parts, too...but apparently Weenie wanted to give a refresher). Then I hear him instructing him on how to wash "it". Soon, Weenie appears next to me letting me know what happened (this may get embarrassing for some of you not used to talking about parts...but it's a fact of life people....seriously).

Weenie: "While instructing Triscuit, I realized his trepidation on wanting to wash it."

Mum: "Why? I showed him how."

Weenie: *gives me this flabbergasted look* "Ummm, honey? He was using a SCRUBBY to wash it. Do you have any idea how extremely sensitive it is???"

Mum: "I don't have one of "those" honey, I wouldn't know."

Weenie: "Well, do YOU scrub your lady parts with a scrubby?!?!?!"

Mum: *Facepalm* "No, I don't."

Yes. Call me naive, blond and stupid...I don't care. I deserve it after that. What possessed me to show him that way??? If I can't do that, then GUYS sure can't! What was I thinking???

Mum: "Well, you instructed him otherwise, right?"

Weenie: "Yes. I told him to put soap on his hand and make SURE every crevice is washed."

Mum: "How did it go?"

Weenie: "Let's just say, I don't think he'll have a problem washing it anymore."

Lordy. I am SO not ready for THAT phase. I can guarantee you RIGHT NOW when "that" issue arises, I will NOT be the one addressing it.

Gems From Toblerone

2010-04-08T11:16:00.000-07:00

Although Toblerone isn't yet four years old, he's smarter and wiser than he SHOULD be. Here are some gems he's come out with recently. The last scenario gives you a peek into my life with my larger-than-life child.
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PEE PEE TROUBLES

Toblerone - "Mom (I am no longer "mommy")? I need thome new shorth."

Mum - "Why? Are they wet?"

Toblerone - "Yeth. I peed in them."

Mum - "Why did you pee in them?"

Toblerone - "Becauthe my body told me that it had to go RIGHT THEN. My pee pee wouldn't lithen to me telling it to wait."

Mum - "Toblerone...your body will start telling you it has to go BEFORE your pee pee doesn't have time to listen...you just need to pay attention to it."

Toblerone - "But, it didn't, Mom. It thnuck up on me and went all by ithelf. It'th a BAD PEE PEE."
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AN UNNATURAL FASCINATION (*hurp*)

Toblerone isn't old enough to wipe his own behind, so it's up to Weenie and I to help him. Unfortunately, every time he goes, we go through a scenario like this one (this one happened today).

Toblerone - (yelling from the bathroom) "Moooooom! I peeewwwpt (seriously, that's how he says it)! Come wipe my buuuuuuutt!"

Mum - *sigh*...."I'm coming. Be there in a minute."

I, begrudgingly, go down the stairs to the bathroom. I see him leaning on the toilet seat with his hands, studying what he's made.

Mum - (fighting back a huge gag) "Toblerone...please stop. That's yucky."

Toblerone - "But look, Mom. It'th big and it thank (sank). And there's (counting)....4 of them!"

Mum - "Good for you...but Mommy doesn't want to look."

Toblerone - "Why (he obviously hasn't picked up on the fact that I can't stand anything fecal)? It'th cooooooool."

Mum - "It's not cool...it's gross. Now, turn around so I can wipe your butt."

Toblerone - (turns around, eyes still on the toilet bowl) "But Mooooom....jutht LOOK at it. *gasp*...One'th FLOATING!"

I couldn't hold back the gag any longer. Good thing I hadn't eaten anything yet.

Mum - "Toblerone...poop makes Mommy feel sick to her stomach. Please....just flush the toilet and pull your pants up."

Toblerone - (Ornery grin) "What color is pewp?"

Mum - "Seriously, Toblerone? You KNOW what color it is...now stop it. You're going to make Mommy puke."

Toblerone - (studying it a little longer)....

Mum - "TOBLERONE! Flush to toilet....NOW."
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HUNGER PAINS

You all have seen Toblerone. He's a "big boy". Tall, built like a football player (broad shoulders, thick legs)....and has the appetite of one, too. Here's something that hit me like a ton of bricks the other day. Did you know Shaq is 7'1? I thought he was taller than that. Toblerone is supposed to be 7'2! Scared yet? Here's a typical conversation we have about 10 times a day.

Toblerone - "Mooom. I'm huuuungry."

Mum - "When AREN'T you hungry? It's not time to eat yet. Chill out and go drink your juice."

Toblerone - "But Mooooom!!!! *tears start rolling*...I'm REALLY hungry. Pleathe? Can I have a thnack?"

Mum - "No. You just had lunch, son! It's not time for a snack."

Toblerone - "I NEEEED thomethin'. I'm thtarvin'!"

Mum - "Stop and listen to your tummy. Is it really hungry, or are you just bored?"

Toblerone - "I'll go get my OWN thnack. I'm getting Nilla waferth and wowwipopth."

Mum - "Oh no you aren't! You will eat when MOMMY says it's time to eat."

Toblerone - "You're MEEAAN! I'm going to thtarve to death and you don't care!"
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I know that God has given me the children I was MEANT to have. However, He has yet to show me how to DEAL with their needs appropriately. I have one child who I can't get to gain enough weight and one that I can't get to STOP gaining weight. I'm sure you all know me well enough to know that their weight issues are a huge concern for me. Suggestions anyone?

Interesting Stuff From The Mouth Of Triscuit

2010-04-07T10:20:00.000-07:00

I've resigned myself to the fact that Triscuit just has a different thinking process than most. Here are some interesting statements made by him over the past few months.
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Dog Butt Issues

While observing one of our dogs scooting it's butt across the floor (GROSS), Triscuit says this:

Triscuit - "Mom? Why do dogs scoot their butts across the floor?"

Mum - "Because...(he didn't let me finish)"

Triscuit - "Are they trying to vacuum?"
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Future Career

Mum - "Honey? What do you want to do when you grow up?"

Triscuit - "Help Dad with his XBox achievements."

Mum - (laughing) "You can't make a living doing that. You won't get paid."

Triscuit - "But that's what I want to do."

Mum - (I then realized that I should have posed the question a little differently) "What do you want to BE when you grow up?"

Triscuit - "A video game."

*sigh*....I gave up at that point.
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Phlegm

Triscuit - (Coughing due to a nasty cold)

Mum - "Triscuit! Cover your mouth! That's SOOO rude!"

Triscuit - *Observes a wad of phlegm fly out of his mouth*

Triscuit - (With a huge grin) "Mom! Did you SEE that??? I coughed a booger up FROM MY LUNGS! How is that possible?"

Mum - "When you have a cold, you need to blow your nose instead of swallowing it. Otherwise, it will end up sitting on your chest."

Triscuit - (perplexed look on his face) "How can boogers sit on your chest? They don't have butts."
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Little Brothers

Triscuit - "Mooooom! Toblerone HIT me!"

Mum - "WHY did he hit you? There has to be a reason."

Triscuit - "I wasn't doing aaaanything (yeah, right) and he came over and HIT me. I don't LIKE my little brother. Why did you have to have him?"

Mum - "That isn't nice! How would you like it if Toblerone said the same thing to me about you?"

Triscuit - "He wouldn't. He likes me too much...and I was here first."
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Eddie

Triscuit has this annoying ability to really upset that dog. After yelling at him I don't know HOW many times to leave her alone, she finally hauled off and gnawed on his thumb (it wasn't as bad as he made it out to be).

Triscuit - *CRYING HIS EYES OUT* "She BIT me! I wasn't doing aaaanything, and she BIT me!"

Mum - "HA! I watched you! You were teasing her, RELENTLESSLY! How many times did I tell you to LEAVE HER ALONE! When are you going to learn to listen? If you listened to me to begin with, you wouldn't be in this position, now would you?"

Triscuit - "Mom! YOU said I have to learn things the hard way. So, I was!"
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Braces (I have no one to blame but myself for this one)

At first, Triscuit was really happy to get his braces. Now, the novelty has warn off and he HATES them.

Triscuit - "When am I going to get my braces off?"

Mum - "They said you had to have them for a year, so around Christmas time of THIS year."

Triscuit - "But they're poking my gums and hurting my lips. Aren't my teeth straight enough?"

Mum - "No, honey. You must have them on until you're done. Sorry."

Triscuit - "Well, THAT sucks."
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Life Cycle of Plants (I've saved the best for last)

Mum - "Once a plant makes a seed, fruit will form around it. Birds and other animals eat that fruit, ingesting the seeds. Think this through...if a deer were to eat some wild berries, where would those seeds end up?"

Triscuit - "In their stomachs."

Mum - "When YOU eat, what happens to your food once your body is done with it?"

Triscuit - "*sigh*....do I have to say it?"

Mum - "Ummm...yes. What's wrong with saying it?"

Triscuit - "You don't like it, remember?"

Mum - "I'm a big girl, I can handle it. This is for school and you HAVE to learn this. It's very important."

Triscuit - "It drops it out of it's butt."

Mum - "Or...it POOPS it out...it's alright....you can say poop."

Triscuit - "Drops it isn't as gross."

Toblerone then decides to let one go (perfect timing)

Triscuit - (CRACKING up) "Mom...you may want to see if Toblerone dropped one out of his butt. It sounded like it popped out and hit the floor."

OK...*HURP* gross! Regardless of the terms, poo is poo. Dropped and popped are now on the "things that make me gag" list.

Much Needed Change In Life Begins NOW

2010-04-06T10:51:00.000-07:00

My apologies, yet again, for not updating my blog. You'll understand why in a few.

First off, let me update you all on the munchkins.

Triscuit - Triscuit is doing wonderfully, even though he is in need of a doctor visit for a medication increase. He's growing up (too quickly) and with that, his attitude is changing. He seems to have outgrown the touch-me-not stage and has actually asked to have snuggle time with me (snuggle time consists of me sitting on the couch and him laying next to me watching something on T.V.). He's lost a lot of his little boy looks, too (see attached picture). The chiseled features are starting to emerge, his hands and feet are getting bigger, his arms and legs are getting longer and he's even had a few zits over the past few months. The biggest change is, little girls are taking notice of him. Mum isn't liking the last change AT ALL. I knew he was going to be a good looking kid, but seriously girls? He's (almost) NINE... BACK OFF! Don't get Mama Bear mad, or Mama Bear gets all up in your 'bidness.

Toblerone - Toblerone is doing peachy, too. He now stands at 4 feet tall. I thought for sure he wasn't going to hit that mark until AFTER he turns four in June, but he proved me wrong. I'd love to post his weight for you, but honestly? I'm afraid to weigh him. He's a big boy...and I'll leave it at that (You can see what I mean in the picture below). His vocabulary has increased 10 fold and is talking a LOT better (although he still has that cute little lisp). His favorite phrases lately are, "Ooooh man!", "You fail", and "You're getting on my nervth (nerves)". Looks like he's going to be a sarcastic one, as well. Gee...I wonder where they get that trait from?

Weenie - although he's not one of my "munchkins", he IS the father of said munchkins, therefore deserves some blog time. Weenie is doing quite well, too. He's very busy at work (YAY), has grown a beard and mustache (he's never been able to do that...I guess his hormones have finally kicked in) and is currently sick with a nasty cold I managed to pass along to the family. He's been hit the hardest by this cold...probably because he constantly on the move and doesn't take the time to sit and relax. Maybe this cold was a Godsend.

Now, let's talk about the title of my blog.

Things haven't been "rough", so to speak, but we do live far below how we should be living. We're both 36 years old. We rent our home, we have one car and have no health insurance for Weenie and I. This isn't meant for anyone to say, "Oh my goodness! You poor (literally) people!" We've chosen to sacrifice some things so I could stay home with the munchkins (where I SHOULD be). But needs are arising that, no matter how hard we try, we cannot fulfill. Now that both boys are ready to go to a brick and mortar school, where does that leave me? I'm not the type of person to sit around and do nothing. I HAVE to keep busy! I've always loved the medical field. I worked in Pharmacy for over 10 years and in a dialysis clinic for a little over 2 years. But, in the back of my mind, I've always wondered what it would be like to work in dentistry. Over the past few years, it seems as though we've lived at the dental office with all of the work poor Triscuit has had to have done. Through various conversations I've had with his dentist as well as the ladies that work in his orthodontists office, I've made the decision to go back to school to become a dental assistant. Over the past week, I've been accepted into the program, enrolled, and this evening will have all of my financial aid in place to begin night classes on May 3rd. WOOOOT! I am extremely nervous, but at the same time I'm extremely excited! My goal is to be working in an orthodontist office or assisting an oral surgeon. Not only am I doing this for the financial benefit of our family, I'm doing this for ME. I told myself (and Weenie) that when I DO decide to go back to work, I would not enter the work force without having a diploma/certification/degree in hand. For now, I'm doing the 9 month program. Once I'm done with that and obtain a job, I plan on continuing my schooling towards obtaining my degree in applied science.

So, there you have it. Many GOOD changes (much needed changes) are happening in our lives! If you all could keep Triscuit and Toblerone in your thoughts and prayers, I would appreciate it. They both are aware I will be going back to school, but once I actually begin, it's going to be a huge change for them to accept.

Good Lord, Can We Slow DOWN, Please?

2009-12-05T10:14:00.000-08:00

I haven't forgotten about my blog...seriously. It's just that life has become even crazier than before (I didn't think that was humanly possible). I've said this before, but as the boys age, life gets more and more hectic. Now that the holidays are approaching, QUICKLY I might add, our daily crazies have increased 7 fold. The boys are fighting more, Toblerone is whining more, Triscuit is spazing out more, and Mommy? Mommy is losing her hair.

Update on Triscuit

Triscuit is doing beautifully in school. He flew through his 2nd grade math in less than a semester. He has now officially been moved up to 3rd grade math. He received his books mid week last week and will be starting it on Monday. We also took him to an orthodontist to get evaluated for braces. He will be getting his braces put on next Wednesday (and yes, I will be posting pictures. I know...I'm so mean). Triscuit now stands at 4'4. I haven't weighed him in a while, but he's eating everything in sight. This morning he had 2 pop tarts and a muffin (the muffins we buy are HUGE). Two hours later, he's hungry again. It's awesome to see him eating so much! Each day that goes by, I see him maturing more and more in every way. His communication skills have greatly improved and he's not having meltdowns nearly as much as before. He'll have a few here and there, but that's only if he thinks he's going to fail at something. He's a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to certain aspects of his little life. Physically speaking, he's getting taller, his face is changing and he's becoming a "little man". I will be searching for an aluminum baseball bat soon. I'm going to need it to keep the girls away!

