*SIGH*....ADHD It Is....

As I sit here and write this, I'm trying to find the "funny" in this one. This is more of a serious post...but there are a few funny things.

Since today was the "big day", I woke up nervous as all get out. I didn't realize that I was so scared to hear the inevitable. The appointment today was between the developmental specialist and myself. An HOUR LONG appointment. Yes, it was draining and yes, it was VERY difficult, but it had to be done....and I am SO glad I did it.

I went into the appointment armed with a plethora of information on Triscuit. Not only the packet of information I had to fill out, but further information I gathered about his behaviors on a day to day basis. Because I'm not only playing the "mom" role, but also the "teacher" role, I had to switch between the two during the appointment. Now I know what schizophrenics feel like. She would ask me questions and wouldn't specify if I was supposed to answer as "Mom" or "Teacher". It got rather comical after a while, so she would say, "OK...this question is for your "Teacher" self." I found it funny. Here's how it went (and no, this is not word for word, but pretty darn close. I've been thinking about every thing she's said for the past 10 hours). We will start past the introduction phase:

Mary Coontz: "So...tell me what's going on with Triscuit"

Mum: "Well, this little issue was brought to my attention during his Kindergarten year. His teacher flat out told me, 2 months into the school year, that she was pretty sure Triscuit had A.D.D."

M.C.: "Oh? What brought her to that conclusion?"

Mum: "She stated that he was unable to pay attention, sit in a chair, he would interrupt during class and be very impulsive in his actions. I didn't buy into that. She had only been his teacher for 2 months, he was also a very young 5 year old when he started, so I thought (as well as Weenie) that his "symptoms" were age related.

M.C.: "Good point. Why did you decide to home school him?"

Poor woman....she had no idea what I was about to unleash....

Mum: "Because Weenie and I decided NOT to get him tested (for two reasons...one, because we felt it was a cop out on her part and two, we had no health insurance), she kind of "gave up" on him. His teacher was rather notorious for being impatient. Let's just say Triscuit was constantly in trouble...and it wasn't just for behavioral issues...it was for stupid things that a normal 5 year old boy would do. He wouldn't conform to her view of a perfect student, so she put him on a behavioral plan. Because he was constantly in trouble, he began to hate school. He would cry and fight with me in the morning because he didn't want to go to school. He went from being a happy go lucky child into being an angry and rather depressed child. He felt like he could do nothing right, so why try? Weenie and I decided to try home schooling to help him regain his confidence and learn to LOVE learning again."

M.C.: "Wow! I totally agree with your decision! If I could have done that with MY son, I would have. My son spent his 4th grade year in a desk in the corner...by himself. My son is the reason I got into this field. A.D.D. wasn't something that was commonly known back then, so these options weren't there for him. How has home schooling panned out?"

Mum: "Because of his teacher and Triscuits unwillingness to even try in school, he began his first grade year doing Kindergarten phonics and language arts. His first grade year was rather uneventful. Yes, we had the issues of him not being able to sit still and talking out of turn, but again, I attributed that to his age. It was something that I could live with. He seemed to be learning at a rapid rate, so I wasn't concerned. But THIS year....it all hit the fan. The school year started out rather uneventful, but as time progressed and new concepts were introduced...he lost ALL confidence. It was more difficult for him to sit still. It was easier for him to be distracted. Although he can recite to me the school rules, he seems to forget them EVERY DAY. His impulsiveness is rather scary and his emotions/anger are starting to get out of control."

M.C.: "Let's look at the paperwork you filled out."

On this paperwork, it lists different areas and gives you a rating of 1-5....5 being the most problematic. It has 2 forms that his "teacher" would fill out and 2 forms for the parents to fill out.

M.C.: "Let me tell you Triscuit's score. His academic score is a 9 out of 10 in severity...10 being the most severe. In other words, his academic performance is far below standard."

Mum: "That's the main reason I decided to seek help for him. When his ability to learn started suffering, I knew I couldn't ignore it anymore."

M.C.: "You did the right thing. I admire the fact that you've taken it upon yourself to REALLY rule out whether it was age or something more serious. I like the fact that both "Mom" and "Teacher" are right in front of me! It makes MY job MUCH easier! Now, I want to ask about his social abilities. How is he with other children? How is he in a group setting?"

Mum: "Because he's home schooled, he doesn't have the typical day to day interaction with other kids his age. Weenie and I were thinking of putting him back in a normal school next year, but quickly realized that would further harm him (if you will) emotionally without getting him help."

M.C.: "Oh...PLEASE don't put him back into a normal school....NOT until his behaviors are under control. You're absolutely correct...that would do MORE harm to him and his psyche. He already feels like he can't do anything right...with him being in a normal school situation, not only will he have performance anxiety, but he will have his behaviors (which ARE out of control, by the way) to tackle. It's VERY difficult for a child in his position to look at the big picture."

Mum: "Yes...he has tunnel vision. He doesn't think about the consequences of his actions until AFTER he's done them. He will often say, "I don't know why I did that Mama..." or, "I forgot". He's VERY impulsive in every aspect of his life."

M.C.: "Those two phrases, 'I forgot' and 'I don't know why' are the passwords with kids in his situation. How do his peers treat him?"

Mum: "Well...Triscuit is often hard to take. He talks CONSTANTLY...about anything and everything. Often, there are times where he cannot focus on just ONE thing he enjoys...he has to talk about everything under the sun. He's rather immature when it comes to his social skills...but then again, he always HAS been. He's a very social child and tries to make friends everywhere he goes, but the other kids around him have a difficult time handling him. Adults even find him annoying."

M.C.: "I hate to say this, but that's rather typical. So, he talks all the time? What about during school?"

Mum: "His learning coach and I have tried various things to get him to focus...giving him tokens to say things that don't pertain to a subject...then once those tokens are gone, he cannot talk anymore. Needless to say, that hasn't worked AT ALL. He is ALWAYS the last to finish a meal because he talks constantly. Regardless of how many times we say, "Triscuit, be quiet and eat", it's almost as if he doesn't hear us. He just keeps going and going..."

M.C.: "Energizer Bunny, huh?"

