But I'M The Baby!!!!

Jealousy, rage, confusion...I bet you're thinking...soap opera, huh? Nope. It's called youngest child syndrome.

Last night, we watched our 10 month old nephew, H (the child of my youngest brother-in-law G and his wife, S). He's a tinky tiny little thing compared to my monsters, so I had to be sure to watch MY children around him. Often times, this meant carrying H around everywhere I went. Not a big deal to me...but OBVIOUSLY, it was a HUGE deal to Toblerone. As I sat down on the reclining chair with H, Toblerone came over....

Toblerone: *Tries to climb up on my lap*

Mum: "No Toblerone. There isn't enough room for H, you and Mama...please get down."

Toblerone: "HEY!" (his new favorite word...and it's said with disgust, too)

Mum: "Toblerone...be NICE."

Toblerone: *Continues to try and climb up on me."

Mum: "Toblerone...I said NO!"

Toblerone: "No...H...DOWN."

Mum: "I'm not putting H down. YOU...GO PLAY."

Toblerone: *Starts to cry, runs over to the side of the couch, plops down and POUTS*

I'm thinking, "OK...I'll just leave him alone. He'll stop pouting soon."

Triscuit sees this and tries to take Toblerone's mind off of H (Triscuit's such a good kid). It works for a while. Then, I decide to put H on the floor so he could play. Triscuit sees his opportunity to play with H so he STOPS playing with Toblerone and plays with H instead. This did NOT sit well with Toblerone.

Toblerone: *Goes to Triscuit and TACKLES him...*

Triscuit: "HEY!!! (you wonder where Toblerone gets his word from) BE CAREFUL OF THE BABY!!!"

Toblerone: "No. Triscuit...pay (play)...Toblerone!"

Triscuit: *Looks at me and says*, "Ooooh...he's JEALOUS isn't he?"

Mum: "Yes, baby...he sure is. He doesn't understand why he's not getting all the attention."

Triscuit, being the ornery boy that he is, decides to PURPOSELY ignore Toblerone. This infuriated Toblerone even more. A fight ensued and both got a spanking.

Forward to dinner time.

As my family was noshing on dinner (and I'm feeding H), H finishes his bottle VERY quickly and wants to be put down. He crawls over to Toblerone and begins to reach for his food. OK...DO NOT MESS WITH TOBLERONE WHILE HE'S EATING....you will see THIS (except in human form):

Toblerone: "NO H! MINE!"

Weenie: "What's the matter Toblerone? You think H is going to eat your food?"

Toblerone: "Yup."

The family finishes eating dinner and Toblerone is sitting on Weenies lap watching YouTube videos (cats, mainly....imagine that). H wants to play, so he goes over to Toblerone and pulls on Toblerones shirt.

Toblerone: "Hey (whiny voice)...H!!!" NO!"

Meanwhile, Triscuit gets down on the floor and begins to play with H. Yes...a few shots were snapped...

OK...pay attention to where Toblerone is in the next picture. Yes...he's watching big brother playing with that dang baby!
I must admit...when I saw this picture, it made me LAUGH! Toblerone was SO jealous! You would think that he would be OK with it...after all, we go to the in-laws house every Sunday and see all of the nephews/nieces on that day. What I think REALLY bothered him was the fact that this BABY was in HIS house, taking up time with HIS mommy and brother. I mean, honestly, where does this baby get off???? HAHAHAHA!!!!


Last night taught me a few things and confirmed a few feelings.


1. There was a REASON I got my tubes tied.


2. A third child was NOT something I think I could have handled (yes...it's fun when they are NOT yours).


3. Toblerone is an EXTREMELY clingy and jealous child.


4. Triscuit is incredibly good with babies.


Triscuit DID ask if we could have another baby. My response?



Says it all, doesn't it????

An Afternoon In The Leaves

You would THINK that "Fall" would happen in October or November...but Noooo! Not in Arizona! It happens in JANUARY.

