Santa's Not REAL???

Each parent/set of parents are different when it comes to Santa Claus. Some parental units don't want their kids to believe in Santa...because it takes away from the true meaning of Christmas...Jesus' birth. Some parental units allow the belief in Santa as well as teaching that Jesus is the real reason for Christmas.

This issue was a small source of contention between Weenie and I when Triscuit was smaller. Weenie didn't want Triscuit to focus on Santa...he wanted Triscuit to understand WHY we celebrate Christmas, and Santa wasn't it. But, because I wasn't allowed to believe in Santa Claus when I was little, I felt I missed out on all the fun. When I was smaller, I remember laying awake on Christmas Eve listening to every noise...just HOPING to hear a sleigh bell or a "thump" on the roof. I even remember looking out my window up towards the sky to see if I could catch Santa's sleigh flying over the house. I wanted SO badly to prove my parents wrong! As I grew older, I understood why my parents did what they did. I understood the point. But, when I finally became a mom, I realized that I had a VERY valid point, too. Your children get just ONE shot at childhood. Santa represents love, goodwill, giving and teaches youngsters to be on their best behavior! Santa is a part of growing up. So, let your kids be kids and have fun! With a little explaining and persuading, Weenie caved in. We started the Santa ritual when Triscuit was about 3 and oh, how we had fun with it! This past year had to have been the best one. Weenie had gone out and bought a bunch of Transformers action figures. He got them out of the package and set them up on the living room floor, as if they were having a battle. It was GREAT! Triscuit came down all wide eyed and excited! Just as I had hoped, he had lied awake for a while on Christmas Eve...listening for noises and questioning how Santa was going to get into the house, since we didn't have a fireplace.

Unfortunately, as with every child, they grow up (and too quickly). Weenie has been wanting to tell Triscuit for the past few months about Santa's mortality. Because I'm the typical mother, I wanted just ONE more year. To tell a child that Santa isn't real is forcing us mom's to come face to face with the realization that our children are growing up. I kept putting Weenie off, telling him, "Let me think about the best way to tell him", just hoping Weenie would get the fact I didn't want to let Santa go. Well, our niece B-Boo accidentally let the cat out of the bag.

While the kids were out back playing last evening, the conversation turned to Santa. B-Boo told Triscuit that Santa was a myth. And, as you can probably guess, Triscuit was rather upset. He came in from outside and said,

Triscuit - *Tears in his eyes* "Mooom! B-Boo said Santa was a myth!"

Mum - "Uhhh...Weenie?!?! You need to have a talk with Triscuit."

Weenie - "About what?"

Mum - "Santa."

Weenie gets this rather pleased look on his face, grabs Triscuit and takes him outside to talk to him. Apparently things went better than I had hoped. Weenie comes in from outside LAUGHING.

Mum - "Did everything go OK? Why are you laughing?"

Weenie - "Oh yeah. He understood. You want to know what his main concern was?"

Mum - "What?"

Weenie - "While explaining to him that you and I are really Santa, he said, 'Then, can YOU guys get me the toys I want?'"

I think Triscuit was ready to let Santa go (even if Mommy wasn't)....just as long as he still gets the loot. TYPICAL KID!

Hey...at least I still have Toblerone. I just need to make sure Triscuit gets caught up in the fun of playing Santa. This year, I'll be taking Triscuit out Christmas shopping...just the two of us. I'll let him pick out the toys for Toblerone, let HIM set up the toys in the living room, stuff the stockings and write the note from "Santa". Hopefully, Triscuit won't be naughty and tell Toblerone too early. I think letting Triscuit do this for his little brother will help ensure he does the same for HIS kids when he grows up.

My Butt'th Bwoken!

Some of my readers know that I'm still struggling with Toblerone to potty train. I have tried many things and am starting to think that maybe he just isn't ready yet...OR he's just too busy to take the time to try. Nevertheless, I keep trying. After all, he's 3 feet 9 1/2 inches tall now, 60lbs and we can't find diapers in his size...what choice do I have???? At this point, I have 3 choices:

A) Use "Goodnights" as pull-ups.
B) Use underwear and cloth diapers
C) Let him run around naked

I've tried option A and can't afford to buy those suckers every week. We're currently doing option B and I've tried option C a few times. But there's a problem with option C. It's messy and Toblerone HATES to be naked. The first time I tried him all-natural, he cried for 5 minutes and kept following me around with a Goodnight pull-up BEGGING me to help him put it on. The second time I refused to put clothes on him....THIS happened:

Toblerone: *Feeling vulnerable, he runs and grabs a pull-up* "Mama...help! Don't like being naked."