Mum: "Exactly. His motor NEVER shuts down and NEVER gets tired. He looks tired all the time. He doesn't sleep well. He lays in bed, talking to himself or his stuffed animals and then passes out from exhaustion. He then gets up as SOON as there is daylight."

M.C.: "Next thing....family history. Anyone in the family (on either side) have problems with A.D.D. or A.D.H.D? How about depression? Any mental retardation?"

Mum: "Yup. Weenie was diagnosed with A.D.H.D. in his 20's. While talking to Weenie's dad, I found out that Weenie wasn't the only one who had attention problems. Also, growing up, I had difficulty with school...but mine was more depression. I had problems reading. I often wouldn't try something because I didn't want to fail at it...yet AGAIN. My self esteem sucked, too, so everything snowballed. Not only was I poor in school, it began to weigh on me physically. Eating disorder developed...yadda yadda yadda....need I go on?"

M.C.: "No, honey. I get the picture. Does Triscuit have any siblings? If so, how does he treat them?"

Mum: "He has a younger brother. Little brother is 2 and 1/2."

M.C.: "Five years difference, huh? Does Triscuit understand that little brother is so much younger?"

Mum: "No. He knows he's 2 and 1/2, but doesn't cut his brother any slack. He treats him as if he's his equal. He expects little brother to understand everything he says and does. If younger brother doesn't get it, he gets angry. I caught him yesterday punching his little brother then blatantly lying his way out of it and actually BLAMING little brother...saying that little brother hit HIM."

M.C.: "What did you do?"

Mum: "Yelled at him, spanked him for lying and hitting his brother, then sent him to his room until Weenie got home."

M.C.: "Did you say, 'WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?"

Mum: "Yes."

M.C.: "What was his response? Did he finally admit to it?"

Mum: "He admitted it after Weenie got home and talked to him. He said he hit little brother because he didn't listen to him. This is an area where Weenie and I differ on our views. I WILL NOT put up with angry physical violence towards each other. Weenie thinks that it's normal. He grew up the oldest of 5 boys, so nothing phases him."

M.C.: "Well, if Weenie grew up having A.D.D. and so did his younger brother, than yes, that WAS normal.....FOR THAT HOUSEHOLD."

At this point, she gives me examples of what a "normal" 7 year old's behavior looks like. TALK ABOUT NIGHT AND DAY.

M.C.: "His anger issue concerns me. Often times, kids in his situation, again, don't see the big picture. They expect others to see things like they do. When that doesn't happen, they get angry. Also the fact that Triscuit can't wrap his mind around the fact that he's dealing with a 2 1/2 year old sibling is concerning. Kids his age will often at least understand the they are much younger and not as "smart"."

M.C.: "I want to touch on his motor skills. When did he start talking?"

Mum: "He didn't start talking until he was 4. We had a developmental specialist test him THEN and she said that as long as he understood things, the talking wasn't as big of an issue."

M.C.: "Often times when children don't start talking at the right age, their reading and writing abilities suffer later in life. This is just a question...did anything happen during his fetal development or during his birth?"

Mum: "Ummm...yes. Why?"

M.C.: "Can you elaborate?"

Mum: "I was 10 days past my due date. I went in on July 6th for an induction appointment. While checking on him, they couldn't locate his heartbeat. They quickly hooked me up to the ultrasound and found the cord wrapped around his neck. I had an emergency c-section about 10 minutes later. The cord was wrapped around his neck 3 times and there was hardly any amniotic fluid left in my womb. He was a bluish color after he was delivered, but he quickly rebounded and gained normal infant coloring."

M.C.: "Hmmm. So there was really no way of knowing how long that cord was around his neck, huh?"

Mum: "I asked the doctors that. They told me no. They said that we wouldn't know if any real damage had been done until he was developing into toddlerhood. He WAS checked and nothing was ever noted."

M.C.: "OK...what I want to do is a few things. First of all, I DO believe he has ADHD. His behaviors are very problematic and the fact that he is bordering on depression concerns me. However, I believe the depression is because of the fact that he is always in trouble and he feels he can do nothing right. On a scale of 1 - 10 (10 being the most severe), Triscuit rates at a 9."

At this point, I start to cry. I HATE to cry....but I couldn't help it.

M.C.: "It's ok....you can cry! That's why we have kleenex! Can you tell me why you're crying?"

Mum: "I just want the best for Triscuit. I don't want him growing up thinking he's a bad kid. I want him to have confidence in life. I want him to get MORE out of life, in general! I don't want him to be afraid to go for his goals."

M.C.: "Well, there IS hope. I mentioned MY son earlier. He's a very successful pilot now. It took him a little longer to reach his goal, but he did it. The fact that you caught Triscuit's this early, gives him more of a head start."

Mum: "I just feel so bad for him. Poor little guy."

M.C.: "The OTHER thing I want to do is administer a series of neurological tests."

Mum: "Why?"

M.C.: "Because of the nature of his birth and the possible lack of oxygen to his brain, I want to make sure that all of his wires are crossing where there supposed to be."

I'm thinking, 'So, in other words, you want to make sure he's not a window-licker...'

Mum: "There hasn't been any questions brought up about mental retardation...."

M.C.: "I'm not saying he's mentally handicapped, I'm saying that he COULD have a slight developmental delay. I will be checking his eyesight, his hearing, his reaction times to different situations. I will be testing just HOW long he can pay attention to something. Also, if it's something he LIKES to do, how long it takes him to STOP doing it (I DID mention to her that Triscuit will throw fits if you ask him to stop doing something he's enjoying)."

She comes back to the room with a packet of information on behavioral classes AND medication. She already knew my opposition to medication prior to the appointment because of Dr. L's notes. She assured me that he will NOT lose his personality. She said the only time she has ever seen that is if a child was on WAAAAY too much medication.

The appointment is pretty much over with, so I go to make the appointment for the neurological testing (mind you, no meds will be given or classes started until AFTER the testing is complete). Get this....February 6th was the EARLIEST appointment!!! *SIGH*...yes, it's a few months away, but it's not the end of the world.