Since it was beginning to look like a forest in the back yard (with all the leaf debris all over the place), Weenie blew all the leaves into a pile. Almost IMMEDIATELY, Triscuit grabs Toblerone's hand and says, "*Gasp*! TOBLERONE!!! LET'S GO JUMP IN THE LEAVES!!!" This was Toblerone's first experience in leaves, so to him, this was totally "awesome". Triscuit got to show him just how much fun it could be to get leaves in every crevice of ones body. Leaves were in the hair, down the shirt, down the shorts and in the diaper. Nevertheless....they had a blast (then, a bath)!

Ahhh, yes. The fun of throwing leaves at each other....

Annnnndddd...the fun of jumping and rolling around in said pile of leaves.
I TRIED to get a good head shot of both of them in the leaves, but they MOVED.

I would have joined them in the pile, but because of my ungodly fear of fecal matter, I was afraid to come across a doggy loaf. It was safer to be on the other side of the lens....

It's Official...I'm Middle Aged

So, yeah...I turned 35 last week. *sigh*. I remember thinking as a teenager, "GOD! That person is 35? That's OLD!" Haven't you ever felt like SMACKING your younger self? Ohhh...I BET you have!

Regardless of just HOW I feel about birthdays, I DID have a wonderful one! A few days before my birthday, I received a card from Ren Ren. Have you ever seen these characters?

I love these little guys! The card was REALLY cute, even though it DID rub in the fact that I am now "old". That's OK. She made up for it with a gift certificate to Bath and Body Works. If THAT wasn't in there, I wouldn't have forgiven her (HAHAHAHA!!! Just kidding Ren Ren).

Then ON the day of my birthday, around 11:30am, the doorbell rang. When I looked out the peep-hole, I saw a woman standing there with a bouquet. I opened the door and was SOOOO pleasantly surprised! My Mom and Dad sent me an "Edible Arrangement"....and it was all FRUIT! WOO HOO! For those of you that know me, I try and eat as healthy as possible (although I DO have my weak moments). Of course, I took pictures of the arrangement.

Beautiful, isn't it? Oh, and if you look at the upper right hand corner, you will see Triscuit's body...WAITING for Mum to say, "OK...you can dig in."

This bouquet was simply AMAZING! The COOLEST thing I have ever seen!!

What a WONDERFUL surprise! After a while, I had to beat my boys off with a stick (not literally, of course), so I could actually eat some!

Weenie had to work REALLY late that night (BOOOOOOO), so the Sister and Nephew came over. The Sister brought me Sushi and Wine! Ooooohhhh....was it GOOD! YUMMY!!!! She also brought the boys Happy Meals for dinner (I didn't have to cook)! I must say, I have THE BEST Sister in the WORLD! Needless to say, it was a VERY, VERY happy household THAT night! We all had full tummies, awesome company and a MOMMY who got to relax (even though Weenie had to work late).

Throughout the entire day, I got message after message...on MySpace, Facebook AND texts on my phone, wishing me a very HAPPY Birthday. Let me tell you...I felt SOOO loved! Thank you to all who showed their love. BIG HUGS to you!!!

It Was BOUND To Happen....

Remember my post..."This is just SOOOO wrong"? If you recall, my fear was ONE of the boys coming up with a feminine hygiene question. Well, it happened...I just didn't expect it SO quick.

Yesterday, while getting ready to carry out our Sunday chores, I was gathering some "things" together to put in my purse. Weenie saw this and said LOUDLY, "OOOH! Peppermint Sticks!" I immediately yelled at him and gave him THIS look:

I KNEW that if Triscuit heard it he would think, "CANDY"! But, I think since he heard me YELL at Weenie he was smart enough not to push it. Well...the curiosity was just bubbling over...and it happened.

Triscuit: "Mommy?"

Mum: "Yes, baby?"

Triscuit: "What are peppermint sticks?"

Mum: "They're candy...why?"

Triscuit: "No...Daddy said something about peppermint sticks yesterday...do you have any?"

Oh Lord. Dang it Weenie!

Mum: "Ummm. No. I don't have anymore honey. They're all gone."

Triscuit: "WAS it candy?"

Double DANG IT!

Mum: "Yes."

OK...I know what I've said before. I want to be honest with my kids when these types of questions come up, but honestly, how SHOCKED would he be if I had to explain "that function" to him...especially when he was talking about CANDY?