Mum: "Sorry Toblerone, but you need to go in the big boy potty."

Toblerone: "No. Don't like it."

Mum: "Well, you need to learn, honey. You're a big boy now. Big boys go in the potty."

Toblerone gets a thoughtful look on his face. Here, I'm thinking he's actually pondering what I'm saying. Nope....next thing I know, there's a puddle of pee on the floor. At least I know what his "pee face" looks like now.

Mum: "Toblerone....you NEED to use the potty!!!"

Toblerone says he's sorry then holds the pull up to me. Again, I refuse. He trots off to go play. Not even one minute later, he comes back holding his butt.

Toblerone: "Mama...I got hole."

Mum: *trying to keep it together* "Yes honey. We ALL have holes."

Toblerone then discovers his butt HAS A CRACK. He get's this really worried look on his face and says:

Toblerone: "My butt'th BWOKEN!"

OK...I couldn't keep it together anymore. I LOST it! I was laughing SOOO hard! Toblerone didn't think it was funny....

Toblerone: "Mama!!! My butt....it'th BWOKEN!!! NO LAUGH!"

I compose myself and try and explain to him that EVERYONE has a crack. God gave us ALL cracks...if we didn't have a crack in our butt, we would have one BIG butt cheek and that would look silly (I tried to keep the explanation on HIS level). Then, he started going through EVERYONE we know...

Toblerone: "Witha (Melissa) hath crack? Bewa (Bella)? Hayden? Daddy? Triscuit? Fenther (Spencer)?"

Mum: "Yes, Toblerone...EVERYONE has a crack."

This seemed to calm him down and believe it or not, we have a successful potty training afternoon (yay). Then DADDY comes home.

Weenie walks through the door. I ask Toblerone to tell Weenie what's wrong with his butt.

Toblerone: *walks up to Weenie, turns around and pats his butt* "Daddy...my butt bwoken. Mama tell me Witha, Bewa and Triscuit'th butt bwoken, too!"

Forget trying to keep my laugh lines and crows feet at bay. It's not possible with what my children come up with. The innocence of Toblerone's wonderment is just fantastic! For these moments, I'm willing to live with my laugh lines!

Sarcasm Runs in the Family. Imagine That.

Triscuit has come out with some good ones lately. You already know about the first few days of school and how he ever-so-knowingly shoved in my face that "He KNEW how to do it (math)". Well, it only gets better.

We have the "School Triscuit"....one who has matured greatly this summer. Yes, he's doing fantastic (Thank you God), but one thing I wasn't expecting with that maturity was him coming into his new found personality....Sir Sarcasm. Imagine I'm teaching Triscuit something in Language Arts (otherwise known as "English").

Mum: (Reading a passage from a book called "Clara and the Bookwagon". Mind you, Triscuit has already read the book silently) "What was the main character's name?"

Triscuit: "Seriously?"

Mum: "Yes, Triscuit. These are the questions...just answer it, please."

Triscuit: "Clara"

Mum: "Thank you. Next question...Where did the story take place?"

Triscuit: *rolls eyes*..."On a farm in Maine"

Mum: "Triscuit...mind your attitude please."

Triscuit: "Sorry Mama, but these questions are easy."

Mum: "Good...that just means you understood what you read. Next question. What did Clara want to do?"

Triscuit: "Read"

Mum: "What was her father's attitude towards her wanting to read?"

Triscuit: "He didn't want her to...which is MEAN."

Mum: (Trying to keep a straight face). "Why do you think he was mean?"

Triscuit: "Just because HE couldn't read doesn't mean SHE can't learn!"

Mum: "I know...but that's how things were back then. Work was more important than education."

Triscuit: "Whatever."

I know you all are probably laughing right now, but keeping the Mommy and Teacher separate is REALLY hard. I wanted to laugh too, but I couldn't. WAIT...it gets better. I was teaching History today (the lesson was an introduction to Julius Caesar). Of course, after every lesson there are assessment questions (little quizzes...just to make sure he understood the lesson).

Mum: "Who did we learn about today?"

Triscuit: "Julius Caesar."

Mum: "What kind of person was Julius Caesar?"

Triscuit: "Ummm...nice? *Mumbles* "I don't know...I didn't know him."

OK...At this point I wanted to laugh. But of course, I couldn't.

Mum: "Triscuit. Answer the question with a SERIOUS answer...."