So...the diagnosis is a positive. However, the TYPE of ADHD has yet to be determined. There are so many facets to this disorder that it's mind boggling! As I learn more, I will update more.

Also, as sad as this seems, I KNOW it's not a diagnosis that is life-threatening. This is a manageable disorder. I'm a strong mommy. My desire for my children is that they have more opportunities in life than I had. These issues were just being investigated as we grew up, so our parents didn't have a clue what to do. I have to give my parents and my in-laws credit for being so patient with US. Our parents have raised incredible children despite any behavioral/developmental issues! All I ask is for you all to pray. Pray that God gives me patience. Pray that God gives Triscuit understanding as to what's going on in his mind.

When I opened up "Cheesburger" today, I saw this...I think God knew I needed to laugh about this! I hope it makes you laugh, too.

Mom? Was That YOU???? Oh Wait....

Something just flew out of my mouth that I have NEVER heard myself say (or think).....

As Triscuit and Toblerone were running around with the usual afternoon spazzies (the hours between 3 and 5 are "spaz" time in this house), they begun opening and SLAMMING closed doors.

Mum: "TRISCUIT!!! TOBLERONE!!! STOP SLAMMING DOORS! You guys need to come downstairs, sit in the living room and SETTLE DOWN!"

Of course, I'm either NOT heard or they're deliberately ignoring me...

Mum: "TRISCUIT....TOBLERONE....NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Again, no response other than intense shrieking and yelling from room to room....

Mum: "DO NOT MAKE ME COME UP THERE!!!!"

Ummmmmm........WHAT did I just say?!?!?! I could have sworn my Mother just jumped into my body and took over!

The "sound like your Mother" file just increased in size.....

I wonder what will fly out of my mouth NEXT time?

NO! MINE!!!!!

Ah yes....the ever so wonderful world of a 2 year old. Now that Toblerone is saying simple sentences (and yes, he HAS said a few more sentences...unfortunately, the subject matter has involved poop everytime...), his knowledge is expanding QUICKLY. Many words are still a little unclear, but because I'm "mommy", I can understand what he wants. Here are some new words the little booger has begun to say:

Wa'er - Water
Pees - Please (no longer just the long "E" sound we were hearing before. He has actually added CONSONANTS).
Poop - Self Explanatory...I don't see a need to expand on that, do you? Ew.
Hep - Help
Mower - More
Dod - Dog
Mauw - Cat (we're still working on the "K" sound)
Tee - Tree
Choo Choo - Train.
Rang - Rain
O Daba Daba - Yo Gabba Gabba (goody)
Wow wow - Wow Wow Wubsy
A Bup! - A Bug! (he's not really fond of the flying ones)
Arf - Bear (our dog)
Voom - Car (again, still working on the "K" sound)
Yayo - Yoda (Weenie is a HUGE Star Wars geek)
Pup - Cup (again, "K" sound)

Then there are my favorite (sarcasm) words of all....
"NO!" and "MINE!"

I think, as a parent, we ALL dread the day that our children learn those words....especially if they have siblings. When Triscuit was little, we never heard the word "mine" come from his mouth. He didn't have anyone to compete with...but Toblerone? I think the word "mine" is his favorite word to say. Then, of course, Triscuit just exacerbates the problem by egging him on. Take today, for instance....

While we were doing phonics, Triscuit decides to shove his pencil in Toblerone's face and say, "Toblerone...this is MY pencil." Now, is that NOT egging Toblerone on? Of COURSE it is. Toblerone responds with a shriek, takes a lunge for the pencil and begins to scream..."MINE! MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE!!!!" Of course, Triscuit is smiling a very ornery smile the entire time Toblerone is throwing a fit. Then there's me....trying to contain a 45 pound 2 year old. Needless to say, my arms are sore.

The OTHER word that just rubs me the wrong way is, "NO". The only thing is, he thinks it's FUNNY when he says "NO". Example:

Mum: "Toblerone...pick up your toys and put them in the toy basket."

Toblerone: "No." (said with a smile)

Mum: "Don't tell Mama 'No'! Pick up your toys....NOW."

Toblerone: "No!" (head shaking 'No' at the same time)

Mum: "1.....2......3!"

As I get up from my chair to do some "hands on" motivation, he gets up and RUNS. The entire time he's running...he's LAUGHING. As upset as I am at him, I have a REALLY hard time keeping a straight face. He's doing this hysterical laugh! He's laughing SO hard that he has a hard time running. BUT...once I get a hold of him, he realizes that Mommy isn't joking. In case you haven't noticed, I have a hard time "physically" punishing my kids. My dad was the only one that spanked my sister and I. My mom just yelled. I'm learning, QUICKLY, that yelling doesn't work. They tune me out SO fast. I've tried time out, I've tried the "1,2,3" method. None of these work really well. The ONLY thing they respond to is the spoon (or Weenie). I really HATE using it. For those of you that have boys, I would LOVE some input on how you deal with these issues.

Another thing that Toblerone has been doing lately is barging in on you while you are in the loo. Because he can no longer be contained by anything inert (unless it's a double bolted door AND the key is somewhere he can't reach), the whole house is fair game. He seems to have this sixth sense when someone is in the bathroom. I've tried sneaking out of the room to take a quick respit. I've even tried going with NO light on....he STILL hunts you down. It's like "Jaws"....

Du nu..du nu....du nu, du nu, du nu....

*the sound of little feet clunking down the stairs*

...du nu, dunudunudunu...

*Toblerone busts through the door*

Toblerone: "MAMA! Poop?"

*sigh*..........................................................

I have no privacy.