I sure hope I played it off well enough. I'm NOT ready to tell him about that right now. I don't want to traumatize the kid. He will be traumatized enough when he DOES learn about it and doesn't quite understand why the female species hasn't died off.

Toblerone Won't Like This When He Gets Older

While at the in-laws last night (something we do EVERY Sunday...kinda fun), for some reason, it seemed to EVERYONE that Toblerone got "bigger". So, we decided to do weights and measurements again. If you think Toblerone couldn't get any bigger right now, you were wrong. I swear, it's going to cost a FORTUNE to keep this kid fed and in clothing. He hasn't gotten any taller (yet)...he's still at a whopping 43 inches tall (for those of you not willing to convert that, it's roughly 3 feet 6 inches tall), but he is now 50 pounds. He's bulking up again, so I'm POSITIVE he will be shooting up within the next month or so.

Coincidentally, his cousin (my nephew) Z brought his "Hulk" hands and mask over to the in-laws last night. I snapped this picture....it was just TOO apropos...

The story behind the "Pretty Girl" bib is all TRISCUITS fault. Triscuit, being the ornery Weenie-Clone that he is, decided he was going to sneak this around Toblerone's neck. Unfortunately, since Toblerone can't read nor does he understand the whole pink thing, he was running around PROUDLY displaying the bib. Triscuit thought this was HILARIOUS (as did the rest of us). I don't think Toblerone will be too happy about this when he gets older and realizes just how silly he looked!

Yes...I'm still laughing....

And the REAL Conversing Begins!

As I've mentioned before, Toblerone is FINALLY starting to talk. It's almost as if someone flipped on a light switch and all of the sudden "Sir Grunts-a-lot" becomes "Yabberwokee". Along with his vocabulary increasing everyday, his personality is emerging along with it. I swear...Weenie and I just crack UP at him sometimes! Here are a few examples.

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While preparing a home made stew a few days ago, Toblerone would come running into the kitchen, snatch some baby carrots and flee. While he was finishing noshing his carrot in the other room, I switched from cutting up carrots, to cutting up celery. If any of you have kids, you are well aware of a little show called "Wonder Pets".

At the end of each show, these little guys celebrate their teamwork by eating celery. Toblerone's favorite character is the duck...Ming Ming.

Toblerone comes running into the kitchen thinking he's going to snatch another carrot...and what does he see? Celery! I hear this EXCITED shriek and then:

Toblerone: "Mama! Petch (Pets)...Nom...Min Min!!!"

It took me a sec, but after the second repeat of the phrase...I caught what he was saying. It totally blew me away!

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Yesterday while Weenie was getting ready to leave for work, Toblerone walks up to me and says:

Toblerone: "Dada...Bye Bye?"

Mum: "Yes, honey. Daddy's going to work."

Toblerone: "Dada..wook?"

Mum: "Yes...Daddy's going to work. He'll be back later tonight."

Toblerone: "Dada NO wook. Dada HOME."

Mum: "No sweetie...Daddy HAS to go to work. He'll be back later."

Toblerone: "Dada...bap (back) shoo (soon)?"

Mum: "Yes...Daddy will be back soon."

20 minutes later...Toblerone runs to the front door.

Toblerone: "Dada...home?"

Mum: "No. Daddy isn't home. Daddy's at work. He'll be back later."

Toblerone: "Dada...bap shoo?"

Mum: *TRYING to get his mind off of Daddy* "Come on sweetie...let's go color."

Later in the evening, when Weenie DOES come home...there is this almost hysterical laughter when he hears the alarm beep on the car.

Toblerone: "DA DA!!!! HOME...HOME!!!! DA DA!!! HI!!!!"

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Today, I decided I was going to play "Animal Crossing" while Triscuit was doing some independant phonics work (on the computer). I sit down in the middle of the floor, controller in hand, JUST about ready to start...when Toblerone gets RIGHT in front of me, squats down to look in my face (yes, he's THAT tall), his eyes about an inch from mine and says:

Toblerone: "What doin?"

Mum: "Playing a game."

Toblerone: *Pointing to the controller* "Mama...what dat?"

Mum: "Controller to play the game."