Triscuit: *shoots me an unknowing glance*..."Nice? Hero? Smart? Knew how to fight?"

Mum: "See? That wasn't so hard. Just answer it and move on."

These little things are happening all the time. He thinks it's funny and knows how to carry it off without being too obvious that he KNOWS what he's doing.

Now...on to "Brother Triscuit". I know that sibling rivalry is normal. I also know that because there is a 5 year difference between the two, things can get a little hairy. I half expect Triscuit to understand that Toblerone is only 3. But, he doesn't. He's getting to the point where he "gets it", but he's not quite there. Understand that things are waaaay different with Triscuit now. His room is off limits to his brother and often keeps the door locked (we encourage this...Toblerone has been known to completely destroy Triscuits room within minutes). While playing the other day, Toblerone (who also has become ornery) decides he's going to snatch a toy from Triscuits room and run (Triscuit forgot to lock his door). Toberlone BOLTS upstairs...obviously knowing what he was going for, snatches a Bionicle and RUNS for his life!

Triscuit: "TOBLERONE!!! THAT'S MY BIOLICLE!!! GIVE IT BACK!"

Toblerone: *Squealing with laughter and pure orneriness* ..."HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

Triscuit: *Goes to smack his brother*

Mum: "TRISCUIT! Don't even THINK about it!"

Triscuit: "But MOOOOM! He went to my room and TOOK my Bionicle! He won't give it BACK!"

Mum: "Did you lock your door?"

Triscuit: "No...I forgot...BUT...!"

Mum: "Toberlone...give it to Mama."

Toblerone: *Reluctantly gives it over*

Mum: "Toblerone...go say you're sorry to Triscuit."

Toblerone does as he's told, sits in time out for 3 minutes, and runs off to create more havoc somewhere else.

Mum: *Handing the Bionicle over to Triscuit* "Triscuit...remember, Toblerone is only 3."

Triscuit: "That's no excuse."

Mum: "What?"

Triscuit: "He knew what he was doing...why didn't you spank him? Why didn't you ground him?"

Mum: "He's not old enough to understand "grounding" and his actions don't require a spanking. (my kids only get spanked when it's a SERIOUS offense). A time out and an apology worked just fine, Triscuit."

Triscuit: "It's not FAIR! It's SOOOOO not fair!"

Mum: "Let Daddy and I decide what's fair and what's not. OK?"

Triscuit: "If he was MY kid, he'd be in BIG trouble."

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I wanted SO badly to say, "Come talk to me about that in about 20 years", but I didn't.

Then, there's the "Son Triscuit". Ooooh....THIS facade of Triscuit is getting REALLY mouthy. About a week ago, he almost lost his privileged to speak. Triscuit was brushing his teeth (and him being a typical boy, does a half-cocked job). The dentist asked me to go over his teeth after he's done brushing until he can understand how IMPORTANT it is to keep them clean (again, this is part of the ADHD thing). Here's the conversation.

Mum: "Triscuit...where did you put your toothbrush?"

Triscuit: *Glances in the direction of his toothbrush*

Mum: "Triscuit...answer me. Where is your toothbrush?"

Triscuit: *gives me a LOOK*

Mum: *I give him a LOOK back*

Triscuit: "It's right there. What? Did you think it was invisible?"

Oh no he didn't! My mouth dropped. LUCKILY, Weenie was there to hear it, too! We both just looked at each other...we were DUMBFOUNDED!

Weenie: "Where do you get off talking to your Mother like that????"

At this point, Triscuit knew he went from being funny to crossing the line.

Triscuit: "But Daddy...!"

Weenie: "That was RUDE and DISRESPECTFUL! Do you want soap now or later? Tell Mama you're sorry.....NOW."

Triscuit comes over and hugs me, says he's sorry and that he didn't mean to be rude. I KNOW this is going to happen again. After all...he IS my son and he comes by his sarcasm honestly. I just didn't expect it to be this early in life!

I'm BAAAAAACK!

I guess I should have warned all of you that I was going to take the summer off. If was an impromptu decision. Basically, I needed to brain fart for a while (plus, it doesn't help that I'm addicted to Farmtown on Facebook). After last school year, the summer was a welcomed break. Fighting with Triscuit over school everyday was really wearing me out. Plus, having to keep Toblerone busy all the time during Triscuits schooling was also pretty tiring. The older Toblerone gets, the faster he gets bored. I was having to come up with new strategies everyday to keep him quiet and busy! But alas...I'm back...and we're back to school. *sigh*.

