Half Way Through....

Triscuit's initial appointment went VERY well! You have NO idea how nervous I was. I'm sure you're wondering "Why", but I guess it's just a Mommy thing. I was afraid he was going to ask, "And WHY have you waiting SO long to bring him in?" I was afraid he was going to say, "You should have gotten him help SOONER." He did nothing of the sort. Dr. Jeff Leber (the BEST pediatrician I have EVER known....even though he does work for CIGNA) has been Triscuit's pediatrician since he was born. This guy has 5 kids of his own and is very understanding. He's soft spoken yet is a very matter-of-fact kind of guy. Here is how the appointment went.

First, they weighed and measured him. He weighs 57 lbs now (YEAH!) and is 51 inches tall. He is 90th Percentile for his height and 50th percentile for his weight (he takes after Weenie). His heart and lungs sound terrific! Good ears, healthy looking eyes...good reflexes. Dr. Leber was VERY happy with his overall health. Then, came the questions.....

Dr L - "So....Why do you feel Triscuit needs to be evaluated for A.D.D?"

Mum - "The concern first surfaced his Kindergarten year...(I told him the story that I told you. I told him I didn't feel the teacher's reasoning's were valid. I told him he was then targeted the whole year as a "trouble maker" and was constantly in trouble. I told him that by the end of his kindergarten year, he didn't trust teachers, the thought of going back to school made him angry and he wanted NOTHING to do with learning. I told him that Triscuit's whole attitude changed from a happy-go-lucky little boy to an angry and frustrated not so little boy). The teacher leaned in the open window of my car and point blank said, "I think your son has A.D.D."

Dr L - *Looking perplexed* "Why would she say that? They aren't supposed to say that."

Mum - "I didn't know that at the time."

Dr L - "Was any help offered?"

Mum - "No. I told her at the time, too, that we had no health insurance. There was no way to get him tested even if I DID feel it was warranted (which I did not)."

Dr L - "He's in second grade now, right?"

Mum - "Yes"

Dr L - "What happened with his teacher in first grade and now in second grade?"

Mum - "Well, because he had such a bad experience in school, I took the initiative and decided to home school him."

Dr L - "Why?"

Mum - "I wanted him to understand that school is NOT a bad thing. I wanted him to regain his love of learning. I also wanted to SEE FOR MYSELF if, indeed, he had a problem."

Dr L - "So, what did you observe the first year?"

Mum - "There were some issues, but because of the school he is enrolled in, he DOES have a "teacher"...someone with a degree that overlooks his progress to make sure he's doing well. I worked with her throughout the year to curve some of his behaviors by trying various things. Behavior modifications, rewards, etc..."

Dr L - "How were his grades?"

Mum - "His grades were good. We started out a year behind in Phonic/Language Arts because of his Kindergarten experience...so that has always been an issue. His behaviors were so-so, but I still didn't look at it as "abnormal". To me, it just seemed like he was being a 6 year old."

Dr L - "And this year?"

Mum - "Now, THIS year is a whole different story. It started out OK, but then I just couldn't get him to focus and concentrate on the task at hand. I would have to have him take tests 2 and 3 times because he couldn't follow directions. I've had to go over the same science and history lessons 3 times because I just CANNOT get him to focus. He WILL not sit still. I've timed him. He can't sit still for more than 2 minutes. Finally, it donned on me. Maybe his Kindergarten teacher was on to something....so I began to look at him through a "teachers" eyes....and not just "mommy" eyes."

Dr L - *Smiles*

Mum - "Once I started questioning his behaviors, I could see it was impulsive...not a discipline issue."

Dr L - "What behaviors were you questioning?"

Mum - "I, first, addressed his inability to sit still. I asked him one day, "Honey...why can you NOT sit still?". He said, "I don't know, Mama....I just can't."

Dr. L - *Nods knowingly*..."I see."

Mum - "Then came the odd questions. While doing science, history, phonics....anything, he would just blurt out questions or comments about off the wall stuff....stuff that didn't pertain to the lesson. It didn't happen just a few times...this happens ALL the time."

Dr L - "What other behaviors?"

Mum - "When he IS interested in something, it is VERY difficult to get his attention AWAY from it. You literally have to YELL at him to get him to hear you. I've tested his hearing (whispering from a distance) and he seems to be able to hear just fine...it's just that he tunes you out."

Dr L - "What made you finally bring him in?"

Mum - "Every day has become a struggle. He seems to also be going through an emotional phase. He cries over EVERYTHING. When he's NOT crying, he's whining because he doesn't want to stop what he's doing. When I ask him to sit down and start school, it becomes a yelling match. I told myself, early on, that if home schooling became a dreaded thing, we would find another alternative."

Dr L - "So, it's becoming a source of contention?"