Update on Toblerone

Forget terrible two's. He didn't go through that...but he IS going through the impossible three's (or throttling three's). Forget trying to help him do anything. Mr. Independent will YELL at you if you even try to wipe his nose. He has suddenly lost his ability to hear right. If I say, "Toblerone! Stay out of Mommy's purse!" He hears, "TOBLERONE! Take everything out of Mommy's purse and spread it all over the house!" He will, deliberately, do the exact opposite of what you are asking/telling him to do. I know this is a phase, but it's an annoying one. Toblerone has, of course, grown too. He's currently standing at 3'11 and weighs 70 lbs. Yes my friends, he's huge! On a very positive note, he is fully potty trained! WOOT! No more diapers! And no, we will NOT be having anymore children (unless God unties my tubes, there isn't a chance in Hades).

One last thing before I go. We have had a change in our dog family. We have officially adopted my sister's dog, Eddie. She (yes, Eddie is a she) is part Chihuahua, part Jack Russell and part little booger. She's a puppy (9 or 10 months old), so Weenie and I have training to put her through. Even though Toblerone is potty trained, my mad skills at helping potty train are still needed (Drat). She's a really good little doggy, but must learn her place. Our 12 year old Pomeranian, Bear, isn't too happy about our addition. He's such an old fart who is stuck in his ways. He isn't thrilled with her puppy-esque enthusiasm, either. He'll often grunt and growl, mean-mug and bare his teeth at her. It's quite funny to watch, yet pathetic at the same time.

Here she is...Eddie.

She looks like a Fennec Fox, doesn't she?

Stitches Are NO Fun!

2009-10-16T11:36:00.000-07:00

While making dinner last evening (10/15/09), I was watching the boys play outside through the kitchen window. Triscuit had this (pretending it was a hockey stick),

while Toblerone was riding his scooter. Obviously, this looked like WAY more fun to Toblerone, so he hopped off of his scooter and went running up to Triscuit....at the wrong time. I looked up from grilling my lemon pepper chicken just in time to see Triscuit highstick it and smack Toblerone right in the mouth. The following ensued:

Triscuit: "MOOOOM!!!! It was an accident! It was an accident!!! I swear, it was an accident!"

Toblerone: *Wailing in the background and running around like he was in excruciating pain*

Mum: "Toblerone! Let me see!!!"

There was blood EVERYWHERE. Weird thing was, most of it was IN his mouth...not pouring out of the wound. I KNEW this was more than a normal hit. As soon as Triscuit saw the blood he completely melted down.

Triscuit: "MOOOM!!! HE'S BLEEDING! GET HIM A BAND-AID! MAKE IT STOP!"

Mum: "TRISCUIT! YOU HAVE TO CALM DOWN! The more YOU freak out the more your brother is going to freak out...PLEASE stop screaming!"

Triscuit then disappeared and hid. Poor Triscuit. I couldn't consul him at that moment...I had to get Toblerone inside to assess the damage. When I got the bleeding to subside, I looked and saw THROUGH his lip to his gums and teeth! Crap...this is definitely going to warrant a trip to Urgent Care.

We reach Urgent Care at 5:30pm. There are 3 people waiting and ALL of them are coughing WITH fevers. GRR! I check in and 20 minutes later, he's called back for the initial nurse check.

Nurse: "Step on the scale, honey...we need to see how big you are."

Mum: *Snicker*

Nurse: "Whoa! 66.4lbs! You're a BIG boy! How tall is he, Mom?"

Mum: "3 foot 10 as of last week."

Nurse: "And he's THREE?"

Mum: *Sigh*..."Yes"

Then she starts asking questions...

Nurse: "How did this happen?"

Toblerone: "Tithtan bit me."

Nurse: "What honey? He bit you?"

Mum: "No...his older brother was playing hockey with a hollow metal tube that had plastic ends on it. He highsticked it at the wrong time and he smacked Toblerone in the mouth."

She looked at me...HORRIFIED. She had this condemning look on her face as if to say, "And just HOW did he get a hold of a metal tube?" I just had to brush it off...I wasn't going to feel any worse than I already did.

Nurse: "OK...there is a 90 minute wait before he is seen by the doctor."

Mum: "What? There are 3 people out there! If that's the case, I want to wait outside. There are way too many people out there that are coughing with fevers. I don't want to expose him to something while we are waiting for him to get stitched up."

Nurse: "That's wise. We will come outside and get you when he's ready to be seen."

We go outside and wait. And wait and wait and wait. An hour goes by. Then another hour. Finally, he's called back. We are taken to a procedure room with all sorts of cool things a 3 year old could get into! Gauze, tongue depressors, syringes (w/o the needles), and cotton balls. Toblerone was in HEAVEN.

Toblerone: "Whath thith?"

Mum: "Cotton Balls."

Toblerone: "Why thothe there?"

Mum: "To clean owies."

Toblerone: "Whath thith?"

Mum: "Sticks to hold down your tongue so the doctor can see down your throat."

Toblerone: "Why?"

Mum: "Just in case they have to check your throat for sores or something honey."

Toblerone: "Why?"

OK...I could go on with this little conversation for PAGES and PAGES, but I'll stop there. Eight o-clock rolls around and the doctor FINALLY comes in to see Toblerone.

Doc: "So...you got hit with something, huh big guy?"

Toblerone: "Yeth. Tithtan bit me."

Doc: "What? He bit you?"

Mum: "No. His older brother was playing "hockey" with a metal tube...DON'T ask me WHERE he found it...but he did. He highsticked it and WHAM...hit Toblerone in the mouth."

Doctor: *addressing me* I have three boys...I know what it's like to wonder HOW things happen and just WHERE they find the tools to hurt one another...accident or not. It's a part of life, Mom. No worries...he'll be just fine.

Doctor: *addressing Toblerone* "He's your EX-brother now, huh? Hahahah!!! Just kidding! OK...let me take a look."

He takes out his little pen light and looks at the wound (which looked like this, by the way):

(Gruesome, I know)

Doctor: "Wow...that goes all the way through! Let me check his teeth and gums."

He pulls out a tongue depressor. The SECOND that thing hit Toblerones tongue...the gagging starts.

Doctor: "Eh oh...we have a gagger. Just one more look honey..."

Toblerone: *BIG gag*

Doctor: "OK. Here's the plan of action. I'm going to have to put him on Keflex (Cephalexin) for 7 days since the wound is on/in his mouth and there is a high risk of infection. I'm going to put a topical anesthetic on it so the S-H-O-T won't hurt as bad. I have to warn you...this is going to be a rather emotionally draining experience...so I need your help as much as possible. I have to put 4-5 stitches in his lip. We're going to have to use a "papoose board" to hold him down, so if you could explain to him what that is and what is going to happen, it will help greatly."

Mum: "...I'll do my best."

I'm thinking to myself..."What the H-E-double hockey sticks do you want me to tell him???" But...being that I'm his Mom, I needed to soften the blow and explain what was going to happen so he's not freaked out at the get-go. I decide to take Toblerone on a tour of the room. Thank GOD I have worked in the medical field and have been to the ER enough to know what everything is. I found the papoose board and told him what that was used for. I showed him the thread that was going to be used to stitch up the hole and showed him the cover they were going to put over his face so things would stay clean. He understood...as well as a 3 year old could.

Around 9:00pm is when the real fun began. Toblerone was just fine laying on the table...and even went through 2 papoose boards with no problem (the first one, designed for toddlers, was of course, too small). Then...the needle came out.

Doctor: "Mom...you're going to have to hold his legs...this isn't going to feel good."

I'm holding his legs down...but even I forgot just how strong he was! OOF! He KICKS me in the stomach.

Doctor: "MOM!! You're going to have to put your whole body weight on him....he's a strong one!"

I wanted so badly to scream, "DUH!" but I was still trying to catch my breath from being kicked.

In the meantime, Toblerone is SCREAMING his head off saying, "MAMA!!! It hurts! It hurts! Make him stop! STOP, STOP, STOP!!!" It's so hard to hear your child say those words and not be able to make it better.

What seemed like forever was only 15 minutes of torture. The doc did a bang up job! Don't you agree?

As soon as that doctor said "All done", Toblerone hopped off that table got his shoes on and RAN out the door....not even WAITING for me! After getting Toblerone back into the room, the doctor said the following.

Doctor: "Toblerone...you were a BIG boy for us! Thank you for doing your best and being so brave!"

Toblerone: *gives the doctor the evil eye, then looks at me* "Mama? Leth go...I hungry."

Doctor: "Well...I guess that's that! Hahaha! Mom...you did good, too. With you being a mom to two boys, I'm glad you can stomach these things without too much trouble. You're going to face these kinds of things on various occasions. Just remember, boys will be boys. You can teach them to watch out for others and to be careful, but accidents happen. I hope your oldest isn't too upset. (If he only knew how upset Triscuit really was. Come to find out, he cried on and off the whole time we were gone.)"

After Toblerone drags me out of the Urgent Care office, we head out to Walgreens to get his prescription filled. When we walked in, there was a rather large (tall) African American guy talking on his cell phone to someone while trying to pick out a vitamin. He smiled at us as we walked by. I gave the pharmacist the script for the med and then walked to get Toblerone a chocolate milk. I turn around and the same guy had followed me to the drink coolers.

Guy: "Can I ask you something?"

Mum: "Sure!"

Guy: "How old is your son?"

Mum: "He's turned 3 last June"

Guy: "Ahhh...I thought so. You realize he's going to be a big boy, don't you?"

Mum: "Yes." At this point, I proceeded to explain Weenie's genetic history and how he has 6'8er's way back in the geneology.

Guy: "He may be bigger than that. My nephew was a little smaller than he (Toblerone) was at 3. He's now 7 ft tall and weighs 270lbs."

Mum: Well, at last height calculation, it says he will be 7'2."

Guy: "I believe it. Get him into sports now....he's built for it. Oh...and good luck!"

Hmmm....I wonder what he meant by good luck? I know I've said this before, but should I start body building now to keep up with him? Honestly...how do you parent a child that is going to be a foot and a half taller than you??? Seriously! Leave a comment...because I'm open for suggestions!

Now that all is said and done, I can (from experience) say stitches are no fun...for either child or parent. A little advice to other mom's reading this. Unless you are an emotional Hercules, try to take your significant other or another adult with you if you have to get stitches for your little ones. It's emotionally draining...and in MY case...it was physically draining, as well!

Santa's Not REAL???

2009-09-21T10:05:00.000-07:00

Each parent/set of parents are different when it comes to Santa Claus. Some parental units don't want their kids to believe in Santa...because it takes away from the true meaning of Christmas...Jesus' birth. Some parental units allow the belief in Santa as well as teaching that Jesus is the real reason for Christmas.

This issue was a small source of contention between Weenie and I when Triscuit was smaller. Weenie didn't want Triscuit to focus on Santa...he wanted Triscuit to understand WHY we celebrate Christmas, and Santa wasn't it. But, because I wasn't allowed to believe in Santa Claus when I was little, I felt I missed out on all the fun. When I was smaller, I remember laying awake on Christmas Eve listening to every noise...just HOPING to hear a sleigh bell or a "thump" on the roof. I even remember looking out my window up towards the sky to see if I could catch Santa's sleigh flying over the house. I wanted SO badly to prove my parents wrong! As I grew older, I understood why my parents did what they did. I understood the point. But, when I finally became a mom, I realized that I had a VERY valid point, too. Your children get just ONE shot at childhood. Santa represents love, goodwill, giving and teaches youngsters to be on their best behavior! Santa is a part of growing up. So, let your kids be kids and have fun! With a little explaining and persuading, Weenie caved in. We started the Santa ritual when Triscuit was about 3 and oh, how we had fun with it! This past year had to have been the best one. Weenie had gone out and bought a bunch of Transformers action figures. He got them out of the package and set them up on the living room floor, as if they were having a battle. It was GREAT! Triscuit came down all wide eyed and excited! Just as I had hoped, he had lied awake for a while on Christmas Eve...listening for noises and questioning how Santa was going to get into the house, since we didn't have a fireplace.

Unfortunately, as with every child, they grow up (and too quickly). Weenie has been wanting to tell Triscuit for the past few months about Santa's mortality. Because I'm the typical mother, I wanted just ONE more year. To tell a child that Santa isn't real is forcing us mom's to come face to face with the realization that our children are growing up. I kept putting Weenie off, telling him, "Let me think about the best way to tell him", just hoping Weenie would get the fact I didn't want to let Santa go. Well, our niece B-Boo accidentally let the cat out of the bag.

While the kids were out back playing last evening, the conversation turned to Santa. B-Boo told Triscuit that Santa was a myth. And, as you can probably guess, Triscuit was rather upset. He came in from outside and said,

Triscuit - *Tears in his eyes* "Mooom! B-Boo said Santa was a myth!"

Mum - "Uhhh...Weenie?!?! You need to have a talk with Triscuit."

Weenie - "About what?"

Mum - "Santa."

Weenie gets this rather pleased look on his face, grabs Triscuit and takes him outside to talk to him. Apparently things went better than I had hoped. Weenie comes in from outside LAUGHING.

Mum - "Did everything go OK? Why are you laughing?"

Weenie - "Oh yeah. He understood. You want to know what his main concern was?"

Mum - "What?"

Weenie - "While explaining to him that you and I are really Santa, he said, 'Then, can YOU guys get me the toys I want?'"

I think Triscuit was ready to let Santa go (even if Mommy wasn't)....just as long as he still gets the loot. TYPICAL KID!