Toblerone: "Oh." *bends down and hugs me* "Mishoo".

Mum: "What?"

Toblerone: "Mishoo"

I still didn't understand what he was saying. So about 10 minutes later, I had to use the loo. When I came BACK upstairs, he RUNS up to me, hugs my leg and says:

Toblerone: "MAMA!" *squeezes my leg as hard as he can* "MISHOO!!!"

Ahhh....I GOT it that time... MISS YOU!

Awwww......

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I found this pic today. I took it to show you just HOW tall Toblerone was compared to our Christmas tree.

This is Just SO WRONG....

I have the unfortunate lot in life right now of NOT being able to sleep very well. It takes me FOREVER to fall asleep (especially when it's quiet and my mind is allowed to think), so I flip through the channels at night. While doing this LAST night, I come across these two yahoos...

And the HEAD Yahoo is THIS guy:

Guess what product he's pushing?

OK...how WRONG is it when you start listening to the television and all of the sudden you hear someone talking about the LOOK, GIRTH and CONSISTENCY of your poo? Weenie just started LAUGHING his head off...not only at the infomercial, but at MY reaction. I got SO angry! You would have thought he turned it to CMT and left it on a country song. I was LIVID! Not only because they were talking about this on TV, but yes, because of my apprehensiveness to have ANYTHING to do with this function.

I get just as upset when feminine hygiene commercials come on. HELLO??? We ALL know people pee, poo and us woman know all TOO well that the "other thing" occurs. Do we HAVE to advertise it in cheesy and disgusting commercials? Why must we show women writhing in pain, not able to do their pants up because of bloating and just all around cranky? We ALL know this happens...so why don't we just RUB IT IN a little more, huh? What about Yeast Infection commercials? The woman looking one way (all business like and beautiful), but then showing her reflection with a hoodie on her head being all embarrassed about the "odor". What the heck? Don't get me started on the douche commercials. If (I should say WHEN) the day comes that Triscuit or Toblerone sees one of these commercials, I can hear it now:

"Mommy? Why do women have that "not-so-fresh feeling"? What does that mean?"

My answer will be...

"GO ASK YOUR FATHER!"

And The Obsessions Deepen

Have you ever wondered if certain things are genetic? I'm not talking hair color, eye color or body type...I'm talking about TOY OBSESSIONS. Weenie is a HUGE Star Wars enthusiast. He has a nice collection of Star Wars Action Figures (BOY dolls...hehehe), Halo characters, ZOIDS, Gundam Figures, Legos...the list goes on. Here...let me show you PART of the "Man Cave".

I swear, this toy hoarding is a recessive gene...kind of like baldness. Have you ever seen these little guys?

They're the "Galactic Heroes" line in the Star Wars toy empire. I think my boys now have EACH and EVERY figure out there (thanks to Weenie and Christmas). These little things are EVERYWHERE in the house! Behind the couch, under the chairs, on the stairs, in their bedrooms, under the fridge and some have even made there way on TOP of the entertainment center. When we took down the tree, we found the little suckers stuffed in the bottom layers of the tree (as high as Toblerone could reach). I was wondering why he kept pointing at the tree saying, "Mama..Dedi (Jedi)! Tooper (Trooper)! Yeyo (Yoda)! AhChoo (R2)" I lost count just how many we pulled out.

The other thing is yes, Godzilla! You put one of those cheesy movies on and I will have a very QUIET household for a few hours! The obsession started with Triscuit, but as any of you know that have siblings, the YOUNGER sibling tends to follow in the older one's footsteps. Since right before Christmas, Toblerone was able to say, "Odziwa". Since his vocabulary is expanding each day, the Godzilla obsession is becoming an every minute of every day occurrence. AND...since Toblerone has a gross infatuation with poop...this scenario took place.


Ren Ren got each boy a gift card to Toys-R-Us for Christmas (thank you Ren Ren!). Right after Christmas, we took them to the store and each got a Godzilla toy. Toblerone got THIS one:




And Triscuit got THIS one:

We brought them home (the whole way home we listened to the boys saying, "MY Godzilla" back and forth. It was quite annoying) and took them out of their shoplifting proof containers. Toblerone turns Odziwa over, looks under his tail and says:

Toblerone: "Mama! Odziwa..POOP!"