*Ding* Fries Are Done

I know...obscure title, but since it's December, the traditional Christmas music has been shoved down our throats since Thanksgiving day (and mind you, that was only 4 days ago). Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas and I do enjoy Christmas music, but holy crap people! Does it have to be on 24/7 EVERYWHERE you go? Since traditional Christmas music gets a little old after a while, I have a tendency to find the "odd" Christmas songs. One of my favorites is, "Ding, Fries are Done". Artist: I wish I knew. Anyway, here's the link so you guys can listen to it. Yes...the guys sounds a little "special", but it's funny nonetheless.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMSaJ1KkqQI

On that note...yes...Christmas is here. We actually got into the holiday spirit the day after Thanksgiving. We re-arranged furniture, put up the tree (fake. I refuse to have a real Christmas tree until Toblerone calms down a bit), hung lights on the house and then went to decorate the tree. What did we find? BREAKABLE ornaments. When Triscuit was little, he rarely got into anything. He listened REALLY well to what we told him (*Sigh*...what happened to that?). When he was told to stay away from the tree, he did so. As for Toblerone? He seems to do the exact OPPOSITE of what you tell him to do. So, instead of risking it, we went and bought PLASTIC, shatter-proof ornaments. Good thing too. Here's what it's been like for the past 3 days.

Mum: "Toblerone! Do NOT pull on the tree!"

What does he do? Yup...he pulls on the tree. Yes, he got in trouble. Did it phase him? No. The only person that he responds to is Weenie. The only time he will respond to me is when I get the spoon.

Mum: "Toblerone! Stop throwing the ball at the tree!"

What does he do? He throws the ball at the angel on top of the tree. The kid has GREAT aim and hits the angel topper. With a hard thud, the angel lands on the floor. Good thing it was plastic.

Here's my favorite...

Mum: "Toblerone! Leave the ornaments alone!"

He turns a deaf ear. I'm yelling at him to stop. I try the "1, 2, 3" method, I try pulling him away from the tree, then I try the dreaded spanking method (and as I've mentioned, he isn't afraid of MY spankings unless the spoon is in hand). All the while, he's yelling, "Mama! Ball! Ball! Ball!!!" I try and explain that the ornaments are not balls for him to play with. What does he do? He finds another ball (I swear, he has a stash somewhere), a FOOTBALL (the most damage causing ball you can find) and begins to take aim. Before I knew it, there were at least 5 ornaments on the floor. So...guess what? All balls (of ANY kind) are NOT allowed in this house! Not until Christmas is over, anyway!

If my family is reading this....there are 3 things I want you to remember:

1. If you get Toblerone a ball, please make sure it's a Nerf ball or a stuffed ball of some sort. Yes, those can still cause damage, but at least the damage will be minimal.

2. Do NOT buy us anything breakable. Unless my boys decide they are going to mature beyond their years, the rough housing, fighting, throwing, etc...will NOT stop until they move out. Trust me....Weenie is the oldest of 5 boys. They STILL rough house when together.

3. If/When you come over and see chipped paint, spots on the floor, dirty hand prints/pencil markings on the wall, and a pile of "to be fixed" items in a corner? Remember...I have boys. As much as I try and mold them into well-behaved children, there is still that ornery streak that NEVER goes away. I love my children and I love their personalities. I wouldn't want them to be any different..but dear God in Heaven...do NOT get us anything nice! I'm sure you've heard the phrase, "And THIS is why we can't have nice things!" Well, imagine TWO of these (in human form, of course):

Was That...A Sentence?

Yay!!!! Toblerone has not only begun talking WAY more than before, but today...he ACTUALLY formed a simple sentence. I'm not REALLY thrilled on just WHAT that sentence was all about, but hey...I'm not picky.

While outside hanging up clothes on the clothes line (yes, I actually LIKE the smell of my clothes after they've been baking in the sun), Toblerone comes outside in his shirt and diaper. He tries to help me by throwing a pair of wet boxers at me and then notices something out of the corner of his eye. I'm not paying TOO much attention, after all...there isn't that much to get into out there. All of the sudden I hear...

Toblerone: "MAMA! Dod...poop!"

In case you didn't understand...."Mama! Dog..poop!"

Yes...low and behold their is our wonderful dog, Bear, popping a squat and pooping to his little hearts content. Toblerone is SO observant.

And in case you are wondering, I DID have to stop Toblerone from going to pick it up RIGHT AFTER the deed was done.

*HURP*! I was no longer hungry for dinner....

Stop Melting!

My sister surprised me this past weekend with a 3 day trip to Imperial Beach. Ahhhh....it was SUCH a nice break! We stayed at the Seacoast Inn. Apparently, the main section of the hotel was built in the 40's and the rest...I have no clue. Regardless of the "oldness" of the hotel, it was pretty clean and the staff was really nice. They will be tearing it down in February of 2009 to rebuild it. My plan was to post pictures WHILE we were there (in a taunting sort of way...as if to say "Nener nener nener....we're here and you're NOT!), but since it was so old, there was no WiFi. Oh well. When I get the copies of the pics from the sis, I will post them.

Now, on to the title of my blog. Triscuit...this kid never ceases to amaze me (and he would be kind of upset if he knew I was blogging this...so Shhhhhh!!!!). While I was working on the computer earlier this evening, he starts asking all sorts of questions. All of the sudden I hear:

Triscuit: "Arg...STOP MELTING."

Mum: "What are you talking about? What's melting?"

Triscuit: "My pee pee keeps melting to my leg."

Mum: "Ummm.....What?"

Triscuit: "My pee pee is melting to my leg and I don't like it!"

Hmmmm.....I'm going through every scenario in my mind and cannot figure out what the heck he's talking about. Finally it dons on me. It's about 78 in the house and he's wearing sweatpants. He's GOT to be hot.

Mum: "Honey...are you sweaty?"

Triscuit: "Yes."

Mum: "It's not "melting" honey, it's sticking to your leg because your hot. That will happen when you're hot. Go get some shorts on. It will stop sticking when you cool off."

Triscuit: "OK. I just don't like that feeling."

*SIGH*....why wasn't Weenie home for this? Why do these statements/questions always pop up when HE'S not around? Here's a little tip for ya....

I DON'T HAVE ONE OF THOSE!

How am I supposed to answer "those" questions?

Weenie is lucky we never had girls. I can just see him trying to explain what "menses" is....

No Shortage in the Intelligence Department

*HEAVY SIGH*...............Triscuit. Between yesterday and today, I have enough blog fodder for a whole post! Man....let me just go ahead and tell you. You may want to go pee first and finish your beverage....

Last night, Triscuit and I were having a "Battle of the Wills". He was chasing Toblerone around the house.

Mum: "TRISCUIT! Stop chasing your brother!"