Hey...at least I still have Toblerone. I just need to make sure Triscuit gets caught up in the fun of playing Santa. This year, I'll be taking Triscuit out Christmas shopping...just the two of us. I'll let him pick out the toys for Toblerone, let HIM set up the toys in the living room, stuff the stockings and write the note from "Santa". Hopefully, Triscuit won't be naughty and tell Toblerone too early. I think letting Triscuit do this for his little brother will help ensure he does the same for HIS kids when he grows up.

My Butt'th Bwoken!

2009-08-31T10:15:00.000-07:00

Some of my readers know that I'm still struggling with Toblerone to potty train. I have tried many things and am starting to think that maybe he just isn't ready yet...OR he's just too busy to take the time to try. Nevertheless, I keep trying. After all, he's 3 feet 9 1/2 inches tall now, 60lbs and we can't find diapers in his size...what choice do I have???? At this point, I have 3 choices:

A) Use "Goodnights" as pull-ups.
B) Use underwear and cloth diapers
C) Let him run around naked

I've tried option A and can't afford to buy those suckers every week. We're currently doing option B and I've tried option C a few times. But there's a problem with option C. It's messy and Toblerone HATES to be naked. The first time I tried him all-natural, he cried for 5 minutes and kept following me around with a Goodnight pull-up BEGGING me to help him put it on. The second time I refused to put clothes on him....THIS happened:

Toblerone: *Feeling vulnerable, he runs and grabs a pull-up* "Mama...help! Don't like being naked."

Mum: "Sorry Toblerone, but you need to go in the big boy potty."

Toblerone: "No. Don't like it."

Mum: "Well, you need to learn, honey. You're a big boy now. Big boys go in the potty."

Toblerone gets a thoughtful look on his face. Here, I'm thinking he's actually pondering what I'm saying. Nope....next thing I know, there's a puddle of pee on the floor. At least I know what his "pee face" looks like now.

Mum: "Toblerone....you NEED to use the potty!!!"

Toblerone says he's sorry then holds the pull up to me. Again, I refuse. He trots off to go play. Not even one minute later, he comes back holding his butt.

Toblerone: "Mama...I got hole."

Mum: *trying to keep it together* "Yes honey. We ALL have holes."

Toblerone then discovers his butt HAS A CRACK. He get's this really worried look on his face and says:

Toblerone: "My butt'th BWOKEN!"

OK...I couldn't keep it together anymore. I LOST it! I was laughing SOOO hard! Toblerone didn't think it was funny....

Toblerone: "Mama!!! My butt....it'th BWOKEN!!! NO LAUGH!"

I compose myself and try and explain to him that EVERYONE has a crack. God gave us ALL cracks...if we didn't have a crack in our butt, we would have one BIG butt cheek and that would look silly (I tried to keep the explanation on HIS level). Then, he started going through EVERYONE we know...

Toblerone: "Witha (Melissa) hath crack? Bewa (Bella)? Hayden? Daddy? Triscuit? Fenther (Spencer)?"

Mum: "Yes, Toblerone...EVERYONE has a crack."

This seemed to calm him down and believe it or not, we have a successful potty training afternoon (yay). Then DADDY comes home.

Weenie walks through the door. I ask Toblerone to tell Weenie what's wrong with his butt.

Toblerone: *walks up to Weenie, turns around and pats his butt* "Daddy...my butt bwoken. Mama tell me Witha, Bewa and Triscuit'th butt bwoken, too!"

Forget trying to keep my laugh lines and crows feet at bay. It's not possible with what my children come up with. The innocence of Toblerone's wonderment is just fantastic! For these moments, I'm willing to live with my laugh lines!

Sarcasm Runs in the Family. Imagine That.

2009-08-19T16:25:00.001-07:00

Triscuit has come out with some good ones lately. You already know about the first few days of school and how he ever-so-knowingly shoved in my face that "He KNEW how to do it (math)". Well, it only gets better.

We have the "School Triscuit"....one who has matured greatly this summer. Yes, he's doing fantastic (Thank you God), but one thing I wasn't expecting with that maturity was him coming into his new found personality....Sir Sarcasm. Imagine I'm teaching Triscuit something in Language Arts (otherwise known as "English").

Mum: (Reading a passage from a book called "Clara and the Bookwagon". Mind you, Triscuit has already read the book silently) "What was the main character's name?"

Triscuit: "Seriously?"

Mum: "Yes, Triscuit. These are the questions...just answer it, please."

Triscuit: "Clara"

Mum: "Thank you. Next question...Where did the story take place?"

Triscuit: *rolls eyes*..."On a farm in Maine"

Mum: "Triscuit...mind your attitude please."

Triscuit: "Sorry Mama, but these questions are easy."

Mum: "Good...that just means you understood what you read. Next question. What did Clara want to do?"

Triscuit: "Read"

Mum: "What was her father's attitude towards her wanting to read?"

Triscuit: "He didn't want her to...which is MEAN."

Mum: (Trying to keep a straight face). "Why do you think he was mean?"

Triscuit: "Just because HE couldn't read doesn't mean SHE can't learn!"

Mum: "I know...but that's how things were back then. Work was more important than education."

Triscuit: "Whatever."

I know you all are probably laughing right now, but keeping the Mommy and Teacher separate is REALLY hard. I wanted to laugh too, but I couldn't. WAIT...it gets better. I was teaching History today (the lesson was an introduction to Julius Caesar). Of course, after every lesson there are assessment questions (little quizzes...just to make sure he understood the lesson).

Mum: "Who did we learn about today?"

Triscuit: "Julius Caesar."

Mum: "What kind of person was Julius Caesar?"

Triscuit: "Ummm...nice? *Mumbles* "I don't know...I didn't know him."

OK...At this point I wanted to laugh. But of course, I couldn't.

Mum: "Triscuit. Answer the question with a SERIOUS answer...."

Triscuit: *shoots me an unknowing glance*..."Nice? Hero? Smart? Knew how to fight?"

Mum: "See? That wasn't so hard. Just answer it and move on."

These little things are happening all the time. He thinks it's funny and knows how to carry it off without being too obvious that he KNOWS what he's doing.

Now...on to "Brother Triscuit". I know that sibling rivalry is normal. I also know that because there is a 5 year difference between the two, things can get a little hairy. I half expect Triscuit to understand that Toblerone is only 3. But, he doesn't. He's getting to the point where he "gets it", but he's not quite there. Understand that things are waaaay different with Triscuit now. His room is off limits to his brother and often keeps the door locked (we encourage this...Toblerone has been known to completely destroy Triscuits room within minutes). While playing the other day, Toblerone (who also has become ornery) decides he's going to snatch a toy from Triscuits room and run (Triscuit forgot to lock his door). Toberlone BOLTS upstairs...obviously knowing what he was going for, snatches a Bionicle and RUNS for his life!

Triscuit: "TOBLERONE!!! THAT'S MY BIOLICLE!!! GIVE IT BACK!"

Toblerone: *Squealing with laughter and pure orneriness* ..."HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

Triscuit: *Goes to smack his brother*

Mum: "TRISCUIT! Don't even THINK about it!"

Triscuit: "But MOOOOM! He went to my room and TOOK my Bionicle! He won't give it BACK!"

Mum: "Did you lock your door?"

Triscuit: "No...I forgot...BUT...!"

Mum: "Toberlone...give it to Mama."

Toblerone: *Reluctantly gives it over*

Mum: "Toblerone...go say you're sorry to Triscuit."

Toblerone does as he's told, sits in time out for 3 minutes, and runs off to create more havoc somewhere else.

Mum: *Handing the Bionicle over to Triscuit* "Triscuit...remember, Toblerone is only 3."

Triscuit: "That's no excuse."

Mum: "What?"

Triscuit: "He knew what he was doing...why didn't you spank him? Why didn't you ground him?"

Mum: "He's not old enough to understand "grounding" and his actions don't require a spanking. (my kids only get spanked when it's a SERIOUS offense). A time out and an apology worked just fine, Triscuit."

Triscuit: "It's not FAIR! It's SOOOOO not fair!"

Mum: "Let Daddy and I decide what's fair and what's not. OK?"

Triscuit: "If he was MY kid, he'd be in BIG trouble."

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I wanted SO badly to say, "Come talk to me about that in about 20 years", but I didn't.

Then, there's the "Son Triscuit". Ooooh....THIS facade of Triscuit is getting REALLY mouthy. About a week ago, he almost lost his privileged to speak. Triscuit was brushing his teeth (and him being a typical boy, does a half-cocked job). The dentist asked me to go over his teeth after he's done brushing until he can understand how IMPORTANT it is to keep them clean (again, this is part of the ADHD thing). Here's the conversation.

Mum: "Triscuit...where did you put your toothbrush?"

Triscuit: *Glances in the direction of his toothbrush*

Mum: "Triscuit...answer me. Where is your toothbrush?"

Triscuit: *gives me a LOOK*

Mum: *I give him a LOOK back*

Triscuit: "It's right there. What? Did you think it was invisible?"

Oh no he didn't! My mouth dropped. LUCKILY, Weenie was there to hear it, too! We both just looked at each other...we were DUMBFOUNDED!

Weenie: "Where do you get off talking to your Mother like that????"

At this point, Triscuit knew he went from being funny to crossing the line.

Triscuit: "But Daddy...!"

Weenie: "That was RUDE and DISRESPECTFUL! Do you want soap now or later? Tell Mama you're sorry.....NOW."

Triscuit comes over and hugs me, says he's sorry and that he didn't mean to be rude. I KNOW this is going to happen again. After all...he IS my son and he comes by his sarcasm honestly. I just didn't expect it to be this early in life!

I'm BAAAAAACK!

2009-08-12T10:42:00.000-07:00

I guess I should have warned all of you that I was going to take the summer off. If was an impromptu decision. Basically, I needed to brain fart for a while (plus, it doesn't help that I'm addicted to Farmtown on Facebook). After last school year, the summer was a welcomed break. Fighting with Triscuit over school everyday was really wearing me out. Plus, having to keep Toblerone busy all the time during Triscuits schooling was also pretty tiring. The older Toblerone gets, the faster he gets bored. I was having to come up with new strategies everyday to keep him quiet and busy! But alas...I'm back...and we're back to school. *sigh*.

Triscuit began school again on August 3rd. If I remember correctly, I did inform you all that Triscuit was going to repeat 2nd grade. We have begun this process...and it's turning out to be excellent! The first day back is usually the hardest. Getting back into the routine can be rough...getting up, getting breakfast, taking his medication, having a bit of playtime (also allowing time for the medication to take effect) THEN buckling down. It was a little difficult, but not TOO bad. Then, the "blow away" began. The second day he started off with, "Mom, I want to start school". When he said that, I about fell over! So, instead of letting him have playtime, I got his math book out. He sat down, took his pencil out and looked at his lesson. I began to reteach the lesson (basic addition). He gives me this look:

and says:

Triscuit: "Mom...I KNOW how to do this."

Well...EXCUSE me! Usually, I would be upset with him taking this attitude with me...but I'll let this one slide. Triscuit finished 4 lessons in an hour! Then, we went on to Language arts. Mind you, THIS subject is NOT a repeat. Because he was always a year behind in Phonics and Language arts, we are now doing all work at grade level. He BLEW through an Aesop fable...he read it SILENTLY (which is a HUGE thing for him), answered ALL the questions correctly AND told me the moral of the story (without any help). He went on to read on his own, then practiced his handwriting for 30 minutes. Science was next. He was able to name all the scientific tools I showed him...again, with no help. I swear...it's like teaching a totally different child! It's AWESOME! If you think this happened just once, you're mistaken. This has happened EVERYDAY since. We are now on our 8th day of school...and it's the same. He would rather get school done and over with. He sits down, blows through his math in NO time flat...blows through his Language Arts with almost no problems (yesterday, he had a slight meltdown...but that was only because after he read a story, they asked some "critical thinking" questions...something he isn't used to), then blows through History and Science. He is really amazing me!!!! The whole purpose of him repeating his 2nd grade year was because, honestly, I didn't think he retained that much last year and he didn't complete all required lessons to continue on to 3rd grade. With all the problems he had sitting still, focusing, listening, reading...ANYTHING that required concentration, it just didn't seem he learned much. BOY...was I WRONG! YES...I said it...and I will say it again...I WAS WRONG (mark that on your calendar...because I won't admit it again for a while)!!!

So, that's what life is like right now. Back to the school grindstone....all I have to do is figure out what to do with Toblerone. HE'S a whole other post I will try and get to later today!

Thank you to those who were kind enough to ask "Where the heck I went". I appreciate the fact you guys care! Oh...and I promise the next post will be WAAAY funnier!

Sigh....Not Even Three and The Questions Start...

2009-05-08T14:05:00.001-07:00

Before I get to my Imperial Beach post (yes, I know I'm late, but we had a family emergency that came up), I HAVE to put this little gem up first.

I'm finding it increasingly difficult to do your everyday tasks without being interrupted by a certain Toblerone. Whether it be the daily constitutional, the hourly trip to the bathroom for tinkle time, or taking a shower....he's ALWAYS there....lurking. It doesn't matter if I lock the door or not, he will sit outside the bathroom and either pound on the door because he wants to flush the toilet for you, OR he will lay on the floor looking under the crack of the door. THOSE conversations are always interesting....

Toblerone: "Mama? What doin'?"

Mum: "I'm going potty honey. Go upstairs."

Toblerone: "Mama...Toblerone fwush toiwet."

It never fails...the SAME conversation.

When I take showers while Weenie isn't home, (I try and do showers while he's here) I have to keep the door open and conversation engaged with Toblerone, otherwise, the little tornado destroys everything that isn't kept above reach. Because I'm a modest person, I try to grab the towel before I get out of the shower so he doesn't see any girly parts.

While taking a shower a few days ago, I did the usual....engaged Toblerone in conversation (usually answering questions about what I'm doing in there). BUT....I made a HUGE mistake. I didn't tie the towel tight enough around me when I got out...and WHOOPS! Down it falls. Thinking to myself, "He's not even 3 yet, he won't notice anything different." Ohhh....how wrong I was. Obviously, I didn't pull the towel up fast enough, because THIS look crossed his face....

And out of his little mouth, pops this question.....

Toblerone: "Mama? Where'd Mama's Pee Pee go?"