Ahhh yes. That was a fun moment. When your child knows WHERE the poo comes out on any creature he lays his eyes on...it's time for potty training.

I have SOOOO much to look forward to as he grows older.

Ann Taintor

While on the trip with my sister to Imperial Beach last November, we decided to scurry over Seaport Village. In one of their bookstores, we came across some work by Ann Taintor. If you've never heard of her....you will NOW. The sis and I stood there for quite some time going through the different merchandise and just CRACKING up!

Here is her website...http://www.annetaintor.com/

This woman is a genius! Her humor is right up my alley, too. The sis bought me 2 magnets and one grocery shopping list pad with THESE on them....

And my PERSONAL favorite:

While looking at this magnet this morning (half awake TRYING to make coffee), I thought, "I haven't seen ALL of her work." I went to the website and was laughing my HEAD off!!! I found some more favorites, and thought I'd share...

Me...in my younger years (and I STILL tend to do this...just not so much)

LOL!!!!

I want this one in poster size:

I feel like this most of the time with my rice cakes:

Weenie's NOT an idiot, but I thought this was rather true for some of the other guys I know:

We ALL know one of these:

Come on ladies...we ALL have felt this way:

I had this dream last night:

There are a LOT more on the website (I just chose my favorites). Please go take a look! There are also stories from the families of some of these women that posed for the pictures. If you want a consist ant laugh (especially early in the morning), you need to purchase some of these magnets. It never fails...I laugh every morning!

Finally CHRISTMAS!!!

The boys had gone to bed about 10:30pm on Christmas Eve. I stayed up for a while trying to wrap last minute Christmas presents before MY side of the family arrived on Christmas morning. I think I went to bed around Midnight. I set the alarm for 5:00am to get up to make sure "Santa" left his goodies and stuff the stockings. I had all of that done in 20 minutes. I had a list of what I wanted to get done BEFORE 9:00am, but did it happen? Noooo...THIS Mum fell asleep on the flippin' COUCH! Weenie woke me up at 6:00am (when the kids woke up) and made me go lay back down on the bed. I don't even remember that....all I remember is waking up at 8:00am, in BED, and thinking, "What? Why am I here? I was stuffing stockings....!" Then, I look at the clock. SHEER PANIC set in! HOLY CRAP! I have SO much to do and not enough time to do it in! The parental units, sister and nephew were to arrive at 9:00am and I hadn't even hooked myself up to the coffee IV yet! Thank GOD for parents that understand. They didn't come until quarter till 10:00am. PHEW!



Usually, OUR tradition of opening presents is this: "OK! 1-2-3...GO!" Nope...not THIS year. My parents actually wanted to watch the kids open everything and see their little faces. Of course, they got a TON of loot! Money, toys, learning laptops, stuffed animals, balls (PLUSH ones...THANK YOU MOM), cars, MARKERS (thank you for getting WASHABLE ones) and of course, CANDY. One thing I noticed was that EACH side of the family bought my children one of THESE:

Yup...it's a pooping reindeer. Complete with caramel and coconut flavored "poop". Thank you oh SO much for those. You have NO idea the joy it has brought my children. There is nothing like carrying on a conversation with your kids about WHY we aren't going to eat "poop" so early in the morning. Triscuit didn't bug us so much about it, but Toblerone? As you all know, that seems to be his favorite subject....

Toblerone: (Pointing with his chubby little fingers) "Da da...handy (candy)! Poop!"

Weenie gets down the nasty thing, fills it up with poop (his neck has a hinge on it, so you don't lose the head when you fill him up), shows Toblerone how it works (push down on it's back, his legs disappear into it's body...kind of like it's squatting), makes a BIG mistake and adds a grunting sound effect as if the poor thing is constipated, and out pops a piece of poo. All I could do was make these two faces:

For the next fifteen to twenty minutes, I hear Toblerone making the grunting sound, followed by "POOP!" while laughing hysterically! I'm convinced that BOTH sides got them these so they could later read just how much "fun" I had with it. Well guys...you got your wish. Next time we come over, I will give Toblerone the pooping reindeer to bring to you. YOU can carry on the conversation with him...because, frankly, I'm rather tired of hearing, "Mama...mowa (more) poop!" Oh...and thank you again...EVER so much.

