I'm going to go off of the usual subjects (Triscuit and Toblerone) and post about me. I know that most of my readers know me better than I know myself, so I thought I would invite you in on a very important evening in my life....the "Last Horrah", as I call it. And yes, I'm armed with my camera.
Imagine...it's my last weekend of freedom, before this middle aged Mum of Two decides to take a risk and improve her life and the life of her family. So, I gather my two main ladies...my sister "Nani" and my really good, awesome, supportive, funny friend "Witha" (as Toblerone calls her). The plan was to go to dinner, drink some wine and go to a local dance club called "Hurricane Bay" (not necessarily in that order).
Nani, Witha, and I hit Rubio's and indulge in a salad. I know...exciting, but I wasn't going to blow my recent 15 pound loss on food that was going to make me gain it back. Also, being on the Atkins diet for over a month will make you think twice about your food choices, and it isn't just for the weight gain reason. Look up "Carb Dumping". You tell me, would you indulge right before you go to a club? I didn't think so.
Nani, Witha, and I hit Rubio's and indulge in a salad. I know...exciting, but I wasn't going to blow my recent 15 pound loss on food that was going to make me gain it back. Also, being on the Atkins diet for over a month will make you think twice about your food choices, and it isn't just for the weight gain reason. Look up "Carb Dumping". You tell me, would you indulge right before you go to a club? I didn't think so.
It didn't take as long to wolf down a salad as I thought it would, so we head over to "Total Wine" and grab a few bottles for later consumption. If you aren't a wine person and have never tried Muscato D'Asti, you must. It's a sweet (dessert) wine that will make you wonder what your hang up was about wine in the first place. Oh...and each of us gets carded. Do you have any idea how happy that made me?
We head back to Witha's house, drop off the bottles of wine (there were only 2...don't panic), where we find her oldest son playing video games. I call him Spence...and he's an absolutely wonderful and handsome boy who has brains to boot (and please don't take that as creepy...I say that in a motherly way, of course). Forget the baseball bat, Witha. You're going to need a shotgun.
LOL...well, I did catch him off guard. He's even cuter when he smiles.Finally...the clock hits 7:30pm and time to hit "da club".
I haven't been to a club since my early 20's. Yes, I used to be on the dance floor with the rest of them, but ladies, you'll understand the next thing I'm about to say. Once you have children, it seems like all the coordination you had prior to having them seems to leave your body the moment you give birth. I never broke bones prior to children. After I had Triscuit, I broke two. I wasn't about to risk breaking a third by trying to dance. Besides, it's more fun to "people watch". I know things have changed, but I'm still thinking "Great. This is going to be your typical club. Skinny, YOUNG, beautiful girls flaunting their curves (or lack thereof, depending on the affordability of breast enhancement. Oh...sorry. Was that mean? I have yet to see a size 0-4 girl with God given endowment...seriously. I know...Meow), with big, buff, tan men pulling out all the stops to impress said girls. This should be fun." I walk in and see this (not this particular girl, but you know the type):
I haven't been to a club since my early 20's. Yes, I used to be on the dance floor with the rest of them, but ladies, you'll understand the next thing I'm about to say. Once you have children, it seems like all the coordination you had prior to having them seems to leave your body the moment you give birth. I never broke bones prior to children. After I had Triscuit, I broke two. I wasn't about to risk breaking a third by trying to dance. Besides, it's more fun to "people watch". I know things have changed, but I'm still thinking "Great. This is going to be your typical club. Skinny, YOUNG, beautiful girls flaunting their curves (or lack thereof, depending on the affordability of breast enhancement. Oh...sorry. Was that mean? I have yet to see a size 0-4 girl with God given endowment...seriously. I know...Meow), with big, buff, tan men pulling out all the stops to impress said girls. This should be fun." I walk in and see this (not this particular girl, but you know the type):
Peachy. But then, I look elsewhere...and what do I see? Holy crap! WOW!
It's not just the size differences that amazes me...it's the AGE differences, too. From young college attending girls, to middle aged moms (like me), to GRANDMA'S out there shakin' their groovy behinds. It was actually quite refreshing! There was one lady there that we dubbed "Heidi". Imagine THIS, only her hair was real, she wasn't wearing a plastic dress and she was about 45 years old.
When it came to the men that were there, it was pretty typical. Although, there were a few in there that looked like this:
Eww. When you see guys like this, their ego's usually enter a room before they do.
I'm thinking, "OK...this is your last night in a while to have a little R-N-R. Loosen up and have FUN, dang it!" The pretty, young waitress (in a child's dress), comes up to take our drink order. Because I'm driving, I order water. I took a picture to prove it:
No, they don't put lemon wedges in Vodka.
I start snapping photos of the Sister (on the left) and Witha (right).
As I'm snapping away, Witha says, "OK...YOUR TURN." Crap. I HATE having my picture taken...but, since I vowed to "loosen up and have fun", I hand her the camera.
Here's evidence that, yes...I DO know how to have fun.
Me on the left, the Sister on the right:
I was told to "pose". This is the best I could do.
And yes, just to show I'm a good sport, I'll post a silly one, too. I think we can blame our parents for the "crazy" gene. And Dad? I'm mainly talking to you, since the Sister is sporting a classic "Dad" look. As for MY look, I would have to say that's all Mom's fault.
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