Mum - "Oh yes. I NEVER wanted it to be this way."

Dr. L - "You have some VERY valid concerns. What are you hoping to accomplish in ways of therapy if, indeed, he DOES have this?"

Mum - "I just want what is best for him. I want him to be successful in life. I want him to be able to ENJOY learning. I don't want him to be constantly told that he's "bad"...because he's not. Triscuit HATES to fail at ANYTHING and when he does, he gets REALLY upset."

Dr. L - "I understand. But what THERAPIES are you wanting or willing to try?"

Mum - "I want to be able to pursue OTHER options...rather than medication first."

Dr L - "So, you want nothing to do with medication?"

Mum - "No...I didn't say that. I said I wanted to try every other option FIRST. If THOSE options don't work, then we'll talk about it."

Dr L - "Why do you have such a poor outlook on medications?"

Mum - "I've had friends who were on Ritalin/Adderall. I've got friends with children on those meds. I do NOT like what I see. They walk around like little zombies with NO personalities. It hurts to watch. I LOVE Triscuits personality. I in NO way want that interfered with. I don't want him to be walking around with no expression on his face. It hurts just thinking about it."

Dr L - "OK. A.D.D. is NOT a cut and dry disorder. NO child has the same form. Some are better than others and some are worse than others. EACH child will respond differently. You have 4 options. You can not do anything (which never works), you can try just behavior modification (which sometimes works), you can try just medication (which sometimes works) or you can try medication AND behavior modification. The latter option usually works the best. Please don't be closed minded on the medication aspect of the therapy. You DO have a valid concern. I understand where you are coming from, but because Triscuit isn't like all the other kids, he will respond differently than others. No ONE child is the same."

Mum - "I understand that. I just wanted you to understand where I was coming from, too. I just want what's best for him. I will do anything and everything in my power to help him. That's my job as a mother. Even if that means us putting him back into a public school if I cannot offer him the help he needs at home."

Dr L - "First of all, you did a very smart thing. Taking him OUT of the public school setting was the BEST thing you could have done for him. Most A.D.D. children THRIVE on one-on-one attention....so at this point, I think it wouldn't be the best thing to put him BACK in a "normal" school. For you to make the sacrifice to home school him and see FOR YOURSELF if, indeed, there was a problem, tells me right there that you are willing to do whatever it takes for your child to be the best he can be. I commend you for that. Now....if you are so exasperated because of this issue (which by NO means says you are weak), it's understandable. Children with A.D.D. are often difficult to handle. I do feel you have some definite and valid concerns. I'm going to have you schedule an appointment with Mary Coontz....our behavioral specialist. She used to be a teacher also, so she understands, developmentally where they are supposed to be at certain ages (in academics). What I need you to do is do as MUCH research as you can on this before your appointment with her. The more information you are armed with the better it will be for HER to understand Triscuit."

Mum - "Thank you SO much. You have no idea how apprehensive I was to bring him. I thought you were going to spend 5 minutes with him and then say, "Yup...he has it" then give me a pill. I didn't want that for him. It's nice to know that more time is taken to determine the reality of the disorder!"

Dr L - "Yeah...we don't do that here. It has to be a TRUE diagnosis....and for a TRUE diagnosis to happen, testing HAS to be done."

He begins a conversation with Triscuit about what his favorite subject is. The conversation turns to his brother.

Dr L - *Looking at me*..."I didn't know you had another son?"

Mum - "Yeah. He's 2 years 5 months old"

Triscuit mentioned that Toblerone beats up on him

Dr L - "Why does little brother beat up on BIG brother? Isn't it supposed to be the other way around (said laughing)?"

Mum - "Well....you've never seen Toblerone so you wouldn't know. He's 2 years 5 months, 3'7 and 45 pounds."

Dr L - *Jaw drops*

Mum - *Smiling*...."He comes by it honestly. Daddy's side of the family? VERY tall"

Dr L - "Well, they BOTH need to have physicals done. I'm not saying anythings wrong...I just want to see this kid for MYSELF!"

Mum - "Mentally, he's a normal 2 year old. Physically? He's 4 and 1/2."

Dr L - *shaking his head in amazement*..."I look forward to seeing him."

So....at this point, I have an appointment set with Mary Coontz on December 16th at 9:00am. The initial appointment will be with just me. After that, she will have one with just Triscuit...to see how he does without mommy around (which makes sense). After THAT...we will know for sure.

I know this was a long post, and I appreciate you all reading this. Now, I have my work cut out for me. I need to do some observations on Triscuit (through teachers eyes). I also need to get with his teacher through AZVA and his Title 1 Reading teacher to see if there is anything they can give me, in writing, to support what I'm saying.

Thank you ALL for your kind words, support and encouragement. I appreciate everything each of you have said! As always, I will keep you updated!