Mum: "TRISCUIT! I SAID to stop chasing your brother!"

Mum: "TRISCUIT! WHAT DID I JUST SAY?"

Triscuit: "To stop chasing my brother...."

Mum: "Why didn't you stop?"

Triscuit: "Because I want to play!

In Triscuit's mind, that excuse was good enough for him, so he COMMENCES chasing Toblerone. And what happens? Toblerone slips on a rug in the kitchen and almost slams his head into the leg of the chair.

Mum: "That's IT! I told you to STOP! Now, you get to brush your teeth and get ready for bed. You ARE going to bed early!"

Triscuit: *Begins to wail*..."Mama!!! NOOOOO!!!! Please give me another chance!"

Mum: "No"

Triscuit: "Just one more chance?"

Mum: "No!"

Triscuit: "Please? Just one more chance?"

Mum: "NO!"

Triscuit: "Mama, please give me one more chance!"

Mum: "NO! If you ask me again, you will be GROUNDED!"

Triscuit: *Opens his mouth to say something...*

Mum: "BEFORE you say anything else, REPEAT what I just told you!"

Triscuit: "I will be grounded if I ask you again."

Mum: "Ask WHAT again?"

Triscuit: "If I can have another chance..."

Mum: "Now, go brush your teeth."

Triscuit: "Mama!!! PLEASE GIVE ME ONE MORE CHANCE!!!"

My mouth drops open. I can't believe he just asked again after repeating what I said! WHAT THE HECK? I don't get it!

Mum: "OK...now, you're grounded."

Triscuit: "WHY?????????" *wailing continues even louder*

Mum: "Go to your room. I REFUSE to yell over your wailing."

Triscuit: "YOU JUST DON'T WANT ME AROUND!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!"

Seriously....that's what he said....I'm NOT kidding. Can we say DRAMA KING? When I told Weenie what happened, he started laughing...then blamed the "Drama Gene" on me. He was going to get slapped when he got home, but I forgot (lucky for him).

-----------------------------

While IM'ing a friend this morning, his Internet was giving him problems. He called it his "Sh*ternet". Triscuit sees this....

Triscuit: "Mama? What does Sh*ternet mean?"

Mum: *Trying NOT to make a big deal out of it*...."What?"

Triscuit: "What does Sh*ternet mean?"

Mum: "Where did you hear that?"

Triscuit: "I read it..."

Mum: "Wher....oh. Shoot...."

Triscuit: "So?"

Mum: "It's a bad word honey. My friend isn't happy with his computer right now. It's giving him problems, so he decided to accentuate the regular word with another word (a bad word) to come across as REALLY upset."

Triscuit: "So the leaves 'Sh*tter* when their cold?"

Triscuit: *Not giving me a chance to say anything continues on....* "Sh*tiot?"

Mum: "Triscuit....say it again and you will be tasting soap until tomorrow! I don't EVER want to hear that word come out of your mouth AGAIN!"

Triscuit: "Will I be able to say bad words when I'm 35?"

Did he REALLY just ask that? Yes....he sure did!

Mum: "Do you hear me talking like that?"

Triscuit: "No..., but..."

Mum: "NO BUT'S! No...you CANNOT talk like that. It's not nice."

Triscuit: *With a sly grin on his face* "OK Mama..."

Why do I have this feeling I will be hearing this word again before the day is out?

--------------------------------------------------------

Because of all that has happened with Triscuit's probable A.D.D., I've spoken with both of his learning coaches (AKA degree holding teachers) and have been given some ideas to HELP Triscuit. Key word....HELP.

We were doing simple math yesterday...subtracting double numbers (no borrowing...just easy stuff). He KNOWS how to do this, but didn't want to put forth the effort to practice the concepts. I give him his practice sheet. He sits there staring off into space...then I hear whimpering...

Mum: "Triscuit? What's the problem?"

Triscuit: "I need help."

Mum: "What do you need help with?"

Triscuit: "98-54=?"

Mum: "Triscuit. What YOU'RE asking me to do is do the problem FOR you. I can't do that."

Triscuit: "But Mrs. L said to HELP me."

Mum: "HELPING you does NOT mean doing it FOR you..."

Triscuit: "Yes it does....she said, 'do what it takes to help him'."

Mum: "Triscuit....do your work. You can do this. Subtract the ones place first, then the tens place. Come on now...you can do it."

Triscuit does about 5 of them and gives up. So, I give him his assessment test (quiz on the chapter) and he aces it. He's the type of kid that once a concept is understood, there is NO time to practice that concept....it's on to ANOTHER concept.

Triscuit may lack the ability to focus, concentrate and sit still but he SURE doesn't lack in intelligence. I love him dearly, but he's a little booger. Weenie? I'm blaming this ALL on you.

Half Way Through....

Triscuit's initial appointment went VERY well! You have NO idea how nervous I was. I'm sure you're wondering "Why", but I guess it's just a Mommy thing. I was afraid he was going to ask, "And WHY have you waiting SO long to bring him in?" I was afraid he was going to say, "You should have gotten him help SOONER." He did nothing of the sort. Dr. Jeff Leber (the BEST pediatrician I have EVER known....even though he does work for CIGNA) has been Triscuit's pediatrician since he was born. This guy has 5 kids of his own and is very understanding. He's soft spoken yet is a very matter-of-fact kind of guy. Here is how the appointment went.

First, they weighed and measured him. He weighs 57 lbs now (YEAH!) and is 51 inches tall. He is 90th Percentile for his height and 50th percentile for his weight (he takes after Weenie). His heart and lungs sound terrific! Good ears, healthy looking eyes...good reflexes. Dr. Leber was VERY happy with his overall health. Then, came the questions.....

Dr L - "So....Why do you feel Triscuit needs to be evaluated for A.D.D?"

Mum - "The concern first surfaced his Kindergarten year...(I told him the story that I told you. I told him I didn't feel the teacher's reasoning's were valid. I told him he was then targeted the whole year as a "trouble maker" and was constantly in trouble. I told him that by the end of his kindergarten year, he didn't trust teachers, the thought of going back to school made him angry and he wanted NOTHING to do with learning. I told him that Triscuit's whole attitude changed from a happy-go-lucky little boy to an angry and frustrated not so little boy). The teacher leaned in the open window of my car and point blank said, "I think your son has A.D.D."

