Interesting Stuff From The Mouth Of Triscuit

I've resigned myself to the fact that Triscuit just has a different thinking process than most. Here are some interesting statements made by him over the past few months.
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Dog Butt Issues

While observing one of our dogs scooting it's butt across the floor (GROSS), Triscuit says this:

Triscuit - "Mom? Why do dogs scoot their butts across the floor?"

Mum - "Because...(he didn't let me finish)"

Triscuit - "Are they trying to vacuum?"
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Future Career

Mum - "Honey? What do you want to do when you grow up?"

Triscuit - "Help Dad with his XBox achievements."

Mum - (laughing) "You can't make a living doing that. You won't get paid."

Triscuit - "But that's what I want to do."

Mum - (I then realized that I should have posed the question a little differently) "What do you want to BE when you grow up?"

Triscuit - "A video game."

*sigh*....I gave up at that point.
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Phlegm

Triscuit - (Coughing due to a nasty cold)

Mum - "Triscuit! Cover your mouth! That's SOOO rude!"

Triscuit - *Observes a wad of phlegm fly out of his mouth*

Triscuit - (With a huge grin) "Mom! Did you SEE that??? I coughed a booger up FROM MY LUNGS! How is that possible?"

Mum - "When you have a cold, you need to blow your nose instead of swallowing it. Otherwise, it will end up sitting on your chest."

Triscuit - (perplexed look on his face) "How can boogers sit on your chest? They don't have butts."
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Little Brothers

Triscuit - "Mooooom! Toblerone HIT me!"

Mum - "WHY did he hit you? There has to be a reason."

Triscuit - "I wasn't doing aaaanything (yeah, right) and he came over and HIT me. I don't LIKE my little brother. Why did you have to have him?"

Mum - "That isn't nice! How would you like it if Toblerone said the same thing to me about you?"

Triscuit - "He wouldn't. He likes me too much...and I was here first."
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Eddie

Triscuit has this annoying ability to really upset that dog. After yelling at him I don't know HOW many times to leave her alone, she finally hauled off and gnawed on his thumb (it wasn't as bad as he made it out to be).

Triscuit - *CRYING HIS EYES OUT* "She BIT me! I wasn't doing aaaanything, and she BIT me!"

Mum - "HA! I watched you! You were teasing her, RELENTLESSLY! How many times did I tell you to LEAVE HER ALONE! When are you going to learn to listen? If you listened to me to begin with, you wouldn't be in this position, now would you?"

Triscuit - "Mom! YOU said I have to learn things the hard way. So, I was!"
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Braces (I have no one to blame but myself for this one)

At first, Triscuit was really happy to get his braces. Now, the novelty has warn off and he HATES them.

Triscuit - "When am I going to get my braces off?"

Mum - "They said you had to have them for a year, so around Christmas time of THIS year."

Triscuit - "But they're poking my gums and hurting my lips. Aren't my teeth straight enough?"

Mum - "No, honey. You must have them on until you're done. Sorry."

Triscuit - "Well, THAT sucks."
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Life Cycle of Plants (I've saved the best for last)

Mum - "Once a plant makes a seed, fruit will form around it. Birds and other animals eat that fruit, ingesting the seeds. Think this through...if a deer were to eat some wild berries, where would those seeds end up?"

Triscuit - "In their stomachs."

Mum - "When YOU eat, what happens to your food once your body is done with it?"

Triscuit - "*sigh*....do I have to say it?"

Mum - "Ummm...yes. What's wrong with saying it?"

Triscuit - "You don't like it, remember?"

Mum - "I'm a big girl, I can handle it. This is for school and you HAVE to learn this. It's very important."

Triscuit - "It drops it out of it's butt."

Mum - "Or...it POOPS it out...it's alright....you can say poop."

Triscuit - "Drops it isn't as gross."

Toblerone then decides to let one go (perfect timing)

Triscuit - (CRACKING up) "Mom...you may want to see if Toblerone dropped one out of his butt. It sounded like it popped out and hit the floor."

OK...*HURP* gross! Regardless of the terms, poo is poo. Dropped and popped are now on the "things that make me gag" list.