Triscuit began school again on August 3rd. If I remember correctly, I did inform you all that Triscuit was going to repeat 2nd grade. We have begun this process...and it's turning out to be excellent! The first day back is usually the hardest. Getting back into the routine can be rough...getting up, getting breakfast, taking his medication, having a bit of playtime (also allowing time for the medication to take effect) THEN buckling down. It was a little difficult, but not TOO bad. Then, the "blow away" began. The second day he started off with, "Mom, I want to start school". When he said that, I about fell over! So, instead of letting him have playtime, I got his math book out. He sat down, took his pencil out and looked at his lesson. I began to reteach the lesson (basic addition). He gives me this look:


and says:

Triscuit: "Mom...I KNOW how to do this."

Well...EXCUSE me! Usually, I would be upset with him taking this attitude with me...but I'll let this one slide. Triscuit finished 4 lessons in an hour! Then, we went on to Language arts. Mind you, THIS subject is NOT a repeat. Because he was always a year behind in Phonics and Language arts, we are now doing all work at grade level. He BLEW through an Aesop fable...he read it SILENTLY (which is a HUGE thing for him), answered ALL the questions correctly AND told me the moral of the story (without any help). He went on to read on his own, then practiced his handwriting for 30 minutes. Science was next. He was able to name all the scientific tools I showed him...again, with no help. I swear...it's like teaching a totally different child! It's AWESOME! If you think this happened just once, you're mistaken. This has happened EVERYDAY since. We are now on our 8th day of school...and it's the same. He would rather get school done and over with. He sits down, blows through his math in NO time flat...blows through his Language Arts with almost no problems (yesterday, he had a slight meltdown...but that was only because after he read a story, they asked some "critical thinking" questions...something he isn't used to), then blows through History and Science. He is really amazing me!!!! The whole purpose of him repeating his 2nd grade year was because, honestly, I didn't think he retained that much last year and he didn't complete all required lessons to continue on to 3rd grade. With all the problems he had sitting still, focusing, listening, reading...ANYTHING that required concentration, it just didn't seem he learned much. BOY...was I WRONG! YES...I said it...and I will say it again...I WAS WRONG (mark that on your calendar...because I won't admit it again for a while)!!!

So, that's what life is like right now. Back to the school grindstone....all I have to do is figure out what to do with Toblerone. HE'S a whole other post I will try and get to later today!

Thank you to those who were kind enough to ask "Where the heck I went". I appreciate the fact you guys care! Oh...and I promise the next post will be WAAAY funnier!

*Sigh*....Not Even Three and The Questions Start...

Before I get to my Imperial Beach post (yes, I know I'm late, but we had a family emergency that came up), I HAVE to put this little gem up first.

I'm finding it increasingly difficult to do your everyday tasks without being interrupted by a certain Toblerone. Whether it be the daily constitutional, the hourly trip to the bathroom for tinkle time, or taking a shower....he's ALWAYS there....lurking. It doesn't matter if I lock the door or not, he will sit outside the bathroom and either pound on the door because he wants to flush the toilet for you, OR he will lay on the floor looking under the crack of the door. THOSE conversations are always interesting....

Toblerone: "Mama? What doin'?"

Mum: "I'm going potty honey. Go upstairs."

Toblerone: "Mama...Toblerone fwush toiwet."

It never fails...the SAME conversation.

When I take showers while Weenie isn't home, (I try and do showers while he's here) I have to keep the door open and conversation engaged with Toblerone, otherwise, the little tornado destroys everything that isn't kept above reach. Because I'm a modest person, I try to grab the towel before I get out of the shower so he doesn't see any girly parts.

While taking a shower a few days ago, I did the usual....engaged Toblerone in conversation (usually answering questions about what I'm doing in there). BUT....I made a HUGE mistake. I didn't tie the towel tight enough around me when I got out...and WHOOPS! Down it falls. Thinking to myself, "He's not even 3 yet, he won't notice anything different." Ohhh....how wrong I was. Obviously, I didn't pull the towel up fast enough, because THIS look crossed his face....

And out of his little mouth, pops this question.....

Toblerone: "Mama? Where'd Mama's Pee Pee go?"

Thinking to myself..."Surely, he's talking about me going to the bathroom..."

Mum: "Mommy doesn't have to go potty right now, honey."

Toblerone: (pointing with his little chubby finger).."No...Mama's pee pee...Bwoken?"

