Smack Talk and Cussing

Seven year old boys....need I say more? I'm sure you're thinking, "No...no need to say more". Well....too bad.

Smack Talk

Triscuit has become a smart alec...and it seems to have happened overnight. You cannot say ANYTHING to that child without him being sarcastic (yes...I know...he comes by it honestly) or argumentative. Here is an example of what goes on in my world.

Conversation One:

Mum: "Triscuit". *Pause for a few seconds* "Triscuit!" *Pause again for a few seconds* "TRISCUIT!"

Triscuit: "What Mama?"

Mum: "Answer me the FIRST time you hear me call your name!"

Triscuit: "Sorry."

Mum: "Honey...can you help pick up toys before Daddy comes home?"

Triscuit: "Why? It's not like I made the mess."

Mum: "EXCUSE ME???"

Triscuit: "Toblerone made the mess...why should I have to help clean it up?"

Mum: "Because I'm busy and I need you to be a big boy and help out."

Triscuit: *Mumbling under his breath* *Picking up toys and THROWING them in the toy basket*

Mum: "Son...you need to change your attitude."

Triscuit: "I don't have an attitude Mama."

Mum: "Uh...what do you call THROWING toys around and mumbling under your breath?"

Triscuit: "I call it, "Not Fair".

Mum: *TRYING MY HARDEST NOT TO LAUGH*. "Honey...life isn't fair sometimes (yeah...I pulled that one out of the "sound like your mother" file).

Triscuit: "Sorry Mama (not sounding the LEAST bit sorry)."


Conversation Two (he just pulled this one on me today):


Triscuit: "Mama...I lost the remote to my TV (before you guys yell at me for allowing him to watch too much TV or play video games too much, WE DO SET LIMITS. We have a timer going). Can you help me find it?"

Mum: "Honey...you need to learn to use your eyes and hands to FIND something. Look under your dresser, make your bed, look in your toy box. You have to pick things up and LOOK (another from the "sound like your mother" file)."

Triscuit: *After 5 minutes of looking*. "Mama..I can't find it."

Mum: "Mama can't come to your rescue every time you lose something. Please go look again."

Triscuit: "A parent should help a child find something. That's what a parent should do."

Mum: (Wondering WHERE he comes up with this stuff) "Triscuit. You lost it...now YOU find it."


Cussing


Weenie and I learned through our nephew, "B", that whatever you say around a child will be repeated to another adult SOMEWHERE down the line (that other adult usually is a grandparent). So, we have a "NO CUSSING" policy. Regardless, Triscuit has still picked up a few words down the line (probably from various TV programs).

Situation one:

One day, I was playing a game (yes...I like to play video games. Not often, but I do play). I missed something and had to start the level over. All the sudden I hear:

Triscuit: "DAMMIT!"

Mum: "What did you just say?"

Triscuit: "Dammit (said with a smirk)."

Mum: "WHY do you think you can say that word? Do you hear Mommy and Daddy talking like that?"

Triscuit: "No"

Mum: "Then why do you think YOU can talk like that?"

Triscuit: "It's not bad. It means darn it or shoot."

Mum: "What is the rule, Triscuit? NO CUSSING ALLOWED IN THIS HOUSE! If you do NOT hear Mommy and Daddy using the word then it's NOT an OK word!"

Triscuit:. "I'm sorry (again...said with a smirk)."

Mum: "Nope. This is the third time I've caught you using this word and OBVIOUSLY you haven't learned that it's bad...PLUS you said sorry with a smirk on your face. So...now you get soap."

Triscuit: "NOOOOOOO!!!! I DON'T WANT SOAP!"

Mum: "You need to learn that you can't talk like that. It's disrespectful and wrong."

Triscuit: "I PROMISE NOT TO DO IT AGAIN!!! PLEASE!!!! I DON'T WANT SOAP!!!!!"

He got soap...and grounded for the rest of the day.



Situation Two:

Triscuit and I were watching "Deadliest Catch" one day (if you've never seen it, it's a good show). One of the captains on the show has a saying..."It's like a one legged man in an ass kicking contest".

Triscuit: "Mama? What does ASS mean?"

Mum: "It's a derogatory word for butt."

Triscuit: "What does "derogertory" mean?"

Mum: "Ass isn't a nice word honey. It's another word for butt. I don't want to EVER hear you use it. You understand?"

Triscuit: "Yes Mama.

Mum: "So...WHAT word are you NEVER going to use?"

Triscuit: "THAT word."

Mum: "Good boy."


I know that his seven year old nature will give way to more maturity (and bigger issues than this), so that's why I CHOSE to find the "funny" in these types of situations. The older I get the more I realize that life is too short to be so serious about things!