Christmas Eve

Every Christmas Eve, for 18 years, we have gone over to Weenie's parents house for Christmas. It has ALWAYS been chaotic, but as the years pass and the family grows, things get crazier and crazier! Weenie comes from a large family to begin with. Weenie, being the oldest of 5 boys, is used to the craziness...however, it has taken me MANY years to become accustomed to it. I'm the type of person who likes things quiet and I tend to be on the "wallflower" side of life. Now that four out of the five are married and ALL the married couples have children, it has forced me to face the very thing I fear....social disorder. Why do I fear this? BECAUSE I'M A WALLFLOWER! There is no better explanation than that....

We arrived at the in-laws house at 4 o'clock in the afternoon. I believe we were the last ones to arrive. Since the family is 20 people strong (and another member on the way), the front room where the Christmas tree was located, was FULL of presents. I swear, it looked like Santa's Workshop exploded in there. Since the family was WAY too large to conduct present destruction INSIDE the house, we decided to do it on the patio. Although it was 60 degrees, the heaters and fire pits were set up (you know us Arizonians...we have VERY thin blood) all around the gathering place. I believe we may rethink that move next year. Heaters/fire pits + 8 children (all 8 years and younger) = STRESS! Despite the added stress of open flame and children, we all had a blast! It took about 3 hours to open all the presents (the family has a tradition of watching each person open each present...the order is from youngest to oldest), but it was fun! Here's a snapshot of what it looked like....

Yes, I know, the picture is dark and blurry, but I think it was rather impossible to take a picture IN focus with correct lighting. Every second of the night, there was SOMEONE chasing a child or moving about to get goodies. This picture was taken as various people were passing out the loot. See all the presents? You're only seeing a FEW piles...you're also only seeing about half the family. Get the idea yet? I hope so!

The children made out like bandits (of course). There were books, clothes and toys EVERYWHERE...and I think every single toy was a NOISY one. There were cars reving and racing, baby toys squeaking and talking, a niece in tap shoes (yes...that was MY fault for buying her those), adults talking/yelling at the children and the crackling of firewood in the fire pits. Ever been to a concert? You know the dull ringing in your ears AFTER the concert is over? Yeah...that was me by the end of the night (yes, I'm exaggerating a bit).

My wonderful father-in-law snapped this shot of the boys.

Remember me saying something about children and fire pits? Well, Toblerone decided to go play in the ashes. I thought I had gotten all the soot off of his face, but apparently, that wasn't possible. It appears as thought Triscuit was on the verge of standing on his tip toes to see over Toblerone's head!

The next post? Christmas Day and a few comments about toys they received. I need to buy stock in Duracell....

I Know...BAD MUM!

You can let the tongue lashing begin. I've gotten plenty of phone calls asking me "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!!! You haven't posted ANYTHING to make me laugh! What's going on????" It's called the HOLIDAYS, folks! We were hosting it this year at our house, so THIS Mum was a BUSY WOMAN!


I'll start with right AFTER Triscuit's appointment. His appointment was the 16th and the parental units came in on the 19th. Between Triscuit's appointment and the day they came in...it was chaotic! I had SO much to finish and just DIDN'T get to it. I had decorations I wanted to hang, but didn't. I had carpets I wanted to shampoo, cookies to bake BEFORE they came in, laundry to finish and put away, carpet to pull up, cabinets to finish decorating....the list goes on. BUT...as a friend of mine told me, "Don't worry about things looking perfect. Just enjoy the time you have with your family." I eventually listened to her...and I am SO happy I did. Instead of stressing out over the little things that no one would really notice, I decided to enjoy myself. *GASP*...Mum? Enjoying herself? What's WRONG with you? LOL...I know.

I have a few good pics of the kids from Christmas. I will be posting those as I update the blog related to each child (and believe me...I have a LOT to publish).

I ask that you forgive me, ONCE AGAIN, for not staying on top of things! I will make it worth your wait....