Hickeys

When I was a kid (I don't know about you all), I used to suck on my arms and give myself hickeys (before I KNEW what they were). I don't know if this is a genetic trait or just a kid thing, but Triscuit started doing this.

Two days ago, he walks past me and I see this thing on his upper arm.

Mum: "Hey, Triscuit. Come here."

Triscuit: "Yeah, Mom? Whassup?"

Mum: *Grabs his arm*..."What's this?"

Triscuit: "Oh...I sucked on my arm and this is what happened. Isn't it cool?"

Mum: "Do you know what we call that?"

Triscuit: "No...what?"

Mum: "We call those things Hickeys."

Triscuit: "Oh. Are they bad?"

Mum: "Well, that depends."

Triscuit: *Inquisitive look*

Mum: "Imagine yourself with a girlfriend...."

Triscuit: "MOOOOM! Ewww."

Mum: "No...bear with me. Imagine yourself in a few years having a girlfriend. Let's say you guys are kissing...."

Triscuit: "MOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!"

He tries to run away, but I grab him.

Mum: "I'm trying to be serious, Triscuit. You need to hear this."

Triscuit: *Turning red* "But, I don't wanna talk about this."

Mum: "You have to learn SOMETIME! OK...I'll skip the details. If I see one of these on your neck, we're going to have one SERIOUS talk, little man."

Triscuit: "Girls suck on your neck? GROSS!"

Mum: *Laughing* "You say that NOW! Just you wait."

This whole time, I didn't realize Toblerone was listening.

Toblerone: "If a giwl giveth you a hickey, we're going to 'retht (arrest) her and put her in jaiw."

Mum: "I don't know about jail, but you and the girl will be under watchful eyes for quite some time."

Toblerone: "That'th icky."

Mum: "Remember this conversation Toblerone, because your day is coming, too."

Toblerone: "Nuh uh. I don't like giwlth (girls)."

Mum: "But Mommy's a girl."

Toblerone: "Ewww."

Now, he's wiping off my kisses.

What am I doing about this, you ask? I make SURE my lips are EXTRA wet. The sloppier the kiss, the more it irritates him. HA! Don't you say "ewww" to ME anymore. I will make sure you know what "Ewww" REALLY means. Stinker.