Thinking to myself..."Surely, he's talking about me going to the bathroom..."

Mum: "Mommy doesn't have to go potty right now, honey."

Toblerone: (pointing with his little chubby finger).."No...Mama's pee pee...Bwoken?"

Oh my....he WAS talking about that. The look on my face must of been priceless. I imagine something along this line....

I HAVE to think of something better than tying a towel around me, because I CERTAINLY can't start locking the bathroom door when Weenie isn't home.

Maybe for Mother's Day, I should request a terry cloth robe (oh, how sexy).

Happy (Belated) Easter!

2009-04-13T13:06:00.000-07:00

I FINALLY figured out the video option on my new camera I got for Christmas....JUST in time for Easter! WOOT!

The first video is of Triscuit and Toblerone after their Easter Egg hunt. Since it was my first attempt at video-ing, it's a little off center.

The second video is Triscuit giving a short (yet sweet) reason for Easter. His FIRST answer (in the car on the way up north to my parents house) was "to find eggs". We had to remind him of the REAL reason. Then, he says hello to his 2 Great Grandma's in Nebraska. He didn't realize he was being videoed until I told him. Check out the face after I tell him. LOL!!!

The third video is of Toblerone. I tried to get him to talk during this one, but he was really only interesting in stuffing his face (I shouldn't have let him eat that much candy...you'll read why in a minute).

As SOON as I shut the camera off, he decided to talk more. I quickly turned it back on and caught a few snippets of him talking about what he had and where we were.

About 2 hours after the snarfing video was taken, he woke up rather abruptly from his nap (he fell asleep on ME) CRYING, then "FREW UP" all over. Guess where it ended up? Yup...all over me. I was SOAKED with puke! My shirt was soaked, my pants were soaked, it went down my bra and in my hair! Thank God my Mom had kept some of my grandmother's clothes after she passed away last year. Minus a 9 inch height difference, we wore the same size. I ended up having to take a shower at my parents house. After that whole fiasco, I was done and ready to go home. After these past few weeks, I could go the rest of my life without seeing throw up. The Sister's birthday is this week and she wants to go back to Imperial Beach for her birthday. We will be leaving early Friday morning and returning on Sunday night. I'm ready for a break!

It was a REALLY good Easter. The kids had fun and we had a nice, relaxing day (up to the puke fest).

I hope you all had a wonderful Easter weekend!

Ith Thuck

2009-04-10T12:11:00.000-07:00

We are still working on potty training Toblerone. Because he's such a huge child, the potty chair quickly became too small to accommodate his rather large behind. The regular toilet frightens him, so we are stuck right now. Ren Ren found this on the Internet....I'm thinking seriously of talking to Weenie about it. It will save the questioning of the "fur" later in his little life....

What brought me to this subject (yet again)? Well, last night, while changing Toblerone's diaper, he looked at me and said:

Toblerone: "Mama...ith thuck"

Mum: "What's stuck?"

Toblerone: "Mama...Toblerone's pee pee thuck."

Mum: "No...your pee pee is supposed to be there. It doesn't come off, Luv."

Toblerone: "No...pee pee thuck. Pee pee off."

Mum: *laughing*.."Your pee pee doesn't come off, Toblerone."

Toblerone: *trying to pull his pee pee off*

Mum: "Toblerone! Leave it alone! You're going to hurt yourself!"

Toblerone: "Mama. Toblerone pee pee thuck...Daddy fithit (fix it)."

Whenever something gets broken or needs to be put together, Weenie is the handy man and hero to all that is needing help...plastic and flesh alike.

During this conversation between Toblerone and I, Weenie was putting together yet another Lego Star Wars ship at the dining room table. He looked up from his instruction manual with this look on his face.

Mum: "Yeah Daddy...Toblerone's pee pee "ith thuck". Daddy needs to "fithit".

Again, Weenie gives me this look.

Mum: "Little does he know that this is a valuable appendage."

He smiles, shakes his head and resumes Lego-ing. He's a man of little words...especially when he's fulfilling his Lego addiction.

Meanwhile, I put a new diaper on Toblerone and fully expect him to get up and run off. He just laid there....looking at me as if to say, "Well???"

Mum: "Toblerone....go play."

Toblerone: "Pee pee thuck."

OK....how many times do you have to say, "IT DOESN'T COME OFF!"

Mum: *Deciding to talk on HIS level* "Toblerone. Pee pee no off. Pee pee stay on."

Toblerone seemed to except my attempt at toddler speak and ran off.

The next thing I knew, he climbed up on the chair in the living room, then up on the arm of the chair, flapping his arms like a bird and saying:

Toblerone: "Toblerone fly! Toblerone AMATHING (amazing)!"

What do the two have in common? I have no clue, but one occured right after the other. What was going throught his mind? I don't know, but it was funny!

Frow Up!

2009-04-07T10:33:00.000-07:00

During this recent wave of sickness (which involved basic cold symptoms and a really nasty, juicy cough), Toblerone was coughing SO much that he was throwing up. While trying to calm his cough a few days ago, he gagged just enough to get a little of the "ick" inside of his mouth. This look of sheer disgust comes over his face (kind of like this...minus the hat):

Toblerone: "Toblerone no like."

Mum: "I know sweetie....I'm sorry"

Then, he completes the experience by actually throwing up...in his bed. Through tears, he says,

Toblerone: "Toblerone frow up. Toblerone no like frow up. Mommy change gankets (blankets)."

While I'm changing his sheets, I hear this "splash". Then, I hear another "splash". Yup...the poor kid threw up twice on his floor. Again, through tears, he says:

Toblerone: "Toblerone froooooow up! Toblerone no like frow up! Toblerone sowwy Mama!"

As gross as it is cleaning up puke at quarter to five in the morning, I don't want him to be sorry! He couldn't help it!

He's feeling better today...thank GOD. Still has a slight fever, but he's running around as usual asking for "joo-wes" (Juice).

INCOMING!!!!

2009-04-07T10:30:00.000-07:00

*sigh*....We have survived yet another wave of sickness that barrelled through the household. Triscuit got it first, then Toblerone....now MUM is fighting it. Oh well. Such is life!

DADA!! A BUGGY!!!

2009-03-26T15:57:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen these?

They're "Crane Flies". We refer to them as "Mosquito Eaters". They are HUGE mosquito-like bugs...but they feed on nectar. These suckers are ALL OVER the place right now. Toblerone has a fear of bugs...and especially these things. I don't know why...it's not like they can hurt him, but HE doesn't know that!

Because it's been so nice here, I was working in the yard and left the back door open. Little did I know, I let about 5 of these things in the house. I didn't realize this until it was time for their baths. Because Toblerone is so big and strong, I have to have Weenie give him a bath. He freaks out when you pour water over his head. He flails about and it takes every ounce of strength to keep him IN the bathtub! Well, this particular evening, Weenie put them in the tub for them to play for a while. While bringing his diaper downstairs to dispose of, we heard Toblerone SCREAM a blood curdling scream then we hear:

*Squeak* *THUD THUD THUD*

The next thing we know, there is a wet, stark naked child stomping around upstairs saying:

Toblerone: "DADA!!! A BUGGY!!! GET IT! GET IT!!!!"

We were BOTH cracking up SO hard! Weenie, being the hero that he is, grabbed the thing by the wings and set it free outside. We managed to calm him down enough for him to get BACK into the bathtub. Again, Weenie steps away for a second to let them play, when we hear it again....

*SQUEAK*....*THUD THUD THUD*

Toblerone: "DADA!!! BUGGY!!!!! GET IT!!!!"

Weenie runs back upstairs, but THIS time, no bug. BUT...we spy a Triscuit in the bathtub LAUGHING his head off.

We calm Toblerone down again and put him BACK in the tub. THIS time, Weenie stays there. Then, Triscuit does this...."

Triscuit: "Toblerone! Is that a BUG???"

Toblerone doesn't even stop to LOOK. He starts SHRIEKING again and cries:

Toblerone: "DADA!!! BUGGY!!!!" All the while trying to scramble out of the bathtub.

Ahhh....we found the culprit. An annoying Triscuit fly that likes to scare the crap out of his little brother.

Stinker!

The Continuing Saga Of Sir Spaz-A-Lot

2009-03-26T14:36:00.000-07:00

I took Triscuit back to the behavioral specialist a little over a week ago. Things are better regarding his attention span/focus, but towards the 3rd week of him beginning his medication, I noticed it wearing off 4 hours after he took it. Since it takes about an hour for it to kick in, he only had 3 hours of focal ability. That wasn't working...considering he would only get a few hours of schooling in before he started jumping around like someone was putting coals down his pants. His behavioral specialist increased his dosage from 5mg (the lowest) to 10mg per day. The concern is now his weight. The kid is shaped JUST like Weenie. Tall/Lanky and skinny! He really couldn't afford to lose any weight, but he did. He lost 3 pounds. When they lose 10% of their body weight, the docs start getting concerned. He only had 2 and 1/2 pounds to go before that 10% benchmark was reached. The decision was made to put him on a high fat/high calorie diet along with an increased amount of the med. Triscuit gets a milkshake LOADED with junk right before he goes to bed. Whole milk, Vanilla Ice Cream, Chocolate Syrup, a packet of Carnation Instant Breakfast and a few scoops of peanut butter. Blend together and you have a chocolate peanut butter shake! She instructed us to give it to him right before bed. Not only with the Tryptophane in the dairy help him sleep, the full tummy will, too. Along with the decreased appetite, he was having problems falling asleep again. Good thing he had Spring Break the week the increase in med started.

He couldn't fall asleep until after 11:00pm...and a few nights after 1:00am. Then, he would wake up at 6:00am raring to go! A few hours later, he would be really tired. I don't know many adults who could handle getting only 5 hours of sleep and be happy...so what follows is extreme crankiness. Of course, when he gets cranky, he takes it out on Toblerone. The ONE thing Triscuit hasn't gotten through his head is Toblerone is almost his size...as a matter of fact, there is only a 2 pound difference between the two of them now. Triscuit is 56 (almost 57) pounds and Toblerone is 54 pounds. I don't know how many times Weenie and I have to tell Triscuit..."DO NOT TAKE YOUR FRUSTRATIONS OUT ON YOUR LITTLE BROTHER". But does he listen? No....of course not! So, what follows is this....

Triscuit: "Toblerone! Move your head! I can't see!"

Toblerone: "NO! Triscuit take a nap!"

Triscuit: "NO! YOU take a nap!"

Toblerone: *runs over to Triscuit and hits him*

Triscuit: *screams* "OW!!!!!!!!! MOOOOOM! He hit me!!!!"

Mum: *spanks Toblerone for hitting and puts him on the couch*...."Now...Triscuit! How many times do we have to tell you to be NICE to your little brother!"

Triscuit: "But Moooom! He's in my way and he won't move!"

Mum: "If you don't change your attitude, you're going to go take a nap."

OH BOY! You would have thought I crushed his world. Oh no! I said the "N" word to a 7 year old....

Triscuit: *begins WAILING*..."NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I don't wanna take a naaaaaaaap!"

At this point, I try and explain to him what the medication is doing to him and how IMPORTANT it is for him to get some sleep. Needless to say, it doesn't work.

Mum: "If I catch you ONE more time being mean and talking to your brother like that, you WILL go to bed. Now...repeat what I just said to you."

Triscuit: "Be nice or I will go take a nap."

Not even an hour later, it all starts again. Toblerone wanted to sit next to Triscuit and watch "Beverly Hills Chihuahua". Triscuit wasn't having it.

Triscuit: "No Toblerone! Get down!"

Toblerone: *gives him a confused look*

Triscuit: "I want to be by myself! Leave me alone!"

Toblerone: *sensing Triscuits hostility begins to react in a normal 2 year old fashion* "NO! Triscuit MEEEEAAAAN! *SMACK*

Mum: *sigh*

I stop doing dishes and break up the fight. Toblerone got spanked...yet again...while I sent Triscuit to his room for a nap. On his way up the stairs I hear....

Triscuit: "You don't love me! You don't want me around!"

WHOA! Where did THAT come from???? It made me feel bad but it also made me MAD. I understand that he's not in his right mind because he's tired and not eating a whole lot, but COME on! That was a LOW blow!

I follow him upstairs and while remaining calm, explain to him...YET AGAIN...that I told him ONCE to be nice to his brother. I reminded him of what the agreement was...if he was mean again, he would be taking a nap. He understood the "nap" thing, but here was his statement....

Triscuit: "You always send me away when I'm in trouble. You just don't want me around. You love Toblerone MORE than me!"

Ouch. That hurt. NO mother wants to hear those words. So, I tried to explain to him WHY he gets sent to his room. Not only to calm down, but to separate the TWO of them. They BOTH needed to cool off. I also explained that NO...I DO NOT love Toblerone more than him. I love them BOTH. There is enough "Mommy" to go around. I punish Toblerone in a way he can understand and then punish Triscuit in the way HE understands. I am not "wanting" him to be away from me, but instead, wanting him to think about what he did. My explanation seemed to calm things down....for now, anyway.

One of the things I've noticed since he's been on this medication is he's becoming more in tuned to his emotions. Instead of just crying when he feels an overwhelming wave of emotion, he's starting to express them with words. He seems to be a LOT more sensitive now when it comes to specific things (like the whole "you don't love me" thing). I am SO happy that he's able to recognize his feelings and express them appropriately, but imagine how HE feels. All those years of not really being able to express himself...then all of the sudden...BOOM! I don't know if it's a relief for him or more of a frustration. Only time will tell. I will be talking to his behavioral specialist about this at the end of the week. Hopefully, it's a positive thing and not just a side effect from the med.

Anal Retentive? Who....ME???

2009-03-26T14:31:00.000-07:00

OK OK....I know....stop yelling at me. I've been absent, yet again, but I have resolved to catch up on my blogging duties.

Ever since Toblerone got sick, I've caught the cleaning bug. I've been using Pine-Sol in laundry, disinfecting bathrooms (hurp hurp), anally cleaning the kitchen every time there are dishes, etc..etc. Need I go on? I feel as though I'm "nesting" (minus the bun in the oven, of course). And no...there is NO chance of that happening again. Having a Tubal Ligation was one of the better decisions I've made!!!!