Dr L - *Looking perplexed* "Why would she say that? They aren't supposed to say that."

Mum - "I didn't know that at the time."

Dr L - "Was any help offered?"

Mum - "No. I told her at the time, too, that we had no health insurance. There was no way to get him tested even if I DID feel it was warranted (which I did not)."

Dr L - "He's in second grade now, right?"

Mum - "Yes"

Dr L - "What happened with his teacher in first grade and now in second grade?"

Mum - "Well, because he had such a bad experience in school, I took the initiative and decided to home school him."

Dr L - "Why?"

Mum - "I wanted him to understand that school is NOT a bad thing. I wanted him to regain his love of learning. I also wanted to SEE FOR MYSELF if, indeed, he had a problem."

Dr L - "So, what did you observe the first year?"

Mum - "There were some issues, but because of the school he is enrolled in, he DOES have a "teacher"...someone with a degree that overlooks his progress to make sure he's doing well. I worked with her throughout the year to curve some of his behaviors by trying various things. Behavior modifications, rewards, etc..."

Dr L - "How were his grades?"

Mum - "His grades were good. We started out a year behind in Phonic/Language Arts because of his Kindergarten experience...so that has always been an issue. His behaviors were so-so, but I still didn't look at it as "abnormal". To me, it just seemed like he was being a 6 year old."

Dr L - "And this year?"

Mum - "Now, THIS year is a whole different story. It started out OK, but then I just couldn't get him to focus and concentrate on the task at hand. I would have to have him take tests 2 and 3 times because he couldn't follow directions. I've had to go over the same science and history lessons 3 times because I just CANNOT get him to focus. He WILL not sit still. I've timed him. He can't sit still for more than 2 minutes. Finally, it donned on me. Maybe his Kindergarten teacher was on to something....so I began to look at him through a "teachers" eyes....and not just "mommy" eyes."

Dr L - *Smiles*

Mum - "Once I started questioning his behaviors, I could see it was impulsive...not a discipline issue."

Dr L - "What behaviors were you questioning?"

Mum - "I, first, addressed his inability to sit still. I asked him one day, "Honey...why can you NOT sit still?". He said, "I don't know, Mama....I just can't."

Dr. L - *Nods knowingly*..."I see."

Mum - "Then came the odd questions. While doing science, history, phonics....anything, he would just blurt out questions or comments about off the wall stuff....stuff that didn't pertain to the lesson. It didn't happen just a few times...this happens ALL the time."

Dr L - "What other behaviors?"

Mum - "When he IS interested in something, it is VERY difficult to get his attention AWAY from it. You literally have to YELL at him to get him to hear you. I've tested his hearing (whispering from a distance) and he seems to be able to hear just fine...it's just that he tunes you out."

Dr L - "What made you finally bring him in?"

Mum - "Every day has become a struggle. He seems to also be going through an emotional phase. He cries over EVERYTHING. When he's NOT crying, he's whining because he doesn't want to stop what he's doing. When I ask him to sit down and start school, it becomes a yelling match. I told myself, early on, that if home schooling became a dreaded thing, we would find another alternative."

Dr L - "So, it's becoming a source of contention?"

Mum - "Oh yes. I NEVER wanted it to be this way."

Dr. L - "You have some VERY valid concerns. What are you hoping to accomplish in ways of therapy if, indeed, he DOES have this?"

Mum - "I just want what is best for him. I want him to be successful in life. I want him to be able to ENJOY learning. I don't want him to be constantly told that he's "bad"...because he's not. Triscuit HATES to fail at ANYTHING and when he does, he gets REALLY upset."

Dr. L - "I understand. But what THERAPIES are you wanting or willing to try?"

Mum - "I want to be able to pursue OTHER options...rather than medication first."

Dr L - "So, you want nothing to do with medication?"

Mum - "No...I didn't say that. I said I wanted to try every other option FIRST. If THOSE options don't work, then we'll talk about it."

Dr L - "Why do you have such a poor outlook on medications?"

Mum - "I've had friends who were on Ritalin/Adderall. I've got friends with children on those meds. I do NOT like what I see. They walk around like little zombies with NO personalities. It hurts to watch. I LOVE Triscuits personality. I in NO way want that interfered with. I don't want him to be walking around with no expression on his face. It hurts just thinking about it."

Dr L - "OK. A.D.D. is NOT a cut and dry disorder. NO child has the same form. Some are better than others and some are worse than others. EACH child will respond differently. You have 4 options. You can not do anything (which never works), you can try just behavior modification (which sometimes works), you can try just medication (which sometimes works) or you can try medication AND behavior modification. The latter option usually works the best. Please don't be closed minded on the medication aspect of the therapy. You DO have a valid concern. I understand where you are coming from, but because Triscuit isn't like all the other kids, he will respond differently than others. No ONE child is the same."

Mum - "I understand that. I just wanted you to understand where I was coming from, too. I just want what's best for him. I will do anything and everything in my power to help him. That's my job as a mother. Even if that means us putting him back into a public school if I cannot offer him the help he needs at home."

Dr L - "First of all, you did a very smart thing. Taking him OUT of the public school setting was the BEST thing you could have done for him. Most A.D.D. children THRIVE on one-on-one attention....so at this point, I think it wouldn't be the best thing to put him BACK in a "normal" school. For you to make the sacrifice to home school him and see FOR YOURSELF if, indeed, there was a problem, tells me right there that you are willing to do whatever it takes for your child to be the best he can be. I commend you for that. Now....if you are so exasperated because of this issue (which by NO means says you are weak), it's understandable. Children with A.D.D. are often difficult to handle. I do feel you have some definite and valid concerns. I'm going to have you schedule an appointment with Mary Coontz....our behavioral specialist. She used to be a teacher also, so she understands, developmentally where they are supposed to be at certain ages (in academics). What I need you to do is do as MUCH research as you can on this before your appointment with her. The more information you are armed with the better it will be for HER to understand Triscuit."

