On to Toblerone and his "growing up". With this kid, "growing up" won't stop for him until he can touch the clouds. I feel for him, poor little-big guy. All I can say is I'm glad God has given him a gentle giant type of personality. He'll need it throughout school. That cherub face will also help him be less intimidating!
I've taken similar pictures comparing his hands and feet to MY hands and feet. Again, remember, he's not yet four years old (not until June 21st).
Toblerone's hand on top of mine....love his chunky little hands!
Toblerone's foot next to mine (and the dog's toy happens to show up...niiice)...
Now, on to Toblerone's face. Take one:
Oh for the love of all that holy...LOOK AT MOMMY and DON'T CLOSE YOUR EYES!!!
Toblerone's face - take two:
That's better...but now he has that "How YOU doin'" look on his face. I guess it's better than the "special" snapshots I'm used to taking. ONE of these days, he'll learn how to pose.
As with Triscuit, Toblerone is also growing up in more ways than just physical. He, too, has reached a "phase"...and it's not a good one.
For you parents out there that have older children, think back (however far back that may be). Remember the temper tantrums, the whining and crying, and the assertive phase? Yes...that's what I'm dealing with. Here's the big "BUT" you all are waiting for. BUT, I can GUARANTEE that your almost four year old wasn't 75 pounds and four feet tall. Ever tried to wrestle a child that size? Yeah...it isn't easy. I'm not a small woman, either. I'm average weight for a woman that stands at 5'9. You would think it would be easy. Think again. The kid has the strength of Hercules! He was helping Weenie move boxes outside for God's sake!
Yes, I'm going to touch on another sensitive subject that I'm sure will make you guys say, "WHY did you post this on your blog?". The answer to that, my friends, is called "life". We all MUST get over the embarrassment of parts. You parents with BOYS will understand exactly what I'm talking about.
NAKEDNESS AND BOOOOOBS
Whenever I say, "OK boys...time for a shower!", the FIRST person standing stark naked is Toblerone. The kid has NO modesty whatsoever. I swear, he rips off his clothes in the blink of an eye. I'm actually thinking about calling him "Flash Gordon" (pun intended). If I could get Triscuit to move that fast, we wouldn't have so many screaming matches!
Mum: "Boys...time for a shower."
Triscuit: "But MOOOOM! We just TOOK a shower."
Mum: "Move, son! I'm not going to argue with you."
As Triscuit tries to plead his case, giving the pros and cons of taking a shower, Toblerone is buck naked, shaking his booty at Triscuit.
Toblerone: "I'm going to get into the shower FIRTHT! *sticks his tongue out*
Triscuit: "MOOOOM! He stuck his tongue out at me!!! Spank him!"
Mum: *sigh*..."Triscuit, just take your clothes off and get into the shower."
Meanwhile, Toblerone is now upstairs and OUTSIDE in all his naked glory. Look at the pictures above...see how white he is? Yeah...I think the neighbors thought a second sun magically appeared.
Mum: "TOBLERONE! Get BACK inside NOW!"
Toblerone: *Turns around and shakes his booty...at ME*
Mum: "Ohhhh....I can't believe you just did that. That is SO rude, Toblerone!"
Toblerone: *Runs around on the patio, mustering every bit of ornery he has in him...LAUGHING*
Mum: "You WILL get a spanking if you do not come see me right NOW."
Reluctantly, he comes over to me (covering his naked little behind thinking "there is NO way Mommy can spank me with my hands there"). I FINALLY get them into the shower after 10 minutes of this.
It usually takes me about 5 minutes to fully scrub and clean him (and no, I didn't use the scrubby on his sensitive part). While he exits, Triscuit enters. As I'm reiterating instructions to Triscuit on how to wash properly (see previous post if you're wondering what I'm talking about), Toblerone's naked and WET butt is upstairs...and this time he's chasing the dog. *sigh*
Mum: "Toblerone...PLEASE come here. I need to dry you off."
He actually LISTENS this time and comes to see me. Next thing I know, this expression crosses his face:
He stares at my chest (I'm wearing a sports bra), then stares at his.
Toblerone: "What are thothe?"
Mum: "They're boobs, honey. Only girls have them (I decided to go ahead and point that out before he had a chance to ask)."
Toblerone: "Why do you have booooobth?"
Mum: "Because....um....."
Crap. How am I going to explain this to him...on HIS level?
Mum: "Because girls have different parts than boys. That's what makes girls different from boys."
Toblerone: "What are dey for?"
Really? Did he just ask me that?
Mum: "To feed babies. That's what Mommy's do when they have kids."
Toblerone: "Do dey eat dem?"
Mum: "No. Mommy's make milk when they have babies."
Toblerone: "Can I make milk?"
Mum: "No...only girls can."
Toblerone: "When will I get booooobth?"
Mum: "Are you a girl?"
Toblerone: *laughing* "Mooom! No, I'm not a giwl."
Mum: "What makes you a boy?"
That question popped out of my mouth before I even thought about it. NEVER....EVER do that.
Toblerone: "I don't have booooobth."
Thaaat's right, kid. Keep thinking that way...at least until your father gets home.
Toblerone: "Do you have milk?"
I am SO done with this conversation.
Mum: "Here's your crayons and coloring book. Why don't you color for a while?"
Thankfully, he stops with the questions...at least until the NEXT time he takes a shower.
Life is never dull in this house. If you ever catch me saying "I'm bored", your response should be "count your blessings".
No comments:
Post a Comment