So...on to my blogging. It may take me a few days to catch up, but I will get there!

Klutzy Much?

2009-02-27T20:35:00.001-08:00

Both boys have been EXTREMELY klutzy these past few weeks. I think I've kissed more boo boo's in the last few days than I have in a LONG time.

Triscuit has been tripping over his feet and bumping his head quite frequently. I thought "Hmm...maybe it's the medication that's thrown him off", until he put his pants on (the SAME pants we bought for him in December). It looked like he was expecting a flood! He's also been complaining that his shoes are hurting him (yup...we bought THOSE in December, too).

As for Toblerone...well, he's just clumsy because he's 2 and 1/2, but lately the klutziness has been a LITTLE more prevalent than usual. He's mastered the stairway, but tonight, he must have either miscalculated or twisted his ankle on the way down....THUD THUD THUD...SMACK! Right into the hallway door. A squeal, a breathless cry and wailing followed. Don't worry...he's alright. No boo boo's to kiss that time, although if I could have kissed his ego, it would have done a WORLD of good. Honestly, I think he hurt the door more than he hurt himself!

So...that got me pondering..."Is there something WRONG with my children?" The answer? Well, yes, because they have Weenie and I for parents, but that doesn't account (fully) for the uncoordination. AND...since Triscuit's pants would have suited him well during a flood, I thought I should measure them.

Ready for this?

Triscuit

Age: 7 years, 6 months.

Weight: 59 pounds

Height: 4'3 and 1/2 inches tall.

Toblerone

Age: 2 years, 7 months.

Weight: 52 pounds

Height: 3'7 and 1/2 inches tall.

TRISCUIT was a few inches taller than Toblerone at the age of 4!

We're in for it....

Now accepting canned goods and monetary donations to feed my beasts (Yes, I'm kidding).

A Harrowing Week

2009-02-25T11:13:00.000-08:00

Man. I think I'm ready for a mini Mommy vacation. Any takers? Here's what life has been like since my last post.

I have been working pretty hard with Triscuit, trying to get him situated on this medication. I'm still not super thrilled about the inability to sleep side effect from the Dexedrine, but at least he's able to sit still better and focus. He's actually beginning to notice that he's able to retain more. One example is, we started a lesson in magnets and magnetic fields in science. Over a weeks time, he was able to retain ALL of that information and breeze through his test on that chapter. He said, "MOMMY! I REMEMBER!" It was a moment I will not soon forget!!!

Now, here's where it gets harrowing. Toblerone came down with, what WE thought was a typical cold. He spent a whole day sneezing his poor little head off. The next day was OK, until he went to bed that night. Once he got into a deep sleep, he began coughing. It wasn't a cough that was irritating, but it was a barking, dry cough. When I went up to check on him, he was wheezing. Granted, Toblerone has had many colds in his 2 and 1/2 years of life, but NEVER wheezing. The next morning, it was more of the same...coughing and wheezing. Because I used to have severe asthma, I knew the signs of "struggling to breath", so I took him to the doctor around 10:00am that day. The doc took a quick look and said, "Well, he doesn't SOUND like he's wheezing, but I do suspect Croup". To be honest, I suspected it, too. He gave us the instructions to get a humidifier and keep him as calm as possible. Yeah...right. You try and keep a 2 and 1/2 year old calm!!! It's almost impossible! Around noon that same day, he was REALLY wheezing and only getting one word out at a time when he talked. I took him to the bathroom and put the shower on as hot as possible. We sat in the bathroom for a good 15-20 minutes reading books. That seemed to calm the coughing down a bit, but it didn't help the wheezing. Around 3:00pm, he threw up and the breathing was becoming increasingly worse. I called BACK to the doctors office where they instructed me to bring him in RIGHT away. Now, the situation takes a weird turn.

We arrive at the doctors office. They take us back to the room (all FOUR of us) where Dr. L comes in. We do the normal chit chat about what may be happening with Toblerone when he asks THIS question...

Dr. L: "Wasn't Triscuit sucking on something plastic earlier?"

Mum: "No. I am VERY aware of what my kids put in their mouths."

Dr. L: "I could have SWORN it was Triscuit that I saw sucking on a blue piece of plastic.". At this point, he turns to Triscuit and asks, "Triscuit? Do you remember sucking on that piece of plastic?"

Triscuit: "No. I don't."

Dr. L: *speaking in a rather frustrated tone..."It was just this morning. You SHOULD be able to remember."

Triscuit: "I don't remember."

Dr. L: "I suspect Toblerone may have sucked something down his windpipe and it's stuck. He still doesn't sound wheezy to me...but, we will go ahead and give him a breathing treatment to see if it works."

Now...have you EVER tried to give a breathing treatment to a toddler that has NO clue what is going on? Yeah...needless to say, Toblerone FREAKED out. He cried and screamed. It was a good thing Weenie was with me, because there was NO way I could have held his hands and arms away from his face AND keep him from running away! Because Toblerone was freaking out so bad, TRISCUIT was freaking out. I had to keep TRISCUIT away from the breathing machine. He made several attempts to turn it off. He kept saying, "Mommy!!! It's HURTING him! It's BURNING him! TURN IT OFF!!!!" Regardless of the countless explanations, Triscuit still had it in his head that Toblerone was being tortured. Because Toblerone threw SUCH a fit, the breathing treatment had NO effect on him whatsoever....and because of this, the doc now had it in his mind that Toblerone HAD sucked something down his throat. He sent us to Urgent Care for an X-Ray. We get to Urgent Care and the UC doc comes out, ALL apologetic, saying, "If it's not metal, it won't show up on an x-ray. Since Dr. L is SURE he sucked something down his throat, he needs to get a CT scan at the hospital."

I bet you're thinking, "What?" Yeah...that's what WE were thinking! Toblerone is old enough to tell me if he swallowed something he shouldn't have. He IS talking now and he's a VERY smart little boy. So, to be safe and not sorry, we head to the hospital.

We get to the hospital about 4:30pm. As with ANY hospital during cold and flu season, it was PACKED. Fortunately, we were set as priority 2 (not extremely urgent, but urgent enough). Regardless, we still sat there for 3 hours. All the while, Toblerone is coughing so much he's throwing up. They FINALLY have a room for us at quarter till 8:00pm. We get in the room and the doc comes in...

ER Doc: "So, can you tell me WHAT the heck is going on here?"

Mum: *looks at Weenie*..."Well, Toblerone was having problems breathing this morning. I took him to the doc where he tells us it's probably Croup. We head home, where Toblerone's breathing becomes increasingly worse. We head BACK to the docs office where he says that he suspects Toblerone had sucked a toy down his throat that said Doc THOUGHT he saw my oldest son with. We were told to get an x-ray. Then, we were told to come here for a CT scan, because plastic can't be seen on an x-ray. THAT'S why we are here."

ER Doc: "What?"

Mum: *rolls eyes*..."Yup. Can you PLEASE tell me what the heck is going on with my kid?"

ER Doc: *listens to Toblerone breathing*..."Ummm...yeah. He's wheezing! His pediatrician didn't HEAR this?"

Mum: "According to him, Toblerone wasn't wheezing...he was choking."

ER Doc: *A look of disgust comes over his face*..."We are going to give him 3 breathing treatments to polish him up. If THAT doesn't work, then we'll talk about the CT scan. I won't do a CT scan on him if YOU don't think he's sucked something down his throat. A CT scan is an equivalent of 200 x-rays....in other words, too much radiation...especially for child."

Here is where it gets FUNNY.

The respiratory therapist comes in and sets up his equipment. He walks over to Weenie (who is holding Toblerone) and hands him the apparatus for Toblerone to start "sucking on". As you can probably guess, Toblerone starts FREAKING out again. I mean, not just crying, but kicking and screaming to the point of turning red faced and sweating. The respiratory therapist just looked at Toblerone like he was crazy. He tries to get Toblerone to calm down, but the way he was talking to Toblerone was on a 5 year old level. I was thinking, "Surely, they look at the charts to see the patients ages before they talk to them". So, I say:

Mum: "Have you seen other kids his age act this way before?"

RT: "Not HIS size, no..."

At this point, I'm taking a wild guess and coming to the assumption that NO, HE DID NOT LOOK AT TOBLERONE'S AGE.

Mum: "What do you mean?"

RT: "Kids his age usually understand what's going on."

Mum: "He's only 2 and 1/2."

The look on this poor guys face was PRICELESS! It was a mix between shocked, sympathy and a bit of humiliation.

RT: "OH! Well, THAT explains A LOT! I was wondering why he was only giving me one word answers and throwing such a fit! For two and 1/2, yes...this behavior is completely normal!"

Mum: "I'm sorry. I guess I should have said something to you earlier. I figured you looked at his chart and saw his age."

RT: "No, I didn't. I can't BELIEVE he's only 2 and 1/2! He's HUGE!"

At that point, I believe we became the topic of the ER. We had nurses and assistants coming in looking at him saying, "So...he's only 2 and 1/2?" I'm thinking I need to get him a T-shirt with "I'm only 2 and 1/2...please TREAT me as such".

We finally get out of the Emergency Department around 11:00pm that evening (armed with an at home breathing machine and meds).

The next few days were good. Toblerone was requiring less and less of the breathing treatments and by Sunday, it looked like we were out of the woods....UNTIL that evening. He started getting pretty cranky and when I went to comfort him, he felt REALLY hot. I gave him some Tylenol and put him to bed. I had been sleeping with him since this all happened to make sure I stayed on top of the breathing issue. That evening he was SO restless, poor kid! Then, 5:00am rolls around. He sits straight up in bed, says something and starts PUKING. Good thing his tummy was empty, otherwise I would have been cleaning up puke for the next few hours. Because he was running a temp, my concern was maybe the bronchitis WASN'T viral....maybe it had turned bacterial. So, I call his pediatricians office to voice my concerns. Yup...they felt the same way. So, BACK to the pediatrician we go. Dr. L comes in and we do the usual chit chat of just WHAT may be ailing Toblerone THIS time.

Dr. L: "So, what did they diagnose him with at the hospital?"

Mum: "Croup and viral bronchitis."

Dr. L: "Oh. OK. And then this morning, Toblerone started throwing up, huh?"

Mum: "Yes. I thought since he was running a temp that maybe the bronchitis was bacterial."

Dr. L: "Well, let me listen to him."

He listens to Toblerone's chest (while Toblerone is yelling..."No...ALL DONE!") and says:

Dr. L: "He sounds pretty clear except for the gunk in his chest. If you were in the ER on Thursday and he came down with THIS today, my guess is he picked up the flu bug from the hospital. I'm going to give you a prescription for steroids that I want you to start administering as soon as Toblerone's tummy settles down. That should help with the remainder of the croup holding on and also help keep the breathing treatments away while he's coughing all that up."

So, we get the prescription filled and head back home. We TRY and get Toblerone to eat, but every time he smelled food, he would start gagging. This continues ALL day and into the night. The next day, he's eating a little, but his temperature was gradually rising. I tried to give him Tylenol, but he just gagged when he smelled it. Finally, the temp reached 103.4. I freaked! Again, I call the docs office. The nurse picks up...

NP: "What's happening with Toblerone?"

Mum: "We were just in there yesterday and Dr. L explained that he has now contracted the stomach flu. His temp is 103.4 and I can't get him to take any medication. At what point do I need to start freaking out and be REALLY worried?"

NP: *laughing*..."Toblerone will be just fine. Try your best to get that Tylenol down him. If all else fails, hold him down and squirt the med in his mouth with a medication syringe."

Mum: *laughing back*..."He's 52 pounds and 3'6 inches tall. That's going to be a LOAD of fun, let me tell you."

NP: "Really? Have you tried putting it in his juice or bribing him with a piece of candy?"

Mum: "Yup. I've tried all that. He tells me "Mommy...juice...yucky" and refuses to drink it. Then, he will throw a fit if I take the candy away. He just doesn't understand."

NP: "I guess you have no choice but to force it in his mouth. Plug his nose to make sure he swallows it. Good luck!!!"

The first time, he gagged, but didn't throw it up...so that was good. As his temp came down, he got more and more hungry.

Toblerone: "Mama...hungy. Burger."

Mum: "We don't have any burgers. Let me call Daddy to see if he will bring home burgers."

While I'm on the phone with Weenie, Toblerone lays down on the couch and falls asleep. Being the loving Daddy that Weenie is, he brought home burgers for the boys. Weenie goes over to Toblerone and says in a quiet tone:

Weenie: "Daddy brought you burger."

Toberlone didn't hear him at first, so Weenie repeats himself. Toblerone heard it the second time.

Toblerone: *sits straight up* "Dada...Burger?"

He's still not awake, but flies off the couch and stumbles over to the dining room table. I swear, I don't think Weenie and I have EVER seen him snarf down a burger so fast! Once he ate that and kept it down, we knew he was on the road to recovery.

So...that has been MY life these past few weeks!

Now...for that vacation. I want at least one day on the beach with a nice bottle of white wine....

SUCCESS!!!

2009-02-12T17:15:00.000-08:00

Now that Triscuit is on the medication, he is doing SO much better! I'm IMPRESSED!

The beginning of the week was a little difficult. The side effects from Dexedrine are headache, stomach ache (often them feeling full and not hungry at all) and sleeplessness. Triscuit had ALL of those, poor baby, but he stuck it out and is now doing much better. We saw an immediate difference in his ability to sit still. On Sunday, when we went to the in-laws, he sat down and played chess with one of his uncles. I don't think I've ever seen him sit still for longer than 20 minutes. He sat there for a good hour (I believe it may have been longer) and concentrated on the game! I was SO happy! But the real test was school. I wondered if it would carry over to the next day.