Mum - "Thank you SO much. You have no idea how apprehensive I was to bring him. I thought you were going to spend 5 minutes with him and then say, "Yup...he has it" then give me a pill. I didn't want that for him. It's nice to know that more time is taken to determine the reality of the disorder!"

Dr L - "Yeah...we don't do that here. It has to be a TRUE diagnosis....and for a TRUE diagnosis to happen, testing HAS to be done."

He begins a conversation with Triscuit about what his favorite subject is. The conversation turns to his brother.

Dr L - *Looking at me*..."I didn't know you had another son?"

Mum - "Yeah. He's 2 years 5 months old"

Triscuit mentioned that Toblerone beats up on him

Dr L - "Why does little brother beat up on BIG brother? Isn't it supposed to be the other way around (said laughing)?"

Mum - "Well....you've never seen Toblerone so you wouldn't know. He's 2 years 5 months, 3'7 and 45 pounds."

Dr L - *Jaw drops*

Mum - *Smiling*...."He comes by it honestly. Daddy's side of the family? VERY tall"

Dr L - "Well, they BOTH need to have physicals done. I'm not saying anythings wrong...I just want to see this kid for MYSELF!"

Mum - "Mentally, he's a normal 2 year old. Physically? He's 4 and 1/2."

Dr L - *shaking his head in amazement*..."I look forward to seeing him."

So....at this point, I have an appointment set with Mary Coontz on December 16th at 9:00am. The initial appointment will be with just me. After that, she will have one with just Triscuit...to see how he does without mommy around (which makes sense). After THAT...we will know for sure.

I know this was a long post, and I appreciate you all reading this. Now, I have my work cut out for me. I need to do some observations on Triscuit (through teachers eyes). I also need to get with his teacher through AZVA and his Title 1 Reading teacher to see if there is anything they can give me, in writing, to support what I'm saying.

Thank you ALL for your kind words, support and encouragement. I appreciate everything each of you have said! As always, I will keep you updated!

A Dreaded Realization

This is going to be somewhat of a serious post. So, if you aren't interested in being serious right now, I suggest you follow the links I have on the right hand side of the page....trust me, they will make you laugh!

As MOST of you know, I home school Triscuit. There were two main reasons I decided to do so. Let me explain.

When it came time for Triscuit to start Kindergarten, he was so excited (as was I). I wanted him to start his schooling off on a POSITIVE note. He was excited to learn and very excited to be with kids his own age. The first few months went well. Then, one day, his teacher (I will refrain from naming names) came up to my car as I was waiting for Triscuit to get out for the day. She leans in the open window and says these exact words, "I think Triscuit has A.D.D. or A.D.H.D". I was dumbfounded. I knew it could be a possibility because Weenie was diagnosed with it (in his 20's....after it was too late to help him in school). What floored me was she was pretty much diagnosing him WITHOUT a medical degree AND she was saying that to me after 2 months of knowing my FIVE YEAR OLD SON (granted...he had JUST turned 5 a few weeks before school started). She gave examples to me that didn't make sense. What she would describe were behaviors that were TYPICAL of a 5 year old boy. After speaking with a few friends that happened to BE teachers (they too, were flabbergasted) they told me that they felt he DIDN'T have it (based on the kindergarten teachers reasoning's). After I told his kindergarten teacher, in so many words, to back off and that I wasn't GOING to get him tested....she tuned ME out and "gave up on" Triscuit. After that, Triscuit was constantly in trouble. He rarely had recess because he was always being punished. Around Christmas time of that year, he began to beg me..."Mama...I don't WANT to go to school!" I would ask him why and he would say, "I'm always in trouble. The teacher doesn't like me and the kids are mean to me." As the school year progressed, he became very frustrated and angry. He would start acting up at home and began lashing out. Towards the END of the school year, I began to talk to other parents that had their kids with her as well. I would hear the SAME stories from them. Over half of her class was on a behavioral plan. She would often show favoritism to the girls. Need I go on? Let's just say, this lady does NOT belong in a teaching position....not to just kids but to ANYONE. I'm thinking padded room and a straight jacket for her (yes, I know...that's my anger speaking).

I began looking for other alternatives. I started looking into private schools....too expensive. I started looking into charter schools....too full. At the time, my sister was home schooling "B" and suggested AZVA (Arizona Virtual Academy). So, after much discussion with Weenie, we decided to home school him. HERE are the reasons:
1) Because his kindergarten teacher was such a ...(I'm not finishing that), he lost his love of school. He wanted NOTHING to do with learning. He HATED school. I wanted to show him that school could be FUN. I wanted to restore his faith in teachers. I wanted him to see that although school is a MUST, it shouldn't be something that's dreaded.
2) Since his teacher was so "positive" that he HAD ADD, I wanted to see FOR MYSELF if, indeed, he was having problems.

We began homeschooling his first grade year. Although I was the one giving the lessons, I technically am NOT a teacher. Instead, they assign every child that is learning from home an actual teacher. That person takes examples EVERY month of what they are doing and evaluates the progress based on the on-line lesson plans. The teacher he had (and still has this year too) was SUCH a God send. She helped me out SO much the first year. His first grade year went rather well. The only draw back was because Triscuit's kindergarten teacher gave up on him, he never really learned phonics/language arts. We began his first grade year on kindergarten phonics/language arts materials. Triscuit gradually became more interested in school and began looking FORWARD to doing school.

Let's forward to THIS year.

