No Shortage in the Intelligence Department

*HEAVY SIGH*...............Triscuit. Between yesterday and today, I have enough blog fodder for a whole post! Man....let me just go ahead and tell you. You may want to go pee first and finish your beverage....

Last night, Triscuit and I were having a "Battle of the Wills". He was chasing Toblerone around the house.

Mum: "TRISCUIT! Stop chasing your brother!"

Mum: "TRISCUIT! I SAID to stop chasing your brother!"

Mum: "TRISCUIT! WHAT DID I JUST SAY?"

Triscuit: "To stop chasing my brother...."

Mum: "Why didn't you stop?"

Triscuit: "Because I want to play!

In Triscuit's mind, that excuse was good enough for him, so he COMMENCES chasing Toblerone. And what happens? Toblerone slips on a rug in the kitchen and almost slams his head into the leg of the chair.

Mum: "That's IT! I told you to STOP! Now, you get to brush your teeth and get ready for bed. You ARE going to bed early!"

Triscuit: *Begins to wail*..."Mama!!! NOOOOO!!!! Please give me another chance!"

Mum: "No"

Triscuit: "Just one more chance?"

Mum: "No!"

Triscuit: "Please? Just one more chance?"

Mum: "NO!"

Triscuit: "Mama, please give me one more chance!"

Mum: "NO! If you ask me again, you will be GROUNDED!"

Triscuit: *Opens his mouth to say something...*

Mum: "BEFORE you say anything else, REPEAT what I just told you!"

Triscuit: "I will be grounded if I ask you again."

Mum: "Ask WHAT again?"

Triscuit: "If I can have another chance..."

Mum: "Now, go brush your teeth."

Triscuit: "Mama!!! PLEASE GIVE ME ONE MORE CHANCE!!!"

My mouth drops open. I can't believe he just asked again after repeating what I said! WHAT THE HECK? I don't get it!

Mum: "OK...now, you're grounded."

Triscuit: "WHY?????????" *wailing continues even louder*

Mum: "Go to your room. I REFUSE to yell over your wailing."

Triscuit: "YOU JUST DON'T WANT ME AROUND!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!"

Seriously....that's what he said....I'm NOT kidding. Can we say DRAMA KING? When I told Weenie what happened, he started laughing...then blamed the "Drama Gene" on me. He was going to get slapped when he got home, but I forgot (lucky for him).

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While IM'ing a friend this morning, his Internet was giving him problems. He called it his "Sh*ternet". Triscuit sees this....

Triscuit: "Mama? What does Sh*ternet mean?"

Mum: *Trying NOT to make a big deal out of it*...."What?"

Triscuit: "What does Sh*ternet mean?"

Mum: "Where did you hear that?"

Triscuit: "I read it..."

Mum: "Wher....oh. Shoot...."

Triscuit: "So?"

Mum: "It's a bad word honey. My friend isn't happy with his computer right now. It's giving him problems, so he decided to accentuate the regular word with another word (a bad word) to come across as REALLY upset."

Triscuit: "So the leaves 'Sh*tter* when their cold?"

Triscuit: *Not giving me a chance to say anything continues on....* "Sh*tiot?"

Mum: "Triscuit....say it again and you will be tasting soap until tomorrow! I don't EVER want to hear that word come out of your mouth AGAIN!"

Triscuit: "Will I be able to say bad words when I'm 35?"

Did he REALLY just ask that? Yes....he sure did!

Mum: "Do you hear me talking like that?"

Triscuit: "No..., but..."

Mum: "NO BUT'S! No...you CANNOT talk like that. It's not nice."

Triscuit: *With a sly grin on his face* "OK Mama..."

Why do I have this feeling I will be hearing this word again before the day is out?

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Because of all that has happened with Triscuit's probable A.D.D., I've spoken with both of his learning coaches (AKA degree holding teachers) and have been given some ideas to HELP Triscuit. Key word....HELP.

We were doing simple math yesterday...subtracting double numbers (no borrowing...just easy stuff). He KNOWS how to do this, but didn't want to put forth the effort to practice the concepts. I give him his practice sheet. He sits there staring off into space...then I hear whimpering...

Mum: "Triscuit? What's the problem?"

Triscuit: "I need help."

Mum: "What do you need help with?"

Triscuit: "98-54=?"

Mum: "Triscuit. What YOU'RE asking me to do is do the problem FOR you. I can't do that."

Triscuit: "But Mrs. L said to HELP me."

Mum: "HELPING you does NOT mean doing it FOR you..."

Triscuit: "Yes it does....she said, 'do what it takes to help him'."

Mum: "Triscuit....do your work. You can do this. Subtract the ones place first, then the tens place. Come on now...you can do it."

Triscuit does about 5 of them and gives up. So, I give him his assessment test (quiz on the chapter) and he aces it. He's the type of kid that once a concept is understood, there is NO time to practice that concept....it's on to ANOTHER concept.

Triscuit may lack the ability to focus, concentrate and sit still but he SURE doesn't lack in intelligence. I love him dearly, but he's a little booger. Weenie? I'm blaming this ALL on you.