And We FINALLY Have Answers!!!

The waiting, the anxiety, the dreading of the appointment today....ALL OVER! And we have ANSWERS! I'm so happy right now, I could kiss a monkey (I know...completely random).

Most of you know I was really worried and apprehensive about the testing. I didn't know what to expect. I was told "Neurological testing". They didn't tell me what kind. If any of you have ever googled a random subject, it seems the information that pops up is the type of information that would scare the crap out of you. I read everything from PET scans to probes and wires. That was SOOO not the case! The testing was considered "Neuro Behavioral" testing. Small, random (sometimes a little weird) and simple tests. There were three phases to the testing: Motor skills, written testing and communicative testing. I will try and break it down the best I can.

Phase one. Motor skills.

Triscuit was asked to touch his fingers together in the same order SHE did (without looking at his fingers). Thumb and index finger, then thumb and pinkie...so on. On the RIGHT side, Triscuit did PERFECTLY...but on the left side? No so well. He got the pinkie and index right, but the other two? Completely opposite. She had him pretend to throw a ball, pretend to brush his teeth, then had him look up at the corner of the room through a tube. He switched the tube from eye to eye, so he passed (I know...I still don't understand that one). She had him touch his nose, show her the difference between left and right...things of that nature.

Phase two: Written testing.

He was instructed to look at detail. Most of it was recognizing shapes. It would go from simple to complex (complexity being shapes in shapes and the key was to recognize the exact position of the shape. In other words, it couldn't be just a rectangle. It had the be the rectangle slanted to the left)...things of that nature. When it came to THOSE types of tests, he did REALLY well. Then, he went to letters. She wanted him to write his alphabet in LOWER case as quick as he could. He knows his alphabet...but writing is not his forte. He likes to mix up his lower and upper case...something I thought was normal. I guess, that's NOT normal...especially for his age. He understood when he made a mistake, but got really frustrated AT the mistake. He got to "g", when she decided to stop the test. She also observed his behavior when he was writing. Most of us understand that when you are testing, you need to sit still and you need to be quiet. He couldn't do either. He was fidgety, distracted and the poor kid just doesn't know how to work QUIETLY. The other thing that was worrisome, was he kept asking, "Is this right? Is this right?" He has NO confidence. The last part was numbers. He had to recognize the sequence of numbers then find that same sequence through 10 lines of numbers that were in SIMILAR order.

Phase three: Communicative testing.

THIS part of the testing was the most difficult for him. The first thing she did was read him a story. Then, she asked him what the basics of the story was. He had no problems telling her that. But when she began asking him the details of the story (like "How was the weather in the story?" Or, "What emotion was the character showing?"), he would often answer it with a questioning tone (and no, he didn't get it right). The next thing was giving him verbal instructions. She could only say them once, so he had to really pay attention. I forgot exactly what she asked him to do, but all I know was he just looked at her...confused beyond confused. He would make a frustrated growl and say, "I don't know what you mean". She repeated this three times (different questions every time) and he couldn't do ONE of them. The last thing was asking him to do was repeat back a sequence of numbers in the same order she spoke them. He did great when it was only 4 numbers long...but when it came to 5 or more, he didn't get one of them correct. It was too complicated.

She stepped out of the room for about 10 minutes to score his testing. During this time, I tried to keep Triscuit out of the bio hazard trash can. He wanted to know why he couldn't touch it. He wanted to know what bio hazard meant and why he couldn't just throw something away in ONE trash can. That was fun. He had to wash his hands twice because he just HAD to mess with it! GROSS!!!!

Anyway, she came back with a LOAD of paperwork along with his scores. Here's how it played out.
Motor Skills - She didn't tell me EVERYTHING she saw, but she did tell me a few things. He's a little behind on his motor skills. Something she fully expected. To be honest, I did too...but she didn't tell me what the cause could have been (as I've mentioned before, the concern was the nature surrounding his birth). She wasn't too concerned, stating that he will catch up...it was just going to take a little longer than normal. I have still to pose some questions about that.

