Triscuits hand on top of mine
Triscuits foot next to mine (I know...my feet need some TLC)
Here's the kicker. His face is changing. I look at him and can no longer see any "baby" in him (I know he looks tired...Toblerone has a habit of waking up before the butt crack of dawn. Since he doesn't want to be alone when he gets into everything, he goes and wakes up Triscuit. This has been happening for over 3 weeks now).
I WAS going to take a picture of his shoulders, but I don't think that pictures would do his shoulders justice. Let's just say his shirts (size 10) no longer fit him correctly.
Not only is he growing up physically...be he's growing up in other areas, too. His attitude is changing (and for the most part, not in a GOOD way). He's asserting himself more...which is making him more argumentative. Granted, after a week of being in time out and getting soap for back talking, he's straightening up a bit, but still has his "jerky" moments. And before you yell at me, I DO realize that this is a phase. Unfortunately, he won't be growing out of this phase until he has children of his own. I love him to death and wouldn't trade these moments for the world, but my patience is running thin. There IS some funny in all of this (I'm having to look deeper these days for the funny, but it's still there). We (Weenie and I) have been dealing with this for quite a while with him. I swear, if this kid ever goes out for the debate team, he'll be at the top of the team!
What I'm about to divulge he will more than likely kill me for when he's older, but until then, let's laugh about it.
HYGIENE
Mum: "Triscuit...time for a shower."
Triscuit: "But MOOOM! I took a shower two days ago. I don't need one again...I don't stink!"
Mum: "Have you smelled yourself lately?"
Triscuit: "MOOOM!"
Mum: "NOW, son!"
As Triscuit is showering, Weenie walks down the stairs, wrinkles his nose and says, "It smells like wet boy down here (and if you haven't smelled wet boy, imagine the smell of a wet dog. It's one in the same)." So, I asked Weenie to "please instruct Triscuit how to wash properly". I know some of you are wondering why I didn't instruct him. Well, since I lack certain plumbing, I have NO clue how to instruct him on how to wash "it". I tried to show him once, but after the lesson Weenie gave, apparently, I showed him incorrectly.
I hear Weenie instructing him on how to wash his hair, his pits, his behind, arms, legs, and feet (yes, I instructed Triscuit on these parts, too...but apparently Weenie wanted to give a refresher). Then I hear him instructing him on how to wash "it". Soon, Weenie appears next to me letting me know what happened (this may get embarrassing for some of you not used to talking about parts...but it's a fact of life people....seriously).
Weenie: "While instructing Triscuit, I realized his trepidation on wanting to wash it."
Mum: "Why? I showed him how."
Weenie: *gives me this flabbergasted look* "Ummm, honey? He was using a SCRUBBY to wash it. Do you have any idea how extremely sensitive it is???"
Mum: "I don't have one of "those" honey, I wouldn't know."
Weenie: "Well, do YOU scrub your lady parts with a scrubby?!?!?!"
Mum: *Facepalm* "No, I don't."
Yes. Call me naive, blond and stupid...I don't care. I deserve it after that. What possessed me to show him that way??? If I can't do that, then GUYS sure can't! What was I thinking???
Mum: "Well, you instructed him otherwise, right?"
Weenie: "Yes. I told him to put soap on his hand and make SURE every crevice is washed."
Mum: "How did it go?"
Weenie: "Let's just say, I don't think he'll have a problem washing it anymore."
Lordy. I am SO not ready for THAT phase. I can guarantee you RIGHT NOW when "that" issue arises, I will NOT be the one addressing it.
1 comment:
Can I just say, try being a single mom and having boys. LOL Me showing him how to pee was hard enough!!!! I totally feel your pain!
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