Monday came and I wasn't going to expect too much of him. He had only slept for about 5 hours the night before, so he tired out really easy. We got through about 2 and 1/2 hours of school before he actually ASKED me if he could take a nap (that's unheard of coming from Triscuit). Tuesday was a rough day because he had Scantron testing to complete. I had him take the reading portion first (the most difficult for him). He FREAKED! "But Mom, it's too long! I can't do this!" He WAS able to sit still, but again, because of his short attention span, he would get half way through the story and then do the questions. Needless to say, he got about 18 wrong out of 26 questions. Once he saw his score, he had a meltdown. It seemed like it took me forever to calm him down and explain to him what the purpose of the testing was. He wasn't happy. He actually said, "Mom...will Mrs. L still be proud of me?" (Mrs. L is his degreed teacher. He REALLY cares what she thinks). I had to assure him all would be fine. The second portion of the test was math. As soon as he hears the "M" word, he usually tries to argue his way OUT of doing it. This time was different. He sat down and did it...WITHOUT an argument. He was still trying to get me to help him, but after about the third time that I said, "No Triscuit...Mommy can't help you", he got it through his head. He got a 75% on that portion! Then, today, he sat down, focused on his work and got it DONE! I was SO happy and SO impressed with him! He seems to be trying a LOT harder, too!

Because he has been doing so well and trying so hard, Weenie went out and got him a new Lego set. He got the set about 45 minutes ago. He's been sitting there NOT moving and TOTALLY silent! It's just AMAZING to see such a night and day difference in the area of "spaziness".

I took a few pictures. He looked like such a grown up sitting at the table, concentrating on putting his Lego's together!

Then, as soon as Toblerone saw Triscuit sitting there working with his Lego's, TOBLERONE had to get in on the big boy action, too!

I have faith that this won't be the ONLY week Triscuit will do well, but regardless, I will keep you all posted!

Again, I want to thank those of you who have been there for us! MUCH appreciated!!!

And We FINALLY Have Answers!!!

2009-02-06T18:05:00.000-08:00

The waiting, the anxiety, the dreading of the appointment today....ALL OVER! And we have ANSWERS! I'm so happy right now, I could kiss a monkey (I know...completely random).

Most of you know I was really worried and apprehensive about the testing. I didn't know what to expect. I was told "Neurological testing". They didn't tell me what kind. If any of you have ever googled a random subject, it seems the information that pops up is the type of information that would scare the crap out of you. I read everything from PET scans to probes and wires. That was SOOO not the case! The testing was considered "Neuro Behavioral" testing. Small, random (sometimes a little weird) and simple tests. There were three phases to the testing: Motor skills, written testing and communicative testing. I will try and break it down the best I can.

Phase one. Motor skills.

Triscuit was asked to touch his fingers together in the same order SHE did (without looking at his fingers). Thumb and index finger, then thumb and pinkie...so on. On the RIGHT side, Triscuit did PERFECTLY...but on the left side? No so well. He got the pinkie and index right, but the other two? Completely opposite. She had him pretend to throw a ball, pretend to brush his teeth, then had him look up at the corner of the room through a tube. He switched the tube from eye to eye, so he passed (I know...I still don't understand that one). She had him touch his nose, show her the difference between left and right...things of that nature.

Phase two: Written testing.

He was instructed to look at detail. Most of it was recognizing shapes. It would go from simple to complex (complexity being shapes in shapes and the key was to recognize the exact position of the shape. In other words, it couldn't be just a rectangle. It had the be the rectangle slanted to the left)...things of that nature. When it came to THOSE types of tests, he did REALLY well. Then, he went to letters. She wanted him to write his alphabet in LOWER case as quick as he could. He knows his alphabet...but writing is not his forte. He likes to mix up his lower and upper case...something I thought was normal. I guess, that's NOT normal...especially for his age. He understood when he made a mistake, but got really frustrated AT the mistake. He got to "g", when she decided to stop the test. She also observed his behavior when he was writing. Most of us understand that when you are testing, you need to sit still and you need to be quiet. He couldn't do either. He was fidgety, distracted and the poor kid just doesn't know how to work QUIETLY. The other thing that was worrisome, was he kept asking, "Is this right? Is this right?" He has NO confidence. The last part was numbers. He had to recognize the sequence of numbers then find that same sequence through 10 lines of numbers that were in SIMILAR order.

Phase three: Communicative testing.

THIS part of the testing was the most difficult for him. The first thing she did was read him a story. Then, she asked him what the basics of the story was. He had no problems telling her that. But when she began asking him the details of the story (like "How was the weather in the story?" Or, "What emotion was the character showing?"), he would often answer it with a questioning tone (and no, he didn't get it right). The next thing was giving him verbal instructions. She could only say them once, so he had to really pay attention. I forgot exactly what she asked him to do, but all I know was he just looked at her...confused beyond confused. He would make a frustrated growl and say, "I don't know what you mean". She repeated this three times (different questions every time) and he couldn't do ONE of them. The last thing was asking him to do was repeat back a sequence of numbers in the same order she spoke them. He did great when it was only 4 numbers long...but when it came to 5 or more, he didn't get one of them correct. It was too complicated.

She stepped out of the room for about 10 minutes to score his testing. During this time, I tried to keep Triscuit out of the bio hazard trash can. He wanted to know why he couldn't touch it. He wanted to know what bio hazard meant and why he couldn't just throw something away in ONE trash can. That was fun. He had to wash his hands twice because he just HAD to mess with it! GROSS!!!!

Anyway, she came back with a LOAD of paperwork along with his scores. Here's how it played out.
Motor Skills - She didn't tell me EVERYTHING she saw, but she did tell me a few things. He's a little behind on his motor skills. Something she fully expected. To be honest, I did too...but she didn't tell me what the cause could have been (as I've mentioned before, the concern was the nature surrounding his birth). She wasn't too concerned, stating that he will catch up...it was just going to take a little longer than normal. I have still to pose some questions about that.

Written Skills - He is behind...no doubt about it. Again, something I wasn't too shocked by. She noticed that, of course, he couldn't sit still. He had to move at all times. He couldn't be quiet and do his work, he had to talk it out. When he made a mistake, he got VERY frustrated and anxious. Performance anxiety...big time. He tried to make a joke out of it...and often did nervous laughter. This concerned her....BIG TIME. She said that when he makes a mistake, he gets ANGRY at himself. He is looking to us adults for verification BEFORE he makes the mistake (hence asking, "Is this right?"). She told me that she would LIKE for him to see a counselor...just to make sure he doesn't have an anxiety disorder. I told her I was wondering if MY frustration rubbed off on him causing him to be anxious. She said I had a good point. She talked to me a little about it and told me that no matter HOW good my intentions are, we are all human and we ALL get frustrated. She said she could only imagine what I go through on a daily basis being both mom AND teacher. She gave me some pointers on how to deal with both of our issues...so I have yet to test those out next week.

Communicative testing: Here is where it hit home. He failed. He failed BIG time. What she told me was that because he didn't start the act of talking until he was 4, it essentially put him behind by 2 years. A child is supposed to begin talking at around 2 or 2 1/2. Although Triscuit knew what things were (he could identify things if you asked him to point out, say, a horse), he never followed through with SPEAKING it. She said that he may be 7 and a half, but his verbal/comprehensive skills are at a 5 year old level. When I told her in the first appointment that he was a year behind in language arts and phonics, she knew something wasn't right...she just needed to verify it before telling me her findings. Because he is 2 years behind in communicative skills, he will also be behind socially. How true THAT is. He talks on a 5 year old level, comprehends on a 5 year old level and THINKS on a 5 year old level. She did reassure me he will catch up to his peers, but it's going to take a LOT of patience and encouragement. She advised me to stay away from the institution of school until he's stable. If we put him back now, it would cause things to get worse. She also thought that holding him back a year would be a VERY good idea (something we had already decided on). He will also need behavioral modification classes. All my frustration towards him...expecting him to "act his age" wasn't something he was capable of. I'm having a rough time with that. I felt so out of touch with my own child when she told me all of this. Poor baby.

So...here's the plan. He definitely has ADHD. He is in need of behavioral therapy (as I said above) and yes, it was strongly advised for him to be put on the lowest dosage of Dexadrine available (Spantules). It's a long acting pill...it will last 8-10 hours, then it wears off, just long enough to get him through the school day. She explained it before like a "buzzing that will go away once the medication takes effect". Also, because he is a VERY visual person (learner), we will be using a LOT of manipulative's during school (thank you to all my teacher friends who told me about this aspect a few weeks ago...you all were SO right on). Make the instructions as simple as possible and don't expect him to understand things the first 3 times it's explained. A lot of patience and encouragement is needed. We were given a 504 request letter (you teachers will understand that one) for his schooling. This will allow more time during testing along with other things.

The most important thing that she noticed is, he wants to be "a good boy" SOOO badly, that when he DOES make a mistake, he gets angry at himself. Some of his argumentative behavior is the fact that he's frustrated, doesn't understand why he's getting in trouble and doesn't know how to communicate his emotions. What I'm about to say may sound harsh. Know that I love you all but as his mother, I have to say this. Those of you reading this that have direct contact with him....UNDERSTANDING, ENCOURAGEMENT and LOVE is HIGHLY needed. Yes, he may be annoying at times and yes, he does seem immature...but we all know WHY now...so please...cut him some slack. I will no longer sit back and except impatient behavior towards my son. Yes, I was often impatient too, but because I understand now what is happening with him, MY perspective has changed. My job as a mother is to do the best I possibly can. This includes making sure they are healthy, loved and PROTECTED. I will do anything and everything to make sure they are getting the best we can give them.

I realize this has been a long post, and I thank you for taking the time to read it. It's been an emotional journey for me, so I've writing this with a lot of emotion on my sleeve. I realize this blog is a little out of character for me, but I'm sure you all understand.

Last thing. I want to thank ALL of you that have been so supportive of everything I've/we've done to help Triscuit...from home schooling, to listening to me babble, to suggesting techniques, to thinking and praying for us, etc. You all have really kept our spirits up and assured us that all would be fine. I can't say thank you enough!!!!

Messy Conversations

2009-02-03T14:46:00.000-08:00

No no no...this isn't about some embarrassing question or conversation we've had to have with Triscuit (although, I KNOW that's what you were thinking). This one is about Toblerone.

As I've mentioned before, my "little" 2 and 1/2 year old has begun to converse with us now. Every day, he comes out with another word that he's heard and has incorporated into his vocabulary. He also has really begun to pronounced his words...and he takes his time. He enunciates VERY well, but when it comes to the sound "sssss"...it's a "th". Yes, he lisps. Although cute, it can be a little "messy". I'm thinking about investing in these...:

It's a blast carrying on a conversation with him, but he seems to be the MOST talkative during the most INAPPROPRIATE times.

I will go from least inappropriate to most inappropriate.

In last place....

WHILE MOMMY IS ON THE PHONE

It NEVER fails. The minute that phone rings, he's RIGHT there (I actually HATE to talk on the phone, so I don't get that many calls).

Toblerone: *finds the phone (regardless of where I may have hid it), grabs it and RUNS it to me. "Mama...PONE!" In a SHRILL and LOUD voice.

Mum: "OK Toblerone...Thank you."

Toblerone: "Welcome"

Mum: "Hello?"

Toblerone: "Hold....pone...talk"

Mum: "No Toblerone. You can't hold the phone and talk."

Toblerone: "Peeeeeeeth?"

Mum: "No. Go Play."

Toblerone: "No pay (play)...talk!"

If his ploys of asking NICELY don't work, he will resort to attention grabbing.

Toblerone: "MAMA! TOOKIE!"

Mum: "No...no cookie."

Toblerone: "Handy?"

Mum: "No Candy."

Toblerone: *beginning to whine*..."PEEEEEEEEEeeeetttthhhh?"

This can go on if I let it, but I will usually duck outside, quickly finish my conversation and come back in to a HOWLING good time.

Next to the last place:

ANYTIME I'M COOKING

I wouldn't mind him joining me in the kitchen if he wasn't INTO everything. As soon as he sees me getting pots and pans out...he's RIGHT there.

Toblerone: "Mama...dinner?"

Mum: "Yup. Mama's making dinner. Please, go play outside or go to your room and play."

Toblerone: "No pay...hep?"

Mum: "No thank you, honey. I don't need help."

Toblerone: *opens pantry* "Toblerone hep. Pearth?"

Mum: "I don't need your help honey...and no, we aren't having pears for dinner."

Toblerone: *runs to the fridge*..."Mama. Cheeth?"

Mum: "Hmm...actually, yes...I'll take the cheese. Thank you."

Toblerone: "Welcome. More? Hep?

Again, this can keep going on, but because of his age and lack of knowledge about things that can REALLY hurt him, he can't stay in there with me. He came dangerously close to putting his hand on the hot glass top stove once. Since then, it's been out of the question.

Runner up

RIGHT BEFORE BED

My kids are NO different from any other kid when it comes to bedtime. They HATE it. They would much rather stay up with Mom and Dad. After all, Mommy and Daddy usually party after the kids are in bed (yes...I'm kidding). We begin to get ready an hour before bedtime...that way, they have time to get it through their thick little heads that it's time for bed and Mommy and Daddy aren't going to cave. *DING DING DING* "Lllllllet's get ready to ruuuuuummmmbllllllleeee!"

Mum: "OK boys. Time to get ready for bed. Brush your teeth please."

Triscuit: "NOT FAIR! It's not 8:00! I want dessert."

Mum: "No dessert. Go brush your teeth....NOW."

Triscuit: *pouts and shuffles his feet while going to brush his teeth*

Toblerone: "No! No...bed...yet."

Mum: "Yes. Time for bed. Let's brush your teeth."

As I get his toothbrush ready, he's right by my side saying:

Toblerone: "Mama...Toblerone...brush MY teeth (touching his hand to his chest)."

Mum: "OK. But as soon as YOUR done brushing your teeth, Mama's going to help you."

Toblerone: *frowns* "No. Mama NO hep Toblerone."

Mum: "Mama needs to go over your teeth after your done."

He will USUALLY let me go over his teeth AFTER he's done chewing the heck out of his toothbrush, but we do have occasions where I have to CHASE him around the house to catch him first.

After that fiasco, comes either quiet playtime or reading.

Then....it's time for them to get into their beds.

Triscuit: "But I don't WANNA go to bed! I'm not tired!"

