A Dreaded Realization

This is going to be somewhat of a serious post. So, if you aren't interested in being serious right now, I suggest you follow the links I have on the right hand side of the page....trust me, they will make you laugh!

As MOST of you know, I home school Triscuit. There were two main reasons I decided to do so. Let me explain.

When it came time for Triscuit to start Kindergarten, he was so excited (as was I). I wanted him to start his schooling off on a POSITIVE note. He was excited to learn and very excited to be with kids his own age. The first few months went well. Then, one day, his teacher (I will refrain from naming names) came up to my car as I was waiting for Triscuit to get out for the day. She leans in the open window and says these exact words, "I think Triscuit has A.D.D. or A.D.H.D". I was dumbfounded. I knew it could be a possibility because Weenie was diagnosed with it (in his 20's....after it was too late to help him in school). What floored me was she was pretty much diagnosing him WITHOUT a medical degree AND she was saying that to me after 2 months of knowing my FIVE YEAR OLD SON (granted...he had JUST turned 5 a few weeks before school started). She gave examples to me that didn't make sense. What she would describe were behaviors that were TYPICAL of a 5 year old boy. After speaking with a few friends that happened to BE teachers (they too, were flabbergasted) they told me that they felt he DIDN'T have it (based on the kindergarten teachers reasoning's). After I told his kindergarten teacher, in so many words, to back off and that I wasn't GOING to get him tested....she tuned ME out and "gave up on" Triscuit. After that, Triscuit was constantly in trouble. He rarely had recess because he was always being punished. Around Christmas time of that year, he began to beg me..."Mama...I don't WANT to go to school!" I would ask him why and he would say, "I'm always in trouble. The teacher doesn't like me and the kids are mean to me." As the school year progressed, he became very frustrated and angry. He would start acting up at home and began lashing out. Towards the END of the school year, I began to talk to other parents that had their kids with her as well. I would hear the SAME stories from them. Over half of her class was on a behavioral plan. She would often show favoritism to the girls. Need I go on? Let's just say, this lady does NOT belong in a teaching position....not to just kids but to ANYONE. I'm thinking padded room and a straight jacket for her (yes, I know...that's my anger speaking).

I began looking for other alternatives. I started looking into private schools....too expensive. I started looking into charter schools....too full. At the time, my sister was home schooling "B" and suggested AZVA (Arizona Virtual Academy). So, after much discussion with Weenie, we decided to home school him. HERE are the reasons:
1) Because his kindergarten teacher was such a ...(I'm not finishing that), he lost his love of school. He wanted NOTHING to do with learning. He HATED school. I wanted to show him that school could be FUN. I wanted to restore his faith in teachers. I wanted him to see that although school is a MUST, it shouldn't be something that's dreaded.
2) Since his teacher was so "positive" that he HAD ADD, I wanted to see FOR MYSELF if, indeed, he was having problems.

We began homeschooling his first grade year. Although I was the one giving the lessons, I technically am NOT a teacher. Instead, they assign every child that is learning from home an actual teacher. That person takes examples EVERY month of what they are doing and evaluates the progress based on the on-line lesson plans. The teacher he had (and still has this year too) was SUCH a God send. She helped me out SO much the first year. His first grade year went rather well. The only draw back was because Triscuit's kindergarten teacher gave up on him, he never really learned phonics/language arts. We began his first grade year on kindergarten phonics/language arts materials. Triscuit gradually became more interested in school and began looking FORWARD to doing school.

Let's forward to THIS year.

I began this year with a "list of rules" that Triscuit was to follow. Before school even started for the day, we would go over those rules. The first few weeks of his second grade year were OK. They weren't great, but we were getting through the material and he was understanding everything he needed to be. Then, life became a little more difficult. He hit this stage of crying over EVERYTHING. You looked at him wrong and he would cry. Ren Ren warned me of this stage a week PRIOR to him actually hitting it (thanks Ren Ren....I say that in the most SARCASTIC way possible). One of our rules were, "sit correctly in your chair...feet on the floor butt in the chair". Another rule was, "raise your hand if you need to say something or have a question". These TWO rules were particularly hard for him to follow. For a while, I was getting REALLY upset with him. I went as far as to ground him for NOT following rules. I had him have talks with Weenie about his behavior. Regardless of WHAT we did to deter him from misbehaving, NOTHING was working. It donned on me. "What if his kindergarten teacher was right?" So, I began to really OBSERVE his behavior...not from the "mommy" eyes, but from a "teachers" eyes. I could NOT get him to sit still for more than 2 minutes (I timed it). He would constantly interrupt me with loud outbursts on things that didn't even pertain to school. Worst of all, during tests, he would read the directions, but do the test as he INTERPRETED it. For example, if the directions state to circle the mistake in the sentence and re-write the sentence correctly, he would only do the "circle the mistake" part of the directions. I've had him take tests 2 and 3 times because he cannot follow directions. I've gone as far as to change his diet to NO sugar before school (and then limited AFTER school) as well as having him RUN and play BEFORE we start school. NOTHING was helping. Finally, I e-mailed his teacher with my concerns. During our conference call yesterday (even though I was crying feeling like the WORST mother on the face of the earth because I actually PUNISHED him for impulse behavior) she put my mind at ease. She gave me some suggestions as to what could help him. She said that State Law PROHIBITS her from suggesting to us to get Triscuit tested...but she did say that I had some valid concerns. She is SUCH a wonderful teacher. I love her dearly! If only ALL teachers were this caring of their students!

When Weenie got home last night, we discussed the situation. MY concern (as was his, my family's, HIS family's and Ren Ren's) was IF he was diagnosed with it, they were going to put him on meds that would cause him to become a Zombie. I love Triscuits personality. I do NOT want ANYTHING to interfere with that. I told his teacher during our conference call that I will try EVERYTHING in my power to help him WITHOUT having to resort to meds. I was told that there ARE things we can try first. There ARE other avenues to venture down. So, Weenie and I decided to get him tested.

I called to make the appointment this morning. While discussing the reason for his visit with the nurse, she asked me why I thought he had A.D.D. I told her the shortened version of the above story. I told her that I wanted to see FOR MYSELF if he had a problem. I told her that I can't ignore what I'm seeing. She said, "You home schooling him to find out FOR YOURSELF if he indeed was having issues, has to be one of the SMARTEST things I've heard in a while." That helped me feel less guilty. She explained the process. First, we will see his Pediatrician and discuss our concerns. IF he feels our concerns are valid, then he will make us an appointment with a behavioral specialist. The specialist will put him through tests. IF HE IS DIAGNOSED WITH A.D.D., there ARE other alternatives to try before medication is suggested! You have NO idea how relieved I feel right now. Not only did it restore my faith in the diagnosing of A.D.D. (because you HAVE to admit, there are WAY too many parents that have their kids on meds because of their "normal" behavior) but it restored my faith in the DOCTORS. It's nice to know that they are now offering alternative therapies....

While speaking with my Mom and Dad yesterday, I told them about something I had found on the Internet. It was a bilingual drop that is supposed to help with A.D.D. There were many testimonials on the product. I wanted to give it a shot, but it was SO freakin' expensive. While talking with them, my Dad says, "You should be getting a package in a few days." I said, "What? What did you do?" He said, "I bought you three months worth." I started to cry. I told him that it was WAY too expensive. My mom said, "Your Father has spoken...drop it." I have the best parents in the world!!!
So, once these appointments are over with and the drops come in, I will keep you all updated on what we find out and if the drops help his behavior.

If you read this whole post, I appreciate you taking the time to do so. If my situation can help just ONE person do what is best for their kid(s), then my time blogging this has NOT been wasted!