I began this year with a "list of rules" that Triscuit was to follow. Before school even started for the day, we would go over those rules. The first few weeks of his second grade year were OK. They weren't great, but we were getting through the material and he was understanding everything he needed to be. Then, life became a little more difficult. He hit this stage of crying over EVERYTHING. You looked at him wrong and he would cry. Ren Ren warned me of this stage a week PRIOR to him actually hitting it (thanks Ren Ren....I say that in the most SARCASTIC way possible). One of our rules were, "sit correctly in your chair...feet on the floor butt in the chair". Another rule was, "raise your hand if you need to say something or have a question". These TWO rules were particularly hard for him to follow. For a while, I was getting REALLY upset with him. I went as far as to ground him for NOT following rules. I had him have talks with Weenie about his behavior. Regardless of WHAT we did to deter him from misbehaving, NOTHING was working. It donned on me. "What if his kindergarten teacher was right?" So, I began to really OBSERVE his behavior...not from the "mommy" eyes, but from a "teachers" eyes. I could NOT get him to sit still for more than 2 minutes (I timed it). He would constantly interrupt me with loud outbursts on things that didn't even pertain to school. Worst of all, during tests, he would read the directions, but do the test as he INTERPRETED it. For example, if the directions state to circle the mistake in the sentence and re-write the sentence correctly, he would only do the "circle the mistake" part of the directions. I've had him take tests 2 and 3 times because he cannot follow directions. I've gone as far as to change his diet to NO sugar before school (and then limited AFTER school) as well as having him RUN and play BEFORE we start school. NOTHING was helping. Finally, I e-mailed his teacher with my concerns. During our conference call yesterday (even though I was crying feeling like the WORST mother on the face of the earth because I actually PUNISHED him for impulse behavior) she put my mind at ease. She gave me some suggestions as to what could help him. She said that State Law PROHIBITS her from suggesting to us to get Triscuit tested...but she did say that I had some valid concerns. She is SUCH a wonderful teacher. I love her dearly! If only ALL teachers were this caring of their students!

When Weenie got home last night, we discussed the situation. MY concern (as was his, my family's, HIS family's and Ren Ren's) was IF he was diagnosed with it, they were going to put him on meds that would cause him to become a Zombie. I love Triscuits personality. I do NOT want ANYTHING to interfere with that. I told his teacher during our conference call that I will try EVERYTHING in my power to help him WITHOUT having to resort to meds. I was told that there ARE things we can try first. There ARE other avenues to venture down. So, Weenie and I decided to get him tested.

I called to make the appointment this morning. While discussing the reason for his visit with the nurse, she asked me why I thought he had A.D.D. I told her the shortened version of the above story. I told her that I wanted to see FOR MYSELF if he had a problem. I told her that I can't ignore what I'm seeing. She said, "You home schooling him to find out FOR YOURSELF if he indeed was having issues, has to be one of the SMARTEST things I've heard in a while." That helped me feel less guilty. She explained the process. First, we will see his Pediatrician and discuss our concerns. IF he feels our concerns are valid, then he will make us an appointment with a behavioral specialist. The specialist will put him through tests. IF HE IS DIAGNOSED WITH A.D.D., there ARE other alternatives to try before medication is suggested! You have NO idea how relieved I feel right now. Not only did it restore my faith in the diagnosing of A.D.D. (because you HAVE to admit, there are WAY too many parents that have their kids on meds because of their "normal" behavior) but it restored my faith in the DOCTORS. It's nice to know that they are now offering alternative therapies....

While speaking with my Mom and Dad yesterday, I told them about something I had found on the Internet. It was a bilingual drop that is supposed to help with A.D.D. There were many testimonials on the product. I wanted to give it a shot, but it was SO freakin' expensive. While talking with them, my Dad says, "You should be getting a package in a few days." I said, "What? What did you do?" He said, "I bought you three months worth." I started to cry. I told him that it was WAY too expensive. My mom said, "Your Father has spoken...drop it." I have the best parents in the world!!!
So, once these appointments are over with and the drops come in, I will keep you all updated on what we find out and if the drops help his behavior.

If you read this whole post, I appreciate you taking the time to do so. If my situation can help just ONE person do what is best for their kid(s), then my time blogging this has NOT been wasted!

New Phrases

With a title like that, I'm sure you're thinking "This has to be about Toblerone." Umm...no. Try again.

This year in school, Triscuit is learning a BUNCH of new words (as well as learning how to spell). Last Friday (before Trick or Treating), Triscuit was doing his Title 1 program through Compass Learning (computer based reading and phonics program). Defect was ONE of the words.

After Trick or Treating, we were sitting around in front of my sisters house talking with her and some other friends. It has been 4 months since they (the friends) had seen the boys and were commenting on just how BIG they had gotten. One person was flabbergasted while looking at Toblerone. All the sudden we hear:

Triscuit: "Yes, my brother is defective."

The friend says, "Did you just say "Your brother is defective?"

Triscuit: *with a smile* "Yes."

Trying NOT to laugh, I say: "Triscuit! That's not nice! Why would you say that?"

No answer comes from Triscuit....just an ornery smile.

Saturday comes around and we are out and about doing errands. We have to go to my husbands work to scan and e-mail Triscuit's work samples for November (requirement for AZVA). We decide to go eat at Taco Smell (Bell) before we start slashing away at the errand list. While at Taco Smell, Weenie and I start discussing the trip we have planned for Disneyland Halloween 2009. During a pause in the conversation, we hear:

Triscuit: "Roller coasters SUCK!"

I look at Weenie and he's looking at me....he's trying not to spit his Enchirito out all over the place. Then, he points...TO ME.

I have to admit, my personality is very, VERY dry and sarcastic (in case you haven't noticed). When I hear something that I don't like, I will often say, "Well.....THAT sucks!" Yes...I am to blame for that one.

We try and explain to Triscuit that roller coasters do NOT suck. They can be scary, but it's a fun scary (especially at Disneyland).

Triscuit: "Well, I don't want to go on the crappy roller coasters!"

*SIGH*.....I'm thinking, "OH CRAP! He got that from me, too!"

Weenie is giving me this "look" as if to say, "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

And, he's right.

After the majority of our errands are complete, we are at Wal-Fart looking at different Christmas decorations (Christmas will be hosted at OUR house this year. Last year's Christmas was a very difficult one. In a way, I KNEW it would be our last one with my Grandmother. Since this year will be the first WITHOUT my Grandmother, I'm trying to make it as happy as possible for everyone). While in the Christmas section, Triscuit says:

Triscuit: "Are your parental units coming down for Christmas?"

I'm thinking, "WHAT?" Then I remember....oh yeah, I use that expression too.

You don't realize just WHAT you say until your children repeat it BACK to you.

I got THIS message from Weenie yesterday:

Message received....LOUD AND CLEAR!