Most of the whining and carrying on comes from TRISCUIT.

Weenie: "It's time for bed. Come on...let's go pray."

While Weenie is praying for Triscuit and tucking him into bed, I'm in the other room getting Toblerone to relax. I will usually lay down next to him and wait until he's completely settled down. Lately however, he's begun to use this time to TALK.

Toblerone: *points to the middle of the room* "Toblerone'th...room?"

Mum: "Yes. This is Toblerone's room. Lay down and go ni-night."

Toblerone: *points in the direction of Triscuit's room* "Trithcut'th...room?

Mum: "Yes. That's Triscuit's room. Lay down please."

Toblerone: "Mama...pay?"

Mum: "You want Mama to pray for you?"

Toblerone: "Yup"

After I'm done praying, the ownership of room conversation begins again. Then, he starts to make his nest.

Toblerone: "Mama? Min Min? Mauw? Elmo? Cat (he has 3 of them now)?"

After I'm done fetching all of his toys for him....

Toblerone: "Wobin? Piow?"

Mum: "Your Robin pillow is right there. Lay down."

Toblerone: "Banket?"

Mum: "OK. You're ALL tucked in now...PLEASE go ni-night."

Toblerone: "Mama? Ludge joo"

Mum: "Aww. I love you too."

In less than a minute, he's usually OUT!

*Drum roll please*.......

The most INAPPROPRIATE time?

WHILE ONE OF US IS GOING TO THE BATHROOM

It doesn't matter WHO it is. No matter HOW sneaky you are or how quiet you are...he's RIGHT there. I've tried to get into the habit of locking the door, but God forbid if you forget...

Toblerone: *busts through the door* "Mama? Doin?"

Mum: "Going potty. Go upstairs please."

Toblerone: "Poop?"

Mum: "No. Pee Pee. Go upstairs please."

Toblerone: "Mama? Done?"

Mum: "NO. Go upstairs please....NOW."

Toblerone: "Mama? Done? Now?"

Mum: *sigh*. "Yes Toblerone. Mama's done."

Toblerone: "Paper? Wipe?"

Mum: *MUCH HEAVIER SIGH* I get off the toilet as gracefully as possible (trying not to show TOO much)

Toblerone: *peeks into the toilet* "MAMA! Pee pee! Potty!"

Mum: "Yes honey. I know."

Toblerone: "Toblerone? Fush?"

Before you can answer....he flushes it FOR you.

Toblerone: "Mama? Wash...handth?"

Mum: "Yes Toblerone. Mama's washing her hands."

After the ritualistic bathroom routine is over...he yells...

Toblerone: "MAMA! DONE! POTTY!"

Thanks Toblerone. Now the neighborhood knows!

I have this feeling that not much will be sacred in the near future...privacy is OUT the window! We are getting a door alarm for our bedroom door (since there's no lock). We haven't had it happen YET...so let's keep it that way. I don't want to emotionally scar my children for life. I don't want this to happen....

One of my BIGGEST fears, yes. Do you blame me?

Preoccupied

2009-02-03T14:34:00.000-08:00

My apologies for being absent. My weeks have been filled with a certain 7 year old not wanting to do school, so our days haven't been the easiest to get through. I've also been consumed with finding out more information on ADHD before this Friday (Neuro testing at 2:00pm). I want to know exactly what tests he (Triscuit) will be going through before we get there. I know this isn't a test he can prepare or study for, but nonetheless, I still want to know.

Say a little prayer for us, as this has been heavy on my heart and mind since December!

Thank you.

But I'M The Baby!!!!

2009-01-21T10:36:00.000-08:00

Jealousy, rage, confusion...I bet you're thinking...soap opera, huh? Nope. It's called youngest child syndrome.

Last night, we watched our 10 month old nephew, H (the child of my youngest brother-in-law G and his wife, S). He's a tinky tiny little thing compared to my monsters, so I had to be sure to watch MY children around him. Often times, this meant carrying H around everywhere I went. Not a big deal to me...but OBVIOUSLY, it was a HUGE deal to Toblerone. As I sat down on the reclining chair with H, Toblerone came over....

Toblerone: *Tries to climb up on my lap*

Mum: "No Toblerone. There isn't enough room for H, you and Mama...please get down."

Toblerone: "HEY!" (his new favorite word...and it's said with disgust, too)

Mum: "Toblerone...be NICE."

Toblerone: *Continues to try and climb up on me."

Mum: "Toblerone...I said NO!"

Toblerone: "No...H...DOWN."

Mum: "I'm not putting H down. YOU...GO PLAY."

Toblerone: *Starts to cry, runs over to the side of the couch, plops down and POUTS*

I'm thinking, "OK...I'll just leave him alone. He'll stop pouting soon."

Triscuit sees this and tries to take Toblerone's mind off of H (Triscuit's such a good kid). It works for a while. Then, I decide to put H on the floor so he could play. Triscuit sees his opportunity to play with H so he STOPS playing with Toblerone and plays with H instead. This did NOT sit well with Toblerone.

Toblerone: *Goes to Triscuit and TACKLES him...*

Triscuit: "HEY!!! (you wonder where Toblerone gets his word from) BE CAREFUL OF THE BABY!!!"

Toblerone: "No. Triscuit...pay (play)...Toblerone!"

Triscuit: *Looks at me and says*, "Ooooh...he's JEALOUS isn't he?"

Mum: "Yes, baby...he sure is. He doesn't understand why he's not getting all the attention."

Triscuit, being the ornery boy that he is, decides to PURPOSELY ignore Toblerone. This infuriated Toblerone even more. A fight ensued and both got a spanking.

Forward to dinner time.

As my family was noshing on dinner (and I'm feeding H), H finishes his bottle VERY quickly and wants to be put down. He crawls over to Toblerone and begins to reach for his food. OK...DO NOT MESS WITH TOBLERONE WHILE HE'S EATING....you will see THIS (except in human form):

Toblerone: "NO H! MINE!"

Weenie: "What's the matter Toblerone? You think H is going to eat your food?"

Toblerone: "Yup."

The family finishes eating dinner and Toblerone is sitting on Weenies lap watching YouTube videos (cats, mainly....imagine that). H wants to play, so he goes over to Toblerone and pulls on Toblerones shirt.

Toblerone: "Hey (whiny voice)...H!!!" NO!"

Meanwhile, Triscuit gets down on the floor and begins to play with H. Yes...a few shots were snapped...

OK...pay attention to where Toblerone is in the next picture. Yes...he's watching big brother playing with that dang baby!
I must admit...when I saw this picture, it made me LAUGH! Toblerone was SO jealous! You would think that he would be OK with it...after all, we go to the in-laws house every Sunday and see all of the nephews/nieces on that day. What I think REALLY bothered him was the fact that this BABY was in HIS house, taking up time with HIS mommy and brother. I mean, honestly, where does this baby get off???? HAHAHAHA!!!!

Last night taught me a few things and confirmed a few feelings.

1. There was a REASON I got my tubes tied.

2. A third child was NOT something I think I could have handled (yes...it's fun when they are NOT yours).

3. Toblerone is an EXTREMELY clingy and jealous child.

4. Triscuit is incredibly good with babies.

Triscuit DID ask if we could have another baby. My response?

Says it all, doesn't it????

An Afternoon In The Leaves

2009-01-21T10:11:00.000-08:00

You would THINK that "Fall" would happen in October or November...but Noooo! Not in Arizona! It happens in JANUARY.

Since it was beginning to look like a forest in the back yard (with all the leaf debris all over the place), Weenie blew all the leaves into a pile. Almost IMMEDIATELY, Triscuit grabs Toblerone's hand and says, "*Gasp*! TOBLERONE!!! LET'S GO JUMP IN THE LEAVES!!!" This was Toblerone's first experience in leaves, so to him, this was totally "awesome". Triscuit got to show him just how much fun it could be to get leaves in every crevice of ones body. Leaves were in the hair, down the shirt, down the shorts and in the diaper. Nevertheless....they had a blast (then, a bath)!

Ahhh, yes. The fun of throwing leaves at each other....

Annnnndddd...the fun of jumping and rolling around in said pile of leaves.
I TRIED to get a good head shot of both of them in the leaves, but they MOVED.

I would have joined them in the pile, but because of my ungodly fear of fecal matter, I was afraid to come across a doggy loaf. It was safer to be on the other side of the lens....

It's Official...I'm Middle Aged

2009-01-17T09:27:00.001-08:00

So, yeah...I turned 35 last week. *sigh*. I remember thinking as a teenager, "GOD! That person is 35? That's OLD!" Haven't you ever felt like SMACKING your younger self? Ohhh...I BET you have!

Regardless of just HOW I feel about birthdays, I DID have a wonderful one! A few days before my birthday, I received a card from Ren Ren. Have you ever seen these characters?

I love these little guys! The card was REALLY cute, even though it DID rub in the fact that I am now "old". That's OK. She made up for it with a gift certificate to Bath and Body Works. If THAT wasn't in there, I wouldn't have forgiven her (HAHAHAHA!!! Just kidding Ren Ren).

Then ON the day of my birthday, around 11:30am, the doorbell rang. When I looked out the peep-hole, I saw a woman standing there with a bouquet. I opened the door and was SOOOO pleasantly surprised! My Mom and Dad sent me an "Edible Arrangement"....and it was all FRUIT! WOO HOO! For those of you that know me, I try and eat as healthy as possible (although I DO have my weak moments). Of course, I took pictures of the arrangement.

Beautiful, isn't it? Oh, and if you look at the upper right hand corner, you will see Triscuit's body...WAITING for Mum to say, "OK...you can dig in."

This bouquet was simply AMAZING! The COOLEST thing I have ever seen!!

What a WONDERFUL surprise! After a while, I had to beat my boys off with a stick (not literally, of course), so I could actually eat some!

Weenie had to work REALLY late that night (BOOOOOOO), so the Sister and Nephew came over. The Sister brought me Sushi and Wine! Ooooohhhh....was it GOOD! YUMMY!!!! She also brought the boys Happy Meals for dinner (I didn't have to cook)! I must say, I have THE BEST Sister in the WORLD! Needless to say, it was a VERY, VERY happy household THAT night! We all had full tummies, awesome company and a MOMMY who got to relax (even though Weenie had to work late).

Throughout the entire day, I got message after message...on MySpace, Facebook AND texts on my phone, wishing me a very HAPPY Birthday. Let me tell you...I felt SOOO loved! Thank you to all who showed their love. BIG HUGS to you!!!

It Was BOUND To Happen....

2009-01-12T20:43:00.001-08:00

Remember my post..."This is just SOOOO wrong"? If you recall, my fear was ONE of the boys coming up with a feminine hygiene question. Well, it happened...I just didn't expect it SO quick.

Yesterday, while getting ready to carry out our Sunday chores, I was gathering some "things" together to put in my purse. Weenie saw this and said LOUDLY, "OOOH! Peppermint Sticks!" I immediately yelled at him and gave him THIS look:

I KNEW that if Triscuit heard it he would think, "CANDY"! But, I think since he heard me YELL at Weenie he was smart enough not to push it. Well...the curiosity was just bubbling over...and it happened.

Triscuit: "Mommy?"

Mum: "Yes, baby?"

Triscuit: "What are peppermint sticks?"

Mum: "They're candy...why?"

Triscuit: "No...Daddy said something about peppermint sticks yesterday...do you have any?"

Oh Lord. Dang it Weenie!

Mum: "Ummm. No. I don't have anymore honey. They're all gone."

Triscuit: "WAS it candy?"

Double DANG IT!

Mum: "Yes."

OK...I know what I've said before. I want to be honest with my kids when these types of questions come up, but honestly, how SHOCKED would he be if I had to explain "that function" to him...especially when he was talking about CANDY?

I sure hope I played it off well enough. I'm NOT ready to tell him about that right now. I don't want to traumatize the kid. He will be traumatized enough when he DOES learn about it and doesn't quite understand why the female species hasn't died off.

Toblerone Won't Like This When He Gets Older

2009-01-12T20:21:00.000-08:00

While at the in-laws last night (something we do EVERY Sunday...kinda fun), for some reason, it seemed to EVERYONE that Toblerone got "bigger". So, we decided to do weights and measurements again. If you think Toblerone couldn't get any bigger right now, you were wrong. I swear, it's going to cost a FORTUNE to keep this kid fed and in clothing. He hasn't gotten any taller (yet)...he's still at a whopping 43 inches tall (for those of you not willing to convert that, it's roughly 3 feet 6 inches tall), but he is now 50 pounds. He's bulking up again, so I'm POSITIVE he will be shooting up within the next month or so.

Coincidentally, his cousin (my nephew) Z brought his "Hulk" hands and mask over to the in-laws last night. I snapped this picture....it was just TOO apropos...

The story behind the "Pretty Girl" bib is all TRISCUITS fault. Triscuit, being the ornery Weenie-Clone that he is, decided he was going to sneak this around Toblerone's neck. Unfortunately, since Toblerone can't read nor does he understand the whole pink thing, he was running around PROUDLY displaying the bib. Triscuit thought this was HILARIOUS (as did the rest of us). I don't think Toblerone will be too happy about this when he gets older and realizes just how silly he looked!

Yes...I'm still laughing....

And the REAL Conversing Begins!

2009-01-09T12:41:00.001-08:00

As I've mentioned before, Toblerone is FINALLY starting to talk. It's almost as if someone flipped on a light switch and all of the sudden "Sir Grunts-a-lot" becomes "Yabberwokee". Along with his vocabulary increasing everyday, his personality is emerging along with it. I swear...Weenie and I just crack UP at him sometimes! Here are a few examples.

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While preparing a home made stew a few days ago, Toblerone would come running into the kitchen, snatch some baby carrots and flee. While he was finishing noshing his carrot in the other room, I switched from cutting up carrots, to cutting up celery. If any of you have kids, you are well aware of a little show called "Wonder Pets".

At the end of each show, these little guys celebrate their teamwork by eating celery. Toblerone's favorite character is the duck...Ming Ming.

Toblerone comes running into the kitchen thinking he's going to snatch another carrot...and what does he see? Celery! I hear this EXCITED shriek and then:

Toblerone: "Mama! Petch (Pets)...Nom...Min Min!!!"