Oh my....he WAS talking about that. The look on my face must of been priceless. I imagine something along this line....

I HAVE to think of something better than tying a towel around me, because I CERTAINLY can't start locking the bathroom door when Weenie isn't home.

Maybe for Mother's Day, I should request a terry cloth robe (oh, how sexy).

Happy (Belated) Easter!

I FINALLY figured out the video option on my new camera I got for Christmas....JUST in time for Easter! WOOT!

The first video is of Triscuit and Toblerone after their Easter Egg hunt. Since it was my first attempt at video-ing, it's a little off center.

The second video is Triscuit giving a short (yet sweet) reason for Easter. His FIRST answer (in the car on the way up north to my parents house) was "to find eggs". We had to remind him of the REAL reason. Then, he says hello to his 2 Great Grandma's in Nebraska. He didn't realize he was being videoed until I told him. Check out the face after I tell him. LOL!!!

The third video is of Toblerone. I tried to get him to talk during this one, but he was really only interesting in stuffing his face (I shouldn't have let him eat that much candy...you'll read why in a minute).

As SOON as I shut the camera off, he decided to talk more. I quickly turned it back on and caught a few snippets of him talking about what he had and where we were.

About 2 hours after the snarfing video was taken, he woke up rather abruptly from his nap (he fell asleep on ME) CRYING, then "FREW UP" all over. Guess where it ended up? Yup...all over me. I was SOAKED with puke! My shirt was soaked, my pants were soaked, it went down my bra and in my hair! Thank God my Mom had kept some of my grandmother's clothes after she passed away last year. Minus a 9 inch height difference, we wore the same size. I ended up having to take a shower at my parents house. After that whole fiasco, I was done and ready to go home. After these past few weeks, I could go the rest of my life without seeing throw up. The Sister's birthday is this week and she wants to go back to Imperial Beach for her birthday. We will be leaving early Friday morning and returning on Sunday night. I'm ready for a break!

It was a REALLY good Easter. The kids had fun and we had a nice, relaxing day (up to the puke fest).

I hope you all had a wonderful Easter weekend!

Ith Thuck

We are still working on potty training Toblerone. Because he's such a huge child, the potty chair quickly became too small to accommodate his rather large behind. The regular toilet frightens him, so we are stuck right now. Ren Ren found this on the Internet....I'm thinking seriously of talking to Weenie about it. It will save the questioning of the "fur" later in his little life....

What brought me to this subject (yet again)? Well, last night, while changing Toblerone's diaper, he looked at me and said:

Toblerone: "Mama...ith thuck"

Mum: "What's stuck?"

Toblerone: "Mama...Toblerone's pee pee thuck."

Mum: "No...your pee pee is supposed to be there. It doesn't come off, Luv."

Toblerone: "No...pee pee thuck. Pee pee off."

Mum: *laughing*.."Your pee pee doesn't come off, Toblerone."

Toblerone: *trying to pull his pee pee off*

Mum: "Toblerone! Leave it alone! You're going to hurt yourself!"

Toblerone: "Mama. Toblerone pee pee thuck...Daddy fithit (fix it)."

Whenever something gets broken or needs to be put together, Weenie is the handy man and hero to all that is needing help...plastic and flesh alike.

During this conversation between Toblerone and I, Weenie was putting together yet another Lego Star Wars ship at the dining room table. He looked up from his instruction manual with this look on his face.




Mum: "Yeah Daddy...Toblerone's pee pee "ith thuck". Daddy needs to "fithit".

Again, Weenie gives me this look.

Mum: "Little does he know that this is a valuable appendage."

He smiles, shakes his head and resumes Lego-ing. He's a man of little words...especially when he's fulfilling his Lego addiction.

Meanwhile, I put a new diaper on Toblerone and fully expect him to get up and run off. He just laid there....looking at me as if to say, "Well???"

Mum: "Toblerone....go play."

Toblerone: "Pee pee thuck."

OK....how many times do you have to say, "IT DOESN'T COME OFF!"

Mum: *Deciding to talk on HIS level* "Toblerone. Pee pee no off. Pee pee stay on."

Toblerone seemed to except my attempt at toddler speak and ran off.

The next thing I knew, he climbed up on the chair in the living room, then up on the arm of the chair, flapping his arms like a bird and saying:

Toblerone: "Toblerone fly! Toblerone AMATHING (amazing)!"

What do the two have in common? I have no clue, but one occured right after the other. What was going throught his mind? I don't know, but it was funny!