Written Skills - He is behind...no doubt about it. Again, something I wasn't too shocked by. She noticed that, of course, he couldn't sit still. He had to move at all times. He couldn't be quiet and do his work, he had to talk it out. When he made a mistake, he got VERY frustrated and anxious. Performance anxiety...big time. He tried to make a joke out of it...and often did nervous laughter. This concerned her....BIG TIME. She said that when he makes a mistake, he gets ANGRY at himself. He is looking to us adults for verification BEFORE he makes the mistake (hence asking, "Is this right?"). She told me that she would LIKE for him to see a counselor...just to make sure he doesn't have an anxiety disorder. I told her I was wondering if MY frustration rubbed off on him causing him to be anxious. She said I had a good point. She talked to me a little about it and told me that no matter HOW good my intentions are, we are all human and we ALL get frustrated. She said she could only imagine what I go through on a daily basis being both mom AND teacher. She gave me some pointers on how to deal with both of our issues...so I have yet to test those out next week.

Communicative testing: Here is where it hit home. He failed. He failed BIG time. What she told me was that because he didn't start the act of talking until he was 4, it essentially put him behind by 2 years. A child is supposed to begin talking at around 2 or 2 1/2. Although Triscuit knew what things were (he could identify things if you asked him to point out, say, a horse), he never followed through with SPEAKING it. She said that he may be 7 and a half, but his verbal/comprehensive skills are at a 5 year old level. When I told her in the first appointment that he was a year behind in language arts and phonics, she knew something wasn't right...she just needed to verify it before telling me her findings. Because he is 2 years behind in communicative skills, he will also be behind socially. How true THAT is. He talks on a 5 year old level, comprehends on a 5 year old level and THINKS on a 5 year old level. She did reassure me he will catch up to his peers, but it's going to take a LOT of patience and encouragement. She advised me to stay away from the institution of school until he's stable. If we put him back now, it would cause things to get worse. She also thought that holding him back a year would be a VERY good idea (something we had already decided on). He will also need behavioral modification classes. All my frustration towards him...expecting him to "act his age" wasn't something he was capable of. I'm having a rough time with that. I felt so out of touch with my own child when she told me all of this. Poor baby.

So...here's the plan. He definitely has ADHD. He is in need of behavioral therapy (as I said above) and yes, it was strongly advised for him to be put on the lowest dosage of Dexadrine available (Spantules). It's a long acting pill...it will last 8-10 hours, then it wears off, just long enough to get him through the school day. She explained it before like a "buzzing that will go away once the medication takes effect". Also, because he is a VERY visual person (learner), we will be using a LOT of manipulative's during school (thank you to all my teacher friends who told me about this aspect a few weeks ago...you all were SO right on). Make the instructions as simple as possible and don't expect him to understand things the first 3 times it's explained. A lot of patience and encouragement is needed. We were given a 504 request letter (you teachers will understand that one) for his schooling. This will allow more time during testing along with other things.

The most important thing that she noticed is, he wants to be "a good boy" SOOO badly, that when he DOES make a mistake, he gets angry at himself. Some of his argumentative behavior is the fact that he's frustrated, doesn't understand why he's getting in trouble and doesn't know how to communicate his emotions. What I'm about to say may sound harsh. Know that I love you all but as his mother, I have to say this. Those of you reading this that have direct contact with him....UNDERSTANDING, ENCOURAGEMENT and LOVE is HIGHLY needed. Yes, he may be annoying at times and yes, he does seem immature...but we all know WHY now...so please...cut him some slack. I will no longer sit back and except impatient behavior towards my son. Yes, I was often impatient too, but because I understand now what is happening with him, MY perspective has changed. My job as a mother is to do the best I possibly can. This includes making sure they are healthy, loved and PROTECTED. I will do anything and everything to make sure they are getting the best we can give them.

I realize this has been a long post, and I thank you for taking the time to read it. It's been an emotional journey for me, so I've writing this with a lot of emotion on my sleeve. I realize this blog is a little out of character for me, but I'm sure you all understand.

Last thing. I want to thank ALL of you that have been so supportive of everything I've/we've done to help Triscuit...from home schooling, to listening to me babble, to suggesting techniques, to thinking and praying for us, etc. You all have really kept our spirits up and assured us that all would be fine. I can't say thank you enough!!!!