It took me a sec, but after the second repeat of the phrase...I caught what he was saying. It totally blew me away!

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Yesterday while Weenie was getting ready to leave for work, Toblerone walks up to me and says:

Toblerone: "Dada...Bye Bye?"

Mum: "Yes, honey. Daddy's going to work."

Toblerone: "Dada..wook?"

Mum: "Yes...Daddy's going to work. He'll be back later tonight."

Toblerone: "Dada NO wook. Dada HOME."

Mum: "No sweetie...Daddy HAS to go to work. He'll be back later."

Toblerone: "Dada...bap (back) shoo (soon)?"

Mum: "Yes...Daddy will be back soon."

20 minutes later...Toblerone runs to the front door.

Toblerone: "Dada...home?"

Mum: "No. Daddy isn't home. Daddy's at work. He'll be back later."

Toblerone: "Dada...bap shoo?"

Mum: *TRYING to get his mind off of Daddy* "Come on sweetie...let's go color."

Later in the evening, when Weenie DOES come home...there is this almost hysterical laughter when he hears the alarm beep on the car.

Toblerone: "DA DA!!!! HOME...HOME!!!! DA DA!!! HI!!!!"

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Today, I decided I was going to play "Animal Crossing" while Triscuit was doing some independant phonics work (on the computer). I sit down in the middle of the floor, controller in hand, JUST about ready to start...when Toblerone gets RIGHT in front of me, squats down to look in my face (yes, he's THAT tall), his eyes about an inch from mine and says:

Toblerone: "What doin?"

Mum: "Playing a game."

Toblerone: *Pointing to the controller* "Mama...what dat?"

Mum: "Controller to play the game."

Toblerone: "Oh." *bends down and hugs me* "Mishoo".

Mum: "What?"

Toblerone: "Mishoo"

I still didn't understand what he was saying. So about 10 minutes later, I had to use the loo. When I came BACK upstairs, he RUNS up to me, hugs my leg and says:

Toblerone: "MAMA!" *squeezes my leg as hard as he can* "MISHOO!!!"

Ahhh....I GOT it that time... MISS YOU!

Awwww......

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I found this pic today. I took it to show you just HOW tall Toblerone was compared to our Christmas tree.

This is Just SO WRONG....

2009-01-09T11:53:00.000-08:00

I have the unfortunate lot in life right now of NOT being able to sleep very well. It takes me FOREVER to fall asleep (especially when it's quiet and my mind is allowed to think), so I flip through the channels at night. While doing this LAST night, I come across these two yahoos...

And the HEAD Yahoo is THIS guy:

Guess what product he's pushing?

OK...how WRONG is it when you start listening to the television and all of the sudden you hear someone talking about the LOOK, GIRTH and CONSISTENCY of your poo? Weenie just started LAUGHING his head off...not only at the infomercial, but at MY reaction. I got SO angry! You would have thought he turned it to CMT and left it on a country song. I was LIVID! Not only because they were talking about this on TV, but yes, because of my apprehensiveness to have ANYTHING to do with this function.

I get just as upset when feminine hygiene commercials come on. HELLO??? We ALL know people pee, poo and us woman know all TOO well that the "other thing" occurs. Do we HAVE to advertise it in cheesy and disgusting commercials? Why must we show women writhing in pain, not able to do their pants up because of bloating and just all around cranky? We ALL know this happens...so why don't we just RUB IT IN a little more, huh? What about Yeast Infection commercials? The woman looking one way (all business like and beautiful), but then showing her reflection with a hoodie on her head being all embarrassed about the "odor". What the heck? Don't get me started on the douche commercials. If (I should say WHEN) the day comes that Triscuit or Toblerone sees one of these commercials, I can hear it now:

"Mommy? Why do women have that "not-so-fresh feeling"? What does that mean?"

My answer will be...

"GO ASK YOUR FATHER!"

And The Obsessions Deepen

2009-01-08T13:39:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wondered if certain things are genetic? I'm not talking hair color, eye color or body type...I'm talking about TOY OBSESSIONS. Weenie is a HUGE Star Wars enthusiast. He has a nice collection of Star Wars Action Figures (BOY dolls...hehehe), Halo characters, ZOIDS, Gundam Figures, Legos...the list goes on. Here...let me show you PART of the "Man Cave".

I swear, this toy hoarding is a recessive gene...kind of like baldness. Have you ever seen these little guys?

They're the "Galactic Heroes" line in the Star Wars toy empire. I think my boys now have EACH and EVERY figure out there (thanks to Weenie and Christmas). These little things are EVERYWHERE in the house! Behind the couch, under the chairs, on the stairs, in their bedrooms, under the fridge and some have even made there way on TOP of the entertainment center. When we took down the tree, we found the little suckers stuffed in the bottom layers of the tree (as high as Toblerone could reach). I was wondering why he kept pointing at the tree saying, "Mama..Dedi (Jedi)! Tooper (Trooper)! Yeyo (Yoda)! AhChoo (R2)" I lost count just how many we pulled out.

The other thing is yes, Godzilla! You put one of those cheesy movies on and I will have a very QUIET household for a few hours! The obsession started with Triscuit, but as any of you know that have siblings, the YOUNGER sibling tends to follow in the older one's footsteps. Since right before Christmas, Toblerone was able to say, "Odziwa". Since his vocabulary is expanding each day, the Godzilla obsession is becoming an every minute of every day occurrence. AND...since Toblerone has a gross infatuation with poop...this scenario took place.

Ren Ren got each boy a gift card to Toys-R-Us for Christmas (thank you Ren Ren!). Right after Christmas, we took them to the store and each got a Godzilla toy. Toblerone got THIS one:

And Triscuit got THIS one:

We brought them home (the whole way home we listened to the boys saying, "MY Godzilla" back and forth. It was quite annoying) and took them out of their shoplifting proof containers. Toblerone turns Odziwa over, looks under his tail and says:

Toblerone: "Mama! Odziwa..POOP!"

Ahhh yes. That was a fun moment. When your child knows WHERE the poo comes out on any creature he lays his eyes on...it's time for potty training.

I have SOOOO much to look forward to as he grows older.

Ann Taintor

2009-01-07T07:57:00.000-08:00

While on the trip with my sister to Imperial Beach last November, we decided to scurry over Seaport Village. In one of their bookstores, we came across some work by Ann Taintor. If you've never heard of her....you will NOW. The sis and I stood there for quite some time going through the different merchandise and just CRACKING up!

Here is her website...http://www.annetaintor.com/

This woman is a genius! Her humor is right up my alley, too. The sis bought me 2 magnets and one grocery shopping list pad with THESE on them....

And my PERSONAL favorite:

While looking at this magnet this morning (half awake TRYING to make coffee), I thought, "I haven't seen ALL of her work." I went to the website and was laughing my HEAD off!!! I found some more favorites, and thought I'd share...

Me...in my younger years (and I STILL tend to do this...just not so much)

LOL!!!!

I want this one in poster size:

I feel like this most of the time with my rice cakes:

Weenie's NOT an idiot, but I thought this was rather true for some of the other guys I know:

We ALL know one of these:

Come on ladies...we ALL have felt this way:

I had this dream last night:

There are a LOT more on the website (I just chose my favorites). Please go take a look! There are also stories from the families of some of these women that posed for the pictures. If you want a consist ant laugh (especially early in the morning), you need to purchase some of these magnets. It never fails...I laugh every morning!

Finally CHRISTMAS!!!

2009-01-06T16:33:00.000-08:00

The boys had gone to bed about 10:30pm on Christmas Eve. I stayed up for a while trying to wrap last minute Christmas presents before MY side of the family arrived on Christmas morning. I think I went to bed around Midnight. I set the alarm for 5:00am to get up to make sure "Santa" left his goodies and stuff the stockings. I had all of that done in 20 minutes. I had a list of what I wanted to get done BEFORE 9:00am, but did it happen? Noooo...THIS Mum fell asleep on the flippin' COUCH! Weenie woke me up at 6:00am (when the kids woke up) and made me go lay back down on the bed. I don't even remember that....all I remember is waking up at 8:00am, in BED, and thinking, "What? Why am I here? I was stuffing stockings....!" Then, I look at the clock. SHEER PANIC set in! HOLY CRAP! I have SO much to do and not enough time to do it in! The parental units, sister and nephew were to arrive at 9:00am and I hadn't even hooked myself up to the coffee IV yet! Thank GOD for parents that understand. They didn't come until quarter till 10:00am. PHEW!

Usually, OUR tradition of opening presents is this: "OK! 1-2-3...GO!" Nope...not THIS year. My parents actually wanted to watch the kids open everything and see their little faces. Of course, they got a TON of loot! Money, toys, learning laptops, stuffed animals, balls (PLUSH ones...THANK YOU MOM), cars, MARKERS (thank you for getting WASHABLE ones) and of course, CANDY. One thing I noticed was that EACH side of the family bought my children one of THESE:

Yup...it's a pooping reindeer. Complete with caramel and coconut flavored "poop". Thank you oh SO much for those. You have NO idea the joy it has brought my children. There is nothing like carrying on a conversation with your kids about WHY we aren't going to eat "poop" so early in the morning. Triscuit didn't bug us so much about it, but Toblerone? As you all know, that seems to be his favorite subject....

Toblerone: (Pointing with his chubby little fingers) "Da da...handy (candy)! Poop!"

Weenie gets down the nasty thing, fills it up with poop (his neck has a hinge on it, so you don't lose the head when you fill him up), shows Toblerone how it works (push down on it's back, his legs disappear into it's body...kind of like it's squatting), makes a BIG mistake and adds a grunting sound effect as if the poor thing is constipated, and out pops a piece of poo. All I could do was make these two faces:

For the next fifteen to twenty minutes, I hear Toblerone making the grunting sound, followed by "POOP!" while laughing hysterically! I'm convinced that BOTH sides got them these so they could later read just how much "fun" I had with it. Well guys...you got your wish. Next time we come over, I will give Toblerone the pooping reindeer to bring to you. YOU can carry on the conversation with him...because, frankly, I'm rather tired of hearing, "Mama...mowa (more) poop!" Oh...and thank you again...EVER so much.

Christmas Eve

2009-01-06T08:17:00.000-08:00

Every Christmas Eve, for 18 years, we have gone over to Weenie's parents house for Christmas. It has ALWAYS been chaotic, but as the years pass and the family grows, things get crazier and crazier! Weenie comes from a large family to begin with. Weenie, being the oldest of 5 boys, is used to the craziness...however, it has taken me MANY years to become accustomed to it. I'm the type of person who likes things quiet and I tend to be on the "wallflower" side of life. Now that four out of the five are married and ALL the married couples have children, it has forced me to face the very thing I fear....social disorder. Why do I fear this? BECAUSE I'M A WALLFLOWER! There is no better explanation than that....

We arrived at the in-laws house at 4 o'clock in the afternoon. I believe we were the last ones to arrive. Since the family is 20 people strong (and another member on the way), the front room where the Christmas tree was located, was FULL of presents. I swear, it looked like Santa's Workshop exploded in there. Since the family was WAY too large to conduct present destruction INSIDE the house, we decided to do it on the patio. Although it was 60 degrees, the heaters and fire pits were set up (you know us Arizonians...we have VERY thin blood) all around the gathering place. I believe we may rethink that move next year. Heaters/fire pits + 8 children (all 8 years and younger) = STRESS! Despite the added stress of open flame and children, we all had a blast! It took about 3 hours to open all the presents (the family has a tradition of watching each person open each present...the order is from youngest to oldest), but it was fun! Here's a snapshot of what it looked like....

Yes, I know, the picture is dark and blurry, but I think it was rather impossible to take a picture IN focus with correct lighting. Every second of the night, there was SOMEONE chasing a child or moving about to get goodies. This picture was taken as various people were passing out the loot. See all the presents? You're only seeing a FEW piles...you're also only seeing about half the family. Get the idea yet? I hope so!

The children made out like bandits (of course). There were books, clothes and toys EVERYWHERE...and I think every single toy was a NOISY one. There were cars reving and racing, baby toys squeaking and talking, a niece in tap shoes (yes...that was MY fault for buying her those), adults talking/yelling at the children and the crackling of firewood in the fire pits. Ever been to a concert? You know the dull ringing in your ears AFTER the concert is over? Yeah...that was me by the end of the night (yes, I'm exaggerating a bit).

My wonderful father-in-law snapped this shot of the boys.

Remember me saying something about children and fire pits? Well, Toblerone decided to go play in the ashes. I thought I had gotten all the soot off of his face, but apparently, that wasn't possible. It appears as thought Triscuit was on the verge of standing on his tip toes to see over Toblerone's head!

The next post? Christmas Day and a few comments about toys they received. I need to buy stock in Duracell....

I Know...BAD MUM!

2009-01-03T21:19:00.000-08:00

You can let the tongue lashing begin. I've gotten plenty of phone calls asking me "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!!! You haven't posted ANYTHING to make me laugh! What's going on????" It's called the HOLIDAYS, folks! We were hosting it this year at our house, so THIS Mum was a BUSY WOMAN!

I'll start with right AFTER Triscuit's appointment. His appointment was the 16th and the parental units came in on the 19th. Between Triscuit's appointment and the day they came in...it was chaotic! I had SO much to finish and just DIDN'T get to it. I had decorations I wanted to hang, but didn't. I had carpets I wanted to shampoo, cookies to bake BEFORE they came in, laundry to finish and put away, carpet to pull up, cabinets to finish decorating....the list goes on. BUT...as a friend of mine told me, "Don't worry about things looking perfect. Just enjoy the time you have with your family." I eventually listened to her...and I am SO happy I did. Instead of stressing out over the little things that no one would really notice, I decided to enjoy myself. *GASP*...Mum? Enjoying herself? What's WRONG with you? LOL...I know.

I have a few good pics of the kids from Christmas. I will be posting those as I update the blog related to each child (and believe me...I have a LOT to publish).

I ask that you forgive me, ONCE AGAIN, for not staying on top of things